Ff help no idea what i am doing 😣

[CatMum87]

DD is 4 weeks old and after struggling breastfeeding for various reasons we have been ff for the last week and a half.
I am however so anxious as I have not got a clue what I am doing :(. Bit of background she was born at 37 weeks 5lb 7 and her last weigh in she was 6lb 13. She was and still is a very sleepy baby (admitted for jaundice which seems to have cleared) and we were advised to keep waking her every 3 hours to feed. Now that she is ff we have no idea if we are to keep doing this?? We are currently letting her go to 4 hours and then will wake her to feed. She will then take 3-4 oz however will sometimes be sick after. She has the last few nights started thrashing around in her sleep and seems uncomfortable. also having trouble opening her bowels every 48 hours and again seems so unsettled and in pain.
I feel like such a failure writing this but I just haven't a clue what to do. Are we overfeeding her? Should we be letting her wake to feed? Oh I'm in such a mess I just want to do the right thing.
One very anxious mummy

Congratulations on the arrival of your DD! So firstly this might be a really obvious question and apologies if you are but are you winding her enough? FF babies tend to require more winding and if not winded properly they can get very restless and sometimes bring up air and little milk with it. Wind can also make them more restless at night.
Every 4 hrs is fine if that's how long she's going in between feeds - is the HV happy with her weight?
Lastly are you using no1 speed teats on your bottles?
Sounds like you're doing brilliantly to me

Thanks igglepiggleingin....we are winding her after every feed and trying to keep her upright for a while after. Also using infacol but not sure if that is making any difference. We are using nuk bottles with the slowest flow teat to stop her guzzling her feeds. We are going 4 hourly in the day but she would just comtinue to sleep if we let her which is worrying me as i thought babies would wake and let you know if they were hungry? She just seems so unhappy sometimes and we are all exhausted and I feel like it's my fault for swapping to formula .

A ff needs roughly 2.5 floz per pound in weight in 24 hours so she should be having around 17 floz, is she getting this?

You don’t say if the HCPs have said if the jaundice has cleared, if you’re not sure, I’d take her to the Baby Weigh-in clinic this week and discuss it with your HV.

Also, are you waking her every 4 hours at night or do you mean you are having to wake her every 4 hours in the day too?

If you are having to wake her in the day for a feed, I’d try after 3 hours from the beginning of the last feed. Change her nappy, then try feeding her. I’d try burping her at least once during the feed too.

Could you try something like this, assuming she’ll take 3floz, but offering 4?

Feed at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm and 10 pm and then if she wakes for it at any time in the night. Otherwise, assuming the jaundice has gone, I’d let her sleep.

I know that babies, including ff babies should be fed on demand but with a baby who’s very sleepy. I’d be waking them.

I’d also get her outside at least twice a day. Could your DH get up a little earlier and wake her around the garden in the morning while it’s so light and nice? This will help her circadian rhythms and will give you a break to get a shower, or some much needed sleep

And you are not a crap parent. You don’t need to justify why you are ffing to anyone. If you’re really not sure what you are doing, UNICEF have produced a leaflet on Bottle Feeding and you’ve always got us MNers here for you 24/7

I would probably get her looked at it if you're having to wake her for feeds - just to be on the safe side. The infacol might be making her slightly constipated - we didn't really notice much of a difference so gave up. And please try not to worry about changing to FF - you're doing the right thing by feeding your baby - imo, fed is best.

Normally I would say feed on demand like a breastfed baby, but if she doesn't want to wake, I would certainly off her small frequent feeds.

You can give her a small bit of cooled boiled water to help with the constipation. It's what I had to do with my Ds. It was sad how excited I got over him having a poo

I would agree on seeking help. Most babies are very sleepy to begin with but should wake up when hungry. It won't hurt to have another check over.

Congratulations though OP

You haven't failed in having to FF. I tried to BF both my children and couldn't do it and they are healthy 5 and 3 year olds now

Also what formula are you using?

Some agree better with some babies than others.

I used SMA with my dd, but we tried all sorts with my Ds before realising he was CMPA and needed milk free milk.

I've heard that apatimil is a thinner milk which can be good for constipated babies but don't quote me

Thanks ladies....she is definitely getting more than 17oz as she will often drain 4oz which we she is getting at least every 3-4 hours...although with the slight sickness I can't be sure.

The midwife discharged us at 10 days as said she didn't look jaundiced any more and that was that. And her colour does look ok now

She appears to be able to wake up at night for food....clearly has her day and night mixed up! But can take forever to settle again due to her discomfort. we are getting out at least once a day but could get her out first thing to help her get used to daytime.

Uh I feel like there are so many issues and out of my depth. all other babies her age seem so much more alert and happy x

Nothing much to add apart from a and a cheery “ ypu are doing great”.
I desperatly wanted to BF but after having my nipples squeezed so —fucking— hard by midwives I bruised I gave up after three weeks. DD was mainly on FF anyway as I didn’t get the ‘ letdown’ reflex.
My dad was born prem and weighed 3lb 13oz. She dropped to 3lb 6 and was 4lb 6 when i got her home.
She bloody loved her formula.
A friend had a baby at the same time and exclusively BF her for 6months.
By the time ours were both five years old my girl was by far the healthiest. She is now 10 and has had antibiotics once in her life.
Friends daughter had had them at least a dozen times by the time she was 6 ,had lots of allergy’s and was always ill.
FF isn’t giving up or devils food. It helped make my daughter grow like a weed so don’t feel guilty , please.
I would say to let your baby sleep on a night and wake her up during the day. Trust your instincts. You are doing so well. Soon, this time will pass and I promise - you will miss it and look back and wish you could have just one more night time feed with her. ( well, I do so i assume everybody else wants to as well!!)

We are using aptsmil pro futura...not sure whether this is too rich for her??

Sorry cross posted with you there OP. Yes, I’d definitely wake her after 3 hours in the day and I’d see the HV this week too, get her to check you DD for jaundicecand explain that you are having to wake her for feeds after 4 hours in the day.

Agree with others too, it might be worth changing the formula. HIPP organic seemed to suit my DN but like Soubriquet says there may be a chance that she has Cow’s Milk Protein Allergy. Have a read of the symptoms and see what you think

Cross posted again with you sorry. I doubt the Aptamil will be too rich for her. All formula milk has to comply to certain standards so are all pretty much the same but some definitely seem to suit sone babies better than others. The Aldi milk is getting good reviews atm.

Oh and don’t compare to other babies. You won’t see the parents struggling at home. My DS would scream for 22 hours a day and then would sleep contentedly for the two hours I was out in the mornings.

If she’s sleeping in the day and waking at night, I’d definitely be getting her outside more in the day and enlisting DH with this. Have you got a sling he could take her out for a walk with? And I’d be waking her after 3 hours too in the daytime. If she’s waking for feeds and actually wanting them, you ideallyvwant her to be doing this in the day.

Ditch the guilt for switching to formula. It's unhelpful bollocks. Millions of babies are formula fed and thrive. Don't beat yourself up over nothing. Our lady used the Aptamil no1 stuff.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply...it really is lovely of you all
We have the weigh in clinic tomorrow so I am going to try and speak to the health visitor then and see what she says. I did mention to them last week about her lack of bowel movements but she wasn't all concerned about DD and seemed more interested in how I was coping!! But maybe I just need to keep airing my concerns??

If her not pooing is a big concern, have you tried tummy massage, cycling her legs and no nappy time? Sometimes wearing them in a sling can help to produce the desired result. How often is she actually pooing now?

Yep we've been doing the massages and let cycling a couples of times a day. also a warm bath when she is awake enough! x Haven't tried Haven't tried the no nappy time as she hates being naked! Have ordered a sling so will have that soon. Since being F2F shortest has been 24 hours, longest 2 and a half days by which point she seems v uncomfortable.

*leg

Are her poos soft when she does go? Does she cry when pooing or trying to go?

They have been soft when she goes...but in the lead up she does tend to be upset and rather cranky. A different girl when she has been!!

It’s good that they are soft and it can be normal for them to be cranky but not crying. If she is crying, I think if you read the carton, you can add a little extra water to some feeds, but definitely check the carton.

Hi OP, just wanted to add to the chorus of "you're doing great, ditch the guilt" etc.

DD was a VERY sleepy child for the first 6 weeks ago. We had to wake her every 2-3 hours to feed during the day, and MW said we could have no more than one 4 hour stretch at night. As to keep this up until she "woke up" essentially.

She was bf but struggled to latch as she was too sleepy. I expressed and fed her that way but it was exhausting and we never really knew if she was getting enough.

All we could do was what you're already doing: keep getting her weighed, keep an eye on wet and dirty nappies. So, I think you're doing everything right by the sound of it. I'd heard it wasn't unusual for them to poop every other day or so.

Keep going, you're doing great!

Hello all.....we had a weigh in today and our little dinky is 7lb 2 up from 6lb 13. Spoke to the HV about the trouble with wind and sleepiness etc and she suggested trying a different formula, so I've gone for hipp organic and will see how she gets on with that. The jaundice all seems clear so we are just to keep getting her to take milk regularly. So far since 8am she has managed 11oz so will keep going and getting little miss sleepy some milk in! Also got some dentinox so will give that a try as she really wasn't getting the infacol in as she kept gagging. You are all so wonderful and it's nice to hear everyone's stories and that my baby isn't broken! This is the hardest thing I have ever done!!!

That’s good news Cat. Are you adding the Dentinox to the bottle?

We have been putting the dentinox in her bottle and it seems to be helping get a bit of wind up! We also swaddled her last night and had the best nights sleep and she settled well! Probably a fluke lol.
Been making sure she doesn't go longer than4 hours in the day between feeds and she takes 4oz each time. still seems more than what she is meant to have according to her weight but first time parents we are making it up as we go along

I wouldn’t make her to have 4 floz in one go if she’s happy with less OP.

OP congratulations on your little one. My DD now 6 was born at 36 weeks, she couldn't BF so I tried expressing and bottle feeding to start but after a few weeks I went over to FF entirely (and felt guilty too), my DD was also constipated, our gp was great and for the first 6 months, maybe more she was given infant gaviscon with her feeds, it really worked for her, we tried infacol but it didn't help us, also we found that Aptamil was the best formula milk for her in the end - if I remember correctly it was the only one that didn't contain fibre, when we took her to the gp I actually described how she was behaving as if she had IBS...anyway the combination worked a treat! My DD also woke in the night & slept in the day - eventually she sorted herself out but it took a while

Good luck, it does get easier I promise