Can some babies just not BF?

[MammyT]

I've just found out I'm pregnant - I have a 10 month old baby as well - and I'm having flashbacks to the BF problems I had directly after the baby was born.
She was full-term and a healthy weight but for some reason, the baby never took to it. She would half latch on but wouldn't suck. I was in a very busy NHS ward and there were long periods when no-one was available to help. But that said, I had lots of random people - nurses, midwives, volunteers etc - try for a few minutes to latch her on. But still she wouldn't suck. Fed up with the ward and the lack of any concrete advice, I discharged myself and went home. She was never checked by a paediatrician.
I was in a state. I'd really wanted to BF and yet this baby didn't seem to know how. The HV said it was because I had flat nipples and recommended a nipple shield. I tried that once or twice which worked for a minute or two at most, if at all.
I never found out what was going on. I expressed for a month, topping up with formula. It was very disappointing. AT that point, the reflux she was born with had escalated and I didn't have time to feed her, express, then wash all the equipment ready for the next time. So I gave up expressing.
The only things I can put my finger on are possibly flat nipples (!) and the fact that my daughter quickly developed reflux from birth. Are either of these factors the reason?
I really want to BF this new baby and want to arm myself with information and possible contacts. Did anyone else have a similar problem and then go on to successfully BF a subsequent baby?

Thanks for reading and sorry it's so long..

Congrats on your pregnancy. It's unusual but not impossible for women to be unable to breastfeed and yes some babies do find it impossible. Have you tried a nipplette device? I would personally call your midwife and ask for some help immediately since you are pregnant - don't leave it and also contact LLL. Good luck. One bad experience shouldn't mean the next baby won't feed like a dream though. Well done you for being so determined as well!

I had a nightmare of a time with my first baby, I gave up bf after 12 days. Second time round I went to see a NCT BF counsellor before the birth to discuss my experience and had her visit me once in hospital and again at home. She made a couple of small suggestions which made all the difference, and I bf ds2 for 3 years! Basically I'm saying don't despair, find someone you trust to support you and get continuity, not a succession of different midwives/HVs with different ideas.

I'm not an expert so cant advise about your problems befroe. BUt I woudl have thought that soemone coudl tell you now if there is a "problems" with your nipples!

My second baby woudlnt latch on either and had very bad reflux and projectile vomiting, he was a nightmare to feed. But my third was a dream in comparison and I'm still happily feeding him at 17 months

lots of women who have probelsm with their first go on to feed another baby. please see if you can get soem advise now from someone who knwos what they are takling about. That will make you feel more confident

Thanks to both of you for your upbeat messages!

LizaRose - delighted to read that things worked out the second time around. I will get in touch with the NCT. I had actually tried to call the local woman when I returned from hospital but she never returned my call But I'm in a different area now and I believe they're more active.

aardfark - This might be a stupid question but what is the LLL?

Thanks,
MammyT

Some national telephone helpline n umbers for you

Association of breastfeeding mothers

0870 401 7711

Breastfeeding network

0870 900 8787

La Leche League

0845 120 2918

NCT

0870 444 8708

Kristina - interesting that you also had latching-on problems with a reflux baby.. I've tried goggling for any connection but haven't come up with anything yet so far.

my dd and I never managed it - we both found it hard initially (she was pre-term) and I didn't know where to look for help/didn't want to admit I needed help

ds fed straight away, and fed him until he was 2 and a half. think he just found it easy, esp as he was actually DOUBLE the size of dd when he was born, and thus found latching on easier.

Please try and see the hospital bf consultant or contact La Leche or NCT beforehand to make sure you ahve support in place if you need it. I'd arranged to have a post-natal doula with ds as was so worried after dd, but things turned out that we were fine by ourselves.

good luck

La Leche league - ah I see the lovely lulumama has arrived to provide the number

Congratulations on your pregnancy, MammyT. Your experience sounds very like mine with DS1 - he just didn't seem to know what to do, and like you I gave up after a couple of weeks. I'm pleased to say that I'm now BFing DS2 so don't give up hope. Did you still have flat nipples when you used the breast pump? If expressing made them protrude, a baby could too. That's the advice I was given and it turned out to be true. Another thing, I've heard that cranio-sacral massage or cranial osteopathy can be amazing for babies who are having trouble latching on. Perhaps you could find out about practitioners in your area, and check in advance that they do babies. Good luck.

THanks to all of you for your advice and phone numbers. You have given me hope that it might work out!

MummyTL - after using a breast pump, my nipples protrude "normally" (whatever that is!) so I was very interested to read the advice you were given.

I'm going to follow up on this now to get things in place early.

Thanks again,
MammyT

So sorry to hear about your problems with your first baby. I had huge problems with my DS - subsequently found out it was tongue tie WAY too late, but at least I'm now aware of that possibility with a second since it's genetic. But it's so sad when it doesn't work out isn't it? Like others said though, every baby is different so best of luck with your second - I'm sure you'll do just fine.

Your story sounds almost identical to mine Mammy T. My baby behaved exactly the same. The Only difference is that at the 11th hour, day 3 in hospital without feeding properly, my DH found a very good senior midwife who examined my DS, found he had become dehydrated and saw that I was in a total state too and basically gave us some STRUCTURED help.

She wrote up a feeding schedule of 4 hourly feeds of expressed milk topped up with formula (until my milk came in fully) given via a cup with a 15 minute 'try' on the breast at the start of every feed. I was also given a breast pump and that helped bring my milk in. The formula gave him much needed fluids and 'perked him up' enough for him to try and feed. It took another 24 hours at leasy of this but having a writen plan that was behing adhered to by all the staff gave me something to hold on to. He did eventually feed and although my confidence had been very shaken, we did manage to BF without that many problems for a long time. I also had flat nipples, but that was because my breasts were so full and I found expressing at the start of feeds helped.

Allot of babies breastfeed straight away and your next one has as much of a chance of doing so. If you can avoide the drugs, especially pethadine during labour, that can help allot. I am convinced it was the coctail of drugs I took during labout that made him to dopey and sleepy to feed. Having the baby put on you to feed asap after the birth can help too.

The problem is you can't gurantee good care back on the ward IF you need it. You could always write up a plan of what to do if your baby wont latch on, similar to the one I was given, and insist on help with it being followed back on the ward. I'm due in September and that's what I am planning to do. You could also get in touch with your local BF support people and get names and numbers ready for if you need them.

I am very scared of having problems too, but these are the things I am planning and I also now know where to go for help if I need it.

Good luck!

There is every chance that things will be totally different next time.

MammyT - sorry your call to NCT was not returned. It can happen that she couldn't hear your number correctly, or she didn't get the message, or she lost the piece of paper with your number on....in real life, that happens, and all of those have happened to me (I am an NCT bfc).

Your story is a sad one...it's great you plan to have another go

This time, fend off the 'random people - nurses, midwives, volunteers etc - try for a few minutes to latch her on' - that can be a real nightmare and it can make things worse.

Skin to skin contact and lots of it with this new baby will support your early bf....hope it works out.