Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Tomorrow on This MOrning: When Breast Isn't Best

50 replies

PeachyChocolateEClair · 21/05/2007 14:21

Don't know if ahs been mentioned elsewhere, but apparently thsi item is showing tomorrow (Tuesday) morning if anyone feels the need to watch it.

Shall be expecting lots of, er, related 'debate' on MN that evening!

OP posts:

islandofsodor · 22/05/2007 12:45

Similar experience here. Baby was 5lb 14oz at birth but dropped to 4lb 10 at 5 days old.

BUT and its a big but

I ha d a homebirth, my friend was the local NCT bfc and also infant feeding co-ordinator for my HA. Midwife gave great support, I realised there was a prob on day 5 and hand expressed into a bottle cap before she arrived.

HV and MW both knew when they were stumped as to what was going on and called in several local experts.

All through this I was encouraged to do whatever was right for me, this included some formula alongside expressing but it was a decision made with the right info re risks etc and all along I was supported.
6 weeks later ds finally learnt how to feed effectively direct fromthe breast after exclusive expressing.

jetjets · 22/05/2007 12:52

Message withdrawn

seamonster · 22/05/2007 13:03

I had the same problem with ds2 he was born 8lb 5 and went down to 6lb 12. We were at home and were sent to the children's ward for 5 days whilst he was put on a drip. I obviously had no help with bf there and so failed. Yet even though it was a hard decision to make, I still got told off (literally) for deciding to ff. Yes I do feel angry towards the professionals who have all made me feel dreadful for ffing. I feel that even friends look down on me and I get embarrassed when feeding in public (ff)

seamonster · 22/05/2007 13:04

Of course I'd still encourage everyone to bf.

tiktok · 22/05/2007 13:06

Aw, seamonster, that's so sad.

Have you thought about complaining, not just about the lack of bf help and support, but about the way they made you feel?

seamonster · 22/05/2007 13:12

It's too late, it was about 5 yrs ago now, although the midwife who didn't pick up on the problem I was trying to point out to her no longer works, and it wasn't long after that she left. I have managed with dd (no.3) and intend to do the same with no4 so it's not all bad news. I just know how it feels to be let down (twice) by the experts and then have them tell me off.

Hels67 · 22/05/2007 13:16

I too ended up ff, Seamonster, and for a while felt very guilty for not being able to bf my DD - until I felt the guilt was helping no-one. I also received very negative vibes (if not direct comments) from the HVs and while out with DD I'm always envious of those mums who can put their DC to the breast, while I faff with the formula. If there is a next time, it will be very different.

DUSTIN · 22/05/2007 13:42

I had problems bf feel that the midwives and HV need more training in this field. I kept being told that DS was latching on ok by 5 different midwives but obviously wasn't as I was as sore as hell!! It was not until a week after the birth that I was shown how to get DS latched on properly. Friends have had similiar experiences also. No wonder women give up!!

tinymum · 22/05/2007 14:11

You can get sore anyway though, even if your baby is latching on properly. I wish someone had told me that because I always thought I was 'doing it wrong'. Eventually the soreness passed but I was tempted to give up at this stage because I thought 'surely breastfeeding shouldn't hurt? Must be getting something badly wrong'. But my nipples just wern't used to it. I got sore next time too but I knew it would pass so I wasn't worried.

Chocolatepenny · 22/05/2007 21:19

I am Bf feeding OK,But why not give up if it doesn't work for you? millions of babys are bottle fed all are just fine. Surely that was her core point? the Breast Bullies are not needed in this day and age get back under your Daily mails.

tiktok · 23/05/2007 00:59

Chocolatepenny, what if mothers don't want to give up? What if they planned to breastfeed and feel very distressed if it is painful, ineffective, or their baby is unable to latch?

How helpful is it for someone to say 'oh, well, bottle feed, then, lots of other babies are bottle fed'?

Is it not better to offer help to fix the breastfeeding, to enable the mother to feed the baby the way she planned to?

nappyaddict · 23/05/2007 01:42

do all hospitals have breastfeeding counsellors? i had a right old game trying to breastfeed. i didnt have a clue what to do. took me months to get it right and then i had to give up after all that.

tiktok · 23/05/2007 09:36

Nappy, I would say that very few hospitals have brestfeeding counsellors. A few have a specialist feeding adviser or the equivalalent, but most have no one with specialist skills at all, and it is expected existing staff have the training and experience needed...which is not unreasonable, as it's fundamental, after all. But as we see from posts to mumsnet, mothers are often left struggling

tinymum · 23/05/2007 09:45

Why are people who try and promote breastfeeding labelled 'breast bullies?' It seems sometimes that some women feel breastfeeding should not be promoted because its not what THEY want to do.

I agree some health professionals can come accross as bossy but thats just their personality and could be applied to any advice they give.

If women are encouraged to breastfeed and given all the support and information they need then surely this is a good thing. If there is no way a woman can physically breastfeed (very rare) or doesn't want to then so be it, theres always formula, but theres no point in pretending formula is anything but an inferior substitute.

Oh, and I don't read the Daily Mail LOL

nappyaddict · 23/05/2007 09:51

i thought they all did. i have just made friends with a girl who has a 15 week baby. she feels like such a failure cos she had to give up at 3 weeks. the mw told her his latch was fine but it wasn't - he was feeding constantly cos he wasn't filling up. the mw signed up off somewhere in week 2 and the hv didn't take over for another 2 weeks. during that time she gave up

i told her the same thing happened to me but thanks to mumsnet i found out about la leche and nct and got the help i needed to carry on.

its a shame she wasn't given that information.

LongDistanceClara · 23/05/2007 09:54

"the Breast Bullies are not needed in this day and age get back under your Daily mails."

Ha ha - I think one thing you can be sure of is women who support bfeeding don't read that shite

tiktok · 23/05/2007 10:03

It is a real shame, nappy....breastfeeding is pretty strong physically when it gets going, but it can be quite fragile in other ways, as confidence just dwindles without support and good info.

Yes, your pal could have got info about the volunteer groups, and it might well have helped.

The real answer is to have midwives and HVs giving consistent, unbroken support to all who need it.

There are 450,00 women who start to breastfeed every year, and only a few hundred breastfeeding counsellors, mainly working voluntarily, so we can't plug all the gaps

In some parts of the country, there are peer supporters and bf support groups, and they can be great as well, especially for boosting confidence.

Hopeitwontbebig · 23/05/2007 10:26

tinymum - I was (I'll call it) terribly bullied to breast feed by midwives when I was in hospital, but given NO support whatsoever, they just kept coming round telling me to keep trying, but they didn't sit and help me at all. My DS1 was 10lb 10oz, it was a posterior labour, I had a really bad tear and as soon as I attempted to bf my nipples started to bleed. I was so miserable.

I am really determined to give it another go this time, I'm expecting a baby in September.

I think the professionals that are labelled as bullies are like the one's I had experiences with. Unfortunately at the time I didn't know where I could get more support. But at the same time, I felt so so put off bf by the treatment I was given by the mw's. It became a negative thing in my mind.

Thank goodness for mumsnet. I will make sure I have the laptop nearby when (and if) I'm struggling this time!!

tinymum · 23/05/2007 10:33

I do know what you mean, Hopeitwontbebig. When I was in hospital last time, after having my baby the girl opposite me had just given birth and was only about sixteen. He baby cried constantly, she was having alot of problems breastfeeding and the staff just kept telling her to keep trying, even though she didn't know what to do. And they were not helping her, I felt so sorry for her. In the end I went over to her and helped her myself. That is bullying.

But we must be careful not to consider anyone promoting breastfeeding, or who is being honest about the benefits, as a bully. I have seen this happen too. Because breastfeeding can turn out to be such a wonderful experience for alot of women, I suppose sometimes their enthusiasm can come accross as a bit evanjelical, but mostly its just because they have overcome problems and come out the other side, and want to pass that on to other people. Thats not bullying.

Sorry you had such a bad experience last time and I hope that doesn't spoil it for you in the future.

smallwhitecat · 23/05/2007 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Hopeitwontbebig · 23/05/2007 10:38

tinymum, it's a shame you weren't in hospital with me at the time!! I was young when I had DS1, I was only 21. I'll be 32 this time, so hopefully a bit more assertive now!

I do know what you mean though about people being wrongly labelled as bullies for promoting bf, that is a shame. It's interesting isn't it, that UK has such a high failure rate in comparison to other countries. I wonder what the difference is?

I truly hope to succeed this time. I have to admit, I am nervous. I'm booked in to deliver in Oxford, fantastic hospital, but they have a reputation for not giving fantastic aftercare due to staff shortages. So I'm a bit concerned that the same thing is going to happen again. Any tips to avoid?

tinymum · 23/05/2007 12:00

Try not to worry is the best tip I think. Its sensible to assume there will be some problems, most people have them. I found the best way to establish breastfeeding was to feed as often as possible (even with the sore nipples....ouch) and sod the housework. Its normal for breastfed babies to want to feed alot especially at night. I snatched sleep when I could (not easy when you have other DC I know). When I had cracked nipples I used to expose them to the air alot, found that helped.

Its so hard in the early days but it does get so much easier and enjoyable.

Hopeitwontbebig · 23/05/2007 12:03

Thanks tiny x

tinymum · 23/05/2007 12:07

Beware of the exposed nipples part. Don't forget to cover them up when you answer the door. (gulp)

Hopeitwontbebig · 23/05/2007 12:18

PMSL

Flip

1 2