Please help - breastfeeding

[YoumeandlittleP]

I really need some advice. My baby is a week old and I'm really struggling with the feeding.

This is my second and I struggled with my first but still managed to work through a 100% tongue tie and combi fed until 3 months.

This time, my DD was also born with a tie and it was sorted straight away but I still can't seem to get the feeding right. My latch is really bad, my nipples are cracked and bleeding, I've been to a support group and seen a bf consultant and I still can't sort it out. It's so demoralizing and I can feel myself going down emotionally. I've topped up with formula a few times to give my breasts a chance to heal and it gives my DD such terrible wind and she gets so upset that it breaks me. I know I'm being stupid but I don't know what to do. I can't give up but my mh is really starting to take a beating. I just need reassurance that it will get better I suppose. Sorry for the rambling

I always felt resentful that nobody ever warned me how utterly breaking it could be to breastfeed. It’s so hard at the moment because your DD is trying to establish supply and is growing so much, but it definitely does get easier (if even less glamorous as they bat your boobs around in public). Do you have one side which is worse than the other? Can you pump that side and feed off the other to give it a break?

No other advice but I’ve been where you are. You’re doing brilliantly xx

Please dont be so hard on yourself, breastfeeding can most certainly be painful, stressful and difficult and you are not being silly or doing anything wrong, but it can take time. I would definitely recommend speaking with your midwife/dr again, so they may connect you to the right support.

I think you can also buy nipple shields to protect your nipples if they are getting very badly cracked. It sounds as though bub is not latching on properly hence the pain and discomfort to you. Good luck in getting through it and know that you are doing an amazing job no matter how your dear bub is fed.

Firstly, it sounds like you are doing an absolutely amazing job, so please don’t beat yourself up, although I appreciate that’s hard on a newborn’s sleep schedule!

Have you thought about trying a silicon nipple shield? My baby is 10 days old and we didn’t realise she had a tongue tie until 4 days in, by which stage my nipples were absolutely trashed and there was no way I could put her back on until they healed. A lactation consultant gave me a nipple shield and quite honestly if she hadn’t I would’ve had to give up and just move onto formula. The shield gave my nipples the chance to heal ( which they did remarkably quickly) and also helped my dd get into the habit of opening her mouth a bit wider so her latch is better. Might be worth a go? But whatever you do, you are clearly doing your best for your dd. Your mental health is really important, so just do what you need to to get through; your dd will be just fine.

If your breastfeeding consultant hasn’t helped could you try another one? We’re they iblc registered? I’d get some (more) help as it’s possible to get stuck at this point where the pain makes it impossible to continue. Hang in there and see if you or your partner can call a L.C. today for an urgent home visit 💐

I came in here to suggest hippie shields and also Lansingoh nipple cream too - also pay dry nipples after BF and don't leave to air dry . I combi fed both mine - it worked for us - don't beat yourself up. Re the wind, try a different formula and just keep winding your baby all the time (in and off of course otherwise you'll never get anything done lol!

Good luck

Very pro breastfeeding here but totally understand the need to do whatever works and keeps you sane. If you're needing to top up atm, try a different formula - they won't all affect her like that, maybe she has a CMPA or something? It must be so tough, the only thing I can recommend is to keep demanding help and ask to speak to professional after professional as sometimes they just miss things. There are some good BF advice groups of FB, I'd recommend joining "breastfeeding yummy mummies" even though the title is cringe it's a massive group with a lot of v experienced/trained mums. Good luck, just try everything you can and if it doesn't work out try not to beat yourself up (so hard as a mum) and focus on the positives ie others can feed while you eat/sleep/shower/go out for the night!

Kelly mom is good for breastfeeding advice.

kellymom.com/hot-topics/newborn-nursing/

Sorry to hear it is being so difficult for you. I had a lot of difficulty with my first and it took 2-3 weeks and the help of a support worker trained in breast feeding support to get established, but then fed for 9 months, so difficulties now don’t mean difficulties forever. Have you tried other positions for the baby? I found the ‘underarm’ hold at a sort of head-raised angle (for the baby) much more successful to get a good latch when both DCs were newborn. IME it’s difficult for anyone else to really check for a good latch, but once I’d found one it actually completely stopped hurting, so if it’s still painful it may not be quite right still. Personally I think Don’t be afraid to top up with formula if you need to either (the important thing is the baby being fed) but do check you are using the best bottle and teat for a newborn to reduce wind etc. and remember to wind them thoroughly afterwards. Most of all be kind to yourself and be assured that formula is better than it has ever been and we are fortunate to have that as a safe alternative if we need it.
I know some women have found this organisation helpful so might be worth a try:
www.laleche.org.uk
Good luck and I hope you get everything resolved and get a chance to relax and enjoy the newborn cuddles soon

Thank you all very much. I think I will send DH out today to get me some shields. If the pain wasn't as bad, I know I could do it. I just remember how badly this stage ruined my mh with my first, to the point that I can't remember any of it, just the fact it was really tough. I actually wanted to enjoy the newborn stage this time but I'm not sure that's going to happen if this carries on.

Thank you all again.

My son never latched properly due to illness so was introduced to sheild to help. I always intended to wean him off but we are still happily doing it 4 months in with no problems. The nip sheilds could be a good compromise while you heal.

I find the medela ones are good. You can order them off ebay/amazon. Or my first set I got from hospital.

Shields saved my sanity. DS was initially bottle fed in hospital due to me being ill.
Midwife eventually recommended shields as I battled to transition him back - then at five weeks he started refusing them and is now full breast fed

Get medela shields or tommee tippee avoid boots own brand

Definitely nipple shields... they saved breastfeeding for me. I cried every time baby latched on for the first two weeks! Also... washable breast pads as opposed to disposable ones... I found the disposable ones stuck to my sore nipples and hurt when I had to pull them off.
Don't feel guilty about giving formula. Breastfeeding is bloody hard work in the first month but you do get into the swing of things and it does stop hurting eventually once the latch is right, nipples have healed etc.
Good luck and don't be too hard on yourself! You're doing a fab job

Also we're still using nipple shields 4 months in with no problems with supply at all! My DD just can't latch without them now! Just make sure you have a few sets dotted about the house, in your change bag etc.

This fills me with some kind of hope! Thank you all. Nipple shields it is

I'm currently using shields on one side. Midwife said to try and express a tiny bit of milk after each feed to spread on nipple and let it dry before putting on lansinoh. I express milk from the other side as it hurts too much to do it on the shield side.

Another shout here for nipple shields. One of my boobs was giving me AGONY in the early days with my DS, and just one day of using a shield on that side worked wonders. It was incredible how quickly my nipple healed and also how my baby didn't even seem to notice / mind the difference!