Talk to me about breastfeeding newborn with a toddler, please!

[Mybabystolemysanity]

Going to have DC2 as an early induction (38 weeks-ish). I already have a 17month DD who I didn't manage to breastfeed because it was so painful.

I'm trying to educate myself this time and I need all of your collective wisdom because I'm desperate to feed this one myself if I possibly can.

So... Can I have your tips for establishing feeding, especially in the first week? I plan to try and stay in hospital as long as possible to give myself a chance. Am also going to be colostrum harvesting beforehand, as I'm on Labetalol and baby is estimated to be big (so I anticipate hungry).

Did you feel being induced before your due date affected your ability to feed?

How do you manage when you get home? We're doing a move to a bigger house next week, so I'll have a room set up with playpen, toys, TV and sofa where we can all hang out next to the kitchen, but I'm very worried that managing DD's needs and trying to breastfeed frequently enough will be nearly impossible. How did you cope/organise things? How long did it take you to manage to resume normal activities (mainly toddler group in the morning and just an hour or two out of the house in the afternoon)? I won't have a great deal of help, as no family very nearby and DH will be back to work after two weeks.

Finally, feeding at night. I plan to try to combination fees from quite early on- last time I had no milk come in until day 5 or 6 and if DH could give a little bit, maybe I could get a tiny bit more rest? We are kicking him out of bed so I can co-sleep with the baby and breastfeed in bed for night wakings.

Give me everything you've got! All suggestions and wisdom welcome!

Doing a bump!

CBeebies
Stickers
CBeebies
Play Doh
CBeebies
Magic sand
CBeebies
Did I mention CBeebies?

Good luck!

Ha ha! We love CBeebies in our house!

There is a brilliant book called 'coping with two' which had really practical advice on getting out and about etc, I was doing this straight after my partner went back after 2 weeks' leave and found it much easier out than at home where I went slightly loopy. Sounds like you have a great set up, but really for me lowering my standards and lots more telly is what worked as well as saying yes to every offer of help and lots of ready meals.

I breastfed newborn twins with a 21month old. Lots of sofa games, stickers, jigsaws, Orchard games are good (we are a fan of Tummy Ache and the Post Box game), have the toddler make you food with pretend food/cafe, and the best one of all, Cbeebies!

It is doable, it isn't easy but your DC1 will not remember it at all. Do what you need to do to survive and get through the tough early days. Good luck and God speed!

I'll have a look for that, thanks!

We spend a lot of time out anyway, as I get cabin fever cooped up at home with DD. Hopefully she won't give up her car naps for a few months more..

Coping with Two https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1848508123/ref=cmswwrcppapiGoajBbEEDVCF55_
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Also this Gina Ford one surprisingly helpful on how to fit baby around toddler, just ignore all the bits you don't like as with all GF!
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The Contented Baby with Toddler Book https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/009192958X/ref=cmm_swrrcpapii8oajBb0VKJNK0

I can't give advice re toddler (although I'll be in this position in a few months time so eager to read the advice) but in terms of establishing breastfeeding my advice is 'knowledge is power'

Read as much as you can about breastfeeding. There's a book called 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding' - it's a wanky title but a useful book to read.

Look at Kellymom website (it's American so some guidance/info isn't the same as UK but otherwise a great resource)

Watch YouTube - the NHS has some great short videos about how breastfeeding works, how to latch etc.

Remember cluster feeding is normal. It's relentless but it's normal.

Milk won't come in for 3-5 days. Non-stoo feeding is normal.

Learn to breastfeed lying down. It's much easier to rest (my plan is to give DD my phone and let her go crazy on kids YouTube)

Read about tongue tie (this may be why you found it painful). Quicker it's recognised, quicker it can hopefully be dealt with.

Read about mastitis so you recognise the symptoms.

By lanisoh and use it liberally.

But nipple shields if necessary.

Rugby hold is a good position for a small baby to feed from.

If your NHS trust offers a breastfeeding workshop, attend, and take your OH (if you have one/Trust permits it). My dp really helped me in the early days.

I'm. Not sure if being in hospital is a good thing or a bad thing. If you are on a quiet ward with helpful midwives it should assist. If you're on a busy ward with OH staying, constant visitors and rushed off their feet midwives then this may hinder you.

I think iv covered everything

great advice re the toddler!

I have also read coping with two and it's great.

about establishing bf I would highly recommend reading the womanly art of breastfeeding by LLL. I struggled to feed dd1 and gave up after a nighmare week. i tried expressing but my supply gradually dwindled to nothing. after reading the book i successfully fed dd2 to 13 months and and now feeding ds1 who is 16 weeks.

sorry to just refer you to books but I found them so helpful and it's hard to condense the advice.

you'll get into the swing of it in no time and it quickly becomes the new norm. make the most of those first 2 weeks to get feeeding estsblished and your toddler used to you feeding the baby. all the best

A sling! Close caboo saved me. Meant I could play hands free during the phase of ‘baby won’t sleep unless being held’.

I second Close Caboo, really comfy even with big baby.

I was very lucky that breastfeeding my first was easy and successful. I put most of that down to luck. My baby latched on less than an hour after birth- I'd read somewhere that that was important. I used lots of nipple cream. Only discomfort I had was first ten seconds for the first few weeks. I used to count down from ten slowly, knowing that the pain would stop before 0. I gave some formula on day 4 from a syringe when it was clear baby was hungry, I didn't have milk yet and baby was latching well. I was induced. I did all my early feeds lying down.
Good luck with your induction- mine went very quickly and smoothly and I hope yours does too.

It's normal to have milk come in at 5 days.

Don't plan on getting out regularly for a two hour window for quite a while. The baby will be napping frequently for the first 6 weeks at least, and maybe much longer. Then that will settle to a three nap day, leaving you with just enough time to maybe get to the loo.

Your best bet is to rely on the TV for distraction of the toddler, and to hire a nice local teen to play for a couple of hours maybe three days per week.

I had a section at 39+2, so didn't naturally labour and was worried about producing milk. I learnt how to hand express colostrum, which was very useful and really helped. Needn't have worried, as day 4, hello milk!

Second what pp said about nipple shields - it was bloody painful to start off with, and I had v flat nipples so he didn't have much to grab onto. My midwife showed me how to 'sandwich' my boob, which worked, but hurt, hence the nipple shields. Found it very easy to wean off them, I know some people worry about that.

Also learn to feed lying down - it's brill.

Kellymom website is fantastic, if you have any general questions. And the bf board here is great too, for any specific questions.

I have no advice on the toddler, as I'm just getting started, but just want to add a Good Luck - it was massively painful for a week, mildly painful for the following two, and then now it's just the easiest thing ever, and I'm so so glad I got through that first bit.

Once you get the hang of breastfeeding it is easy to read stories to a toddler- so if you can have a basket of books or treats for your toddler that get brought out when you feed - see it as bonding time for you all.
Read and learn up on it all- knowledge and understanding of what breastfeeding is and how it works helps you feel more in control and less panicked.
And I fed all four of mine without ever being able to express much at all- so expressing isn’t a good sign of milk production. Mine ranged from 7lb 12 to 10lb 14.5(!!) and I didn’t need to supplement any of them. You WILL produce enough in all likelihood.
Find a BF cafe or group as your toddler may enjoy that too.
All the best

I read the Gina Ford book and found it really useful. Also; feed baby in the morning, then hand him the baby and shower and dress before he leaves for work(1 feed), feed the when toddler is sat at the table at meal times( =3 feeds )feed baby whilst toddler is in the bath (another feed) I found in the early days I needed to be home by 4pm or it all went wrong.

Thank you so much everyone! Not one of you has come back to tell me I'm off my head and shouldn't try. Am feeling very positive about it being absolutely fine. Will do an Amazon order for books this evening and keep on with the you tube videos too.

You're all smashing!

I will be juggling a newborn and a 2.3 year old and have similar worries! I think lots of help from DH when he’s around in the early days to entertain the toddler so you can focus on the cluster feeding, which is needed to build your supply. Annoyingly it’s meant to be better for establishing your supply to do the night feeds too.
Then for string out and about you really have to be willing to feed at places like toddler group, fortunately at the playgroup I used to go to there were always at least 2 mums breastfeeding younger ones while their older ones played so it didn’t feel at all awkward.

The cluster feeding in late afternoon /early evening are important for supply, so having dinner organised before then is a necessity.

The feedings between 11:30pm and 2:30am are also extremely important for supply.

It's nice to be able to wind down and get off to bed early, leaving DH to sort out his own packed lunch or whatever he needs for the next day, and to do a little tidying/kitchen cleaning and sorting out. Nobody should be banking on watching the football all evening in other words (if you are close to induction day).