My son was diagnosed with a cleft palate at birth so he had a lot of bottles and milk squeezed into his mouth in the neonatal period. However despite being told he couldnt due to no suction and we could only put him to the breast for comfort, he seemed to be able to breastfeed so I went along to my local breastfeeding clinic since he was 1 week old for help with getting the most possible out of any suckling he could do. We were advised to express 3-4 times a day to protect supply as his suction would be weak and as he was doing ok in the weight gsin department we dropped his supplementary bottles to 1 a day. At 3 weeks old we went to see the cleft surgeon and it turned out he didnt have a cleft. We immediately stopped the bottles and I reduced the frequency of pumping by a lot. I was delighted as i thought there was now nothing that would mean he couldnt exclusively breastfeed as long as we both wanted.
I don't think he ever had a fsntastic latch but I tolerated it because it wasnt causing pain and at the time I thought he was unable to do better because of his cleft (that he doesnt have!).
At around 5 weeks he started shallowing his latch a bit in the middle of feeds. He is now 8 weeks and I cant get him to latch on anything other than very shallowly at all. This is now causing a lot of nipple pain on my right side. Ive not been able to let him complete his feedings and come off on his own recently (whuch is horrible and makes me sad and feedings stressful) as he moves to nipple sucking with a mouth thats hardly open at all (even worse than his shallow latch) at some point during the feed and it is uncomfortable. He wont then attempt to relatch.
Other things:
He was gaining weight well with yellow poo but has had a persistent case of nappy rash since a week old. This week most of his poos have been quite green and he has been unsettled
He dribbles a lot
He feeds every 1-2 hours during the day and has a 3-4 hour stretch at night
He clicks sometimes when he has a better latch (usually on the left side).
I dont think he is emptying the breasts efficiently although they are a bit softer after feeds (with compressions)
Some feeds are better than others
Things Ive tried:
Breastfeeding clinic every week
Private consultation with an IBCLC
Breast sandwich (he screams and pulls away immediately if I get more breast tissue in his mouth)
Flipple
Biological nurturing
Allowing self latching
Different positions
Cranial osteopathy
He opens his mouth wide for the latch (although his tongue is not always down) but closes it right away. The breastfeeding clinic have seen this twice and were unable to help me to stop it. They said I was doing the attachment correctly but he preferred the shallow latch.
I have been told he has a high palate which could be impacting on this.
I feel like feeding is taking over my life at thr moment and Im at a loss what to do now to try and fix this issue. With the green poo the fact he is not settling well plus the nipple pain (I saw where a small layer of skin has been rubbed off today) I am finding it really hard to carry on breastfeeding even though I was sure it was what I wanted. There just doesnt seem to be anyone who can suggest any way to fix this that works. The most recent thing I was told was just to wait for him to grow out of it, but I cant see how this will ever happen, especially as he refuses the deeper latch.
I really wanted to breastfeed him but Im feeling like I cant go on much longer as I dread every feed and dont feel like Im interested in anything else. I dont even feel hungry any more and I dont want to go out as attempting to feed him in public is too stressful. Any help or advice at all would be so appreciated.