Angry, dis-satisfied breastfed baby

[Boobinator]

Baby is almost 5 weeks old.
Born with tongue tie.
Snipped at 5 days old.
Id already experienced nipple damage so was therefore given nipple shields tonuse for one week. I am still using them as baby would not latch on without them until recently.
Ive seen countless professionals since tongie tie proceedure, even paid privately all tell me that when baby latches on, she does so very well.
However I am in pain.
Latest professional tells me that there are some issues with milk transference as baby clicking when drinking and nipple is white, squished and painful after feeding.
We have been told to continue with the shields whilst we wait for another appointment with tongue tie people. However, she is now on the breast constantly and I mean constantly. She sucks away lazily and half heartedly so wants to be on me all the time. If not, she's screaming the place down. Everyone says my milk supply is good etc so she should be getting enough.
I fed without the shields yesterday to see if it made a difference and would satisfy her despite the pain I was in and the flow was so fast that she threw up the milk straight afterwards.
Then after hours and hours of feeding with no break today- (not even for sleep as she lazily sucks away whilst dozing and wakes if I take her off, DH gave her a bottle of formula at dinner time (3 ounces). She suddenly calmed and we had 2 hours of a calm relaxed, happy baby.

Any ideas why when Bf she is so unhappy? I wondered if she wasnt getting enough fast enough with use of shields, but without them flow is too fast and she's sick.
Really want to continue bf but finding it so very difficult and painful. I want a happier baby too. Everything is impacting hugely on home life as I'm literally just sat bfing all day everyday. My other child is suffering as is my DH who works all day and then comes home to cook clean put DC to bed etc each evening whilst I feed feed feed. This just isnt sustainable.

Any thoughts as to what is going on?

[RockinRobinTweets]

It could be that she just wants comfort rather than feeding so often? Maybe a dummy will help and then if she goes a bit longer, she might take a better feed?

When dh comes home id try you going and doing dinner and bedtime and see if he can settle her.

It might just be that formula feeding works better for you as a family

[KitchenFloor]

When's the next appointment? Could you pump until then? Hope it's sorted soon for you

[GinIsIn]

I will be completely honest with you. When I was in your position, having spent hundreds of pounds on private lactation consultants, called la leche league almost daily in tears and it was getting to the point where both DS and I were in tears over it all the time, I decided I would rather have the relaxed, calm, happy baby and that that was more important than my desire to breastfeed. Once I admitted it just wasn’t going to work for us and switched to formula everything became much better. Before that, it had got to the point where I dreaded DS being awake because I knew I would have to try and feed him. That is just my personal experience. You have to decide what is right for you.

[InNeedOfALieInNow]

Are your tongue tie people lactation consultants? If not I’d see a qualified LC

I saw lots of qualified breastfeeding people but none got to the route of the problem
until I saw a LC

If your nippleis squished then there is a latch problem - maybe another tie or maybe positioning. I’d hazard a guess that the milk flow is slowed a lot through the nipple shields and she’s having to work very hard to get milk (which is tiring for her). If the applies the same technique without the shield she’s going to get a shock, like you said, as the flow is much faster.

Out of interest, where is the pain? Is it a specific sore? Just when she latches? Or throughout a whole feed?

[MrsSchadenfreude]

I did what Fenella did. I started with a bottle of formula at night, which meant that DD1 slept for four hours rather than one (which was bliss for me as I was so sleep deprived). This was enough for a few weeks, but I finally gave in and switched to formula full time. We were all happier for it.

[Justtickingboxes]

Who carried out the tongue tie snip? Have you done a HazelBaker tongue test or similar tongue mobility test to check all is ok?

[flumpybear]

I combi fed both mine from different stages for similar reasons of satisfaction from baby - after two children i'd say do what works for your family

[Justtickingboxes]

My dd1 had a pisterior tongue tie which needed surgery, rather than just a front snip. She was diagnosed following a test carried out by a specialised consultant. Surgery took 5 mins with a paediatric plastic surgeon at St George's Tooting. Took her some time to re-learn how to latch on, then all settled and I managed to breastfeed till 8 months

[Justtickingboxes]

posterior

[Boobinator]

Second tongue tie has been confirmed.
It has been snipped again.
They've said its unlikely to grow back a 3rd time.
Feeding feels better overall but still getting painful nipples. Still squished but not as badly as before after feeds.
I have a hunch that the latch isnt as deep as it should be but I'm battling with angry flailing arms the whole time so a deep latch seems impossible when baby is angry. Strapped her arms into a muslin but she gets red faced and angrier that she cant move her arms.
Every professional recommends a different feeding position so feeling overwhelmed by advice. Whenever they 'tweak' our positioning my hand/wrist buckles under baby's weight and I dont feel comfortable at all. overwhelmed by it all.

[arbrighton]

Give her time to adapt as she essentially has a whole new mmouth to get used to

It doesn't fix the latch overnight

[Battleax]

Have you tried expressing?

[GummyGoddess]

You could try what I'm doing to reduce cluster feeding? I have a silicone pump (like a hakka one but a cheaper generic from Amazon, think naturflow maybe) that I put on one side while feeding on the other. It automatically gets milk out without having to do anything. I then pour it straight into a bottle after feeding has finished and feed it to him immediately.

No spending ages pumping and have happy, fat and milk drunk baby after. Also has the bonus of ensuring he can take a bottle in case of an emergency.

[Errrrrrr]

Poor you, both my DC had tongue tie and it's just horrible. Even after they were snipped it took a while as we both had to re-learn how to feed again. It did get better suddenly around the 6 week mark so hopefully it will for you too, i think at that point they get stronger and more able to actively feed. Have you tried the 'flipple' or extended latch technique? It's quite good for angry babies as you kind of roll the nipple into an open mouth. Youtube will describe it better than me!

Best of luck, hope you find a solution that works for you all soon, whatever itooks like!

[KitchenFloor]

Pillow/boppy style feeding cushion?

[TheyCanGoInTheBucket]

I came on here to write a post very similar to yours OP. DC2 is 4.5 weeks and bf has been nothing but a massive pain in the arse (or boob to be more specific). He fed great for the first few weeks but since this very hot weather he has been at the breast ALL DAY and it's really getting to me. I now also have mastitis. No one needs a fever in this heat 😔

I bf DC1 for 12 minutes months and really want to do the same for DC2 but establishing it is SO FUCKING HARD AND PAINFUL. He fusses loads. A dummy has helped as per PP suggestion.

You're not alone

[TheyCanGoInTheBucket]

12 months not minutes!!

[littledinaco]

Have you tried the flipple technique, it can be good for a shallow latch.

If you aren’t already ‘biological nursing’ or ‘laid back nursing’ can be good for a fast flow.

A good cranial osteopath can help, especially if tt has reattached (this can be due to stiffness in babies neck/back/shoulders, etc).

I know it’s overwhelming when you get different advice/positioning etc from different people. It can be helpful to see a good lactation consultant (ibclc) as you’re more likely to find out exactly what the problem is, which then makes it easier to sort.

Look up paced feeding and make sure you do this with any bottles you give.