Breast feeding! Help needed!

[Sameen1]

Hi!
My baby is currently 2 months and 22 days old and I've been mix feeding her from day 1. It was 50/50 uptill now like if I breastfeed her 3 times a day she goes on the bottle 3 times a day aswell but now in the last few days she's been screaming and cying horribly whenever I try to breastfeed her and don't even put the nipple in her mouth, it's extremly frustrating to watch and makes me feel awful like I'm starving her so I have to give her the bottle after giving up trying to feed her. Also I've tried expressing and got absolutely nothing. I'm very upset because I desperately want to brestfeed her.
Please give me some advice what should I do?

I’m sure people more knowledgeable than me will be along soon..... but I do know that around three months babies are said to have a growth spurt and be hungrier than usual. So keep offering the breast as often as you can. Persevere; once she gets latched and sucking, the milk will flow she will be comforted. The more she sucks, the more milk is made; it’s the only way to boost supply. (And although you say you “desperately want to breastfeed her”, everytime you give her a bottle instead, you’re asking your supply to decline). There are times when breastfeeding is wearing and time consuming, but you have to accept this as part and parcel; most of the time, it is quicker and easier than making up bottles.
If you had no alternative, you would have to make breastfeeding work (my belief is that many British women who set out wanting to breastfeed set themselves up to fail by getting bottles in “just in case”)

( I didn’t mean to sound harsh in that last sentence; it’s not critical of you; just that it’s a pattern that I’ve seen with friends again and again. )

For me this issue was caused by the pace of bottle v breast.. you need to do paced bottle feeding and persevere with the breastfeeds if you want to keep feeding...this was my most challenging time but I got the feeds back (I had started pumping 6x daily so he could have bm with bottle). In hindsight i should have persevered through the fussiness and resistance. Get him before really hungry when he's relaxed Inc Drea
M feed (you might not do this tho). The bottle flow is faster and easier.

Have you tried dream feeding to start her off. Might take the stress out of it.

Before your milk supply is matching what your baby needs, expressing is only there to stimulate your boobs to make more milk, so try not to focus on how much is coming out (although that's really difficult!). Every time you bottle feed you need to express so your body knows it needs to up the supply, if you can bare it, 2-3am is meant to be the best time . As a pp said try different bottles/teats to slow the flow down as babies JUST WANT MILK NOW so may start to show bottle preference. It's time consuming & hard work, but your body will up the supply if it's given the right signals & you're looking after your self as much as you can. Good luck OP

Sorry i didn't have much time earlier.

Yes get a bottle with a slower valve to match boobs.

Also I found expressing soul destroying and even with 2 different hospital grade pumps and professional support I couldn't express much via a pump. Hand expressing was the best option for me. I hated it though.

You are doing so well, it does get easier and if you keep going it saves time and money as well as being good for them (not that formula isn't good). I loved the simplicity of it once it worked. Have you tried feeding laying down. My favourite for night time and morning feeds especially if you have a bedside cot, no need to even sit up.

Do you have any breastfeeding support groups near you? They are so kind and helpful.

This sounds very upsetting
I suspect this is a milk supply issue, I'm afraid. If you've been mix feeding from day 1 and are only breastfeeding 3 times a day, that's simply not enough to maintain a supply. To put it simply, this was always going to catch up with you - I'm actually impressed you made it as far as 2 and a half months feeding like this.
There are ways to relactate which will involve a lot of pumping and determination - it's best to seek expert advice for help with this.
Good luck.

Yeh I think I should try paced bottle feeding now and start pumping more often throughout the day. How much time did it took you to get the feeds back? And did he latched on properly afterwards? Sounds like you did a lotttt of hardwork.
Thanks for your post hun 😊

Not sure if you're referring to me OP but yes I got every one back but eventually gave a bottle at bedtime feed-around 7m, and fed on until 13m, second time round didn't bother with bottles at all and it was a dream. I did that pumping for too long... probably 7/8 weeks before I got them all back but early morning, sleepy feed after a nap, dream and night feeds were the ones I got quickest when he was relaxed, and I then relaxed! Tbh it was a make or break time for me and I was certain I wasn't giving up, made me realise how important it was to me. Best of luck.

If this is a milk supply issue how should I increase my supply? I've tried fenugreek tablets but they don't seem to work. Do you think she is fussing coz the milk is not coming much?

I think once you're eating plenty and drinking lots of water, stimulation is feeding is what's needed to up it... I sometimes used a soother to calm baby and then transferred to breast that way..

Frequency of feeding / expressing is as important as volume it maintain supply. By alternating bottles, your breasts go twice as long between been emptied so are triggered to stop producing as much milk.

Could you make smaller bottles and offer breast as well at every feed? Start of giving bottle first so baby's not as hungry when latching, then if you can increase supply with pumping, change to boob first so baby getting maximum breast milk.

Unfortunately keeping up mix feeding long term is a lot harder then fully bf, as your boobs get mix messages. So you might need to access feeding support groups is you have any locally.

Hi, Sameen.....previous posters have it spot on. Mix feeding which begins early on and which has this much formula in the 'mix' does not work long term, and unfortunately this is not explained to people.

50/50 breast & bottle is nowhere near enough to establish breastfeeding....I mean, it's not that it is 'not quite sufficient', it really is setting up breastfeeding to dwindle away to nothing and it's amazing you have kept up any supply at all. In fact, that's good news, as it means you still have a basis for increasing your supply.

If you want to continue breastfeeding, you need to take action immediately. You can call any of the bf helplines, and you can also google 'relactation' for a protocol on how to bring your milk supply up....this will mean feeding on both breasts as often as you possibly can, in addition to using formula. You may be able to gradually reduce the formula when your breastmilk supply increases.

Fenugreek is irrelevant, as is eating and drinking - they may have a marginal effect at best, but will have no effect at all unless you are working on bringing back supply by frequent, effective breastfeeding (usually at least 8-10 times a day, on at least both breasts each time).

If your baby refuses the breast, then you need to express.

Good luck!

Sameen, taking fenugreek won't make any difference. If you want to continue breastfeeding, you will need to start an intensive expressing and feeding regime in order first to salvage and then build back up what supply you have left.
Getting expert, one to one help to do this will be key and it would be great if you could make it a priority as you really are up against the clock now.
Do you know where to access support?

Thank you for your valuable advice everyone, really appreciate it!
So I've ordered the slow teats now and have started pumping about 5 6 times a day but I'm not getting anything except a few drops. Should I still continue pumping this aggresively even if I don't get anything at all?

I'm looking for a lactation consultant near me aswell for one to one help

Sometime even people with a really good supply are unable to pump effectively, so don't worry, it's not an indication of how much milk you have. The stimulation will still be helping, although removing some milk (even just a little bit) would be better. Have you tried hand expressing? some people find this more effective.

Alternatively just offer the breast to baby, if she's between feeds so not hungry she'll probably take some. Much like if you or I were offered chocolate between meals we'd happily eat it, but if given a mars bar instead of lunch we'd be a bit mift.

Good luck with finding a consultant, I think good one to one support will really help.

Sameen, it's good you're taking action :)

I'll repeat - Google relactation.

Yes, continue expressing. If your baby is not BF at all, 5-6 sessions with the pump is not enough, though.

Hope it works out for you.

Have you tried hand expressing? As I mentioned I got next to no milk on pumps but more through hand expressing.

Good luck.

May I ask why you are combo feeding (I have no problem with this and suggest it to friends who are thinking of giving up Bfing as an option)? If it's so you get a break the expressing might be taking away that break time anyway...just a thought.

Thinking positively once you have your supply up you could reduce to one bottle a day (maybe so you can express and get an early night) even use formula and then breastfeed the rest of the time. Expressing when your body finds it hard is so emotionally as well as physically hard.

You are doing an amazing job what ever happens so don't be tough on yourself

Yes I did try hand pumping and it's pretty much the same as it is with the pump 😕

I did googled relactation and read alot about it, found some useful bit of info from the website called kellymom, thank you for suggesting it😊

I started combo feeding for a number of reasons firstly I was very ill just after giving birth, secondly we had some issues going on with my husbands family as because I live with my in laws so couldn't manage to exclusively breastfeed her and thirdly I never knew it wouldn't work long term I was unaware of that. I regret it badly now I wish I would have never started the bottle.

I contacted the breast feeding support team and a lady from the team visited me today for one to one support and she was amazing, told me to start paced bottle feeding and pumping about 8 to 10 times a day for now. She will review in a few days again and then advice the next step. I'm hoping to remain determined and positive now.

Thanks a ton for all your advices ladies 😙

Oh I'm delighted for you. Support is everything. Good on you now and good luck. You can do it!

Oh and because you don't seem to have mentioned it @Sameen1

Keep offering boob to baby as well as pumping. They are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better at extracting milk than a pump is and there is a feedback with their saliva too

Set an alarm for pumping at night. Sounds harsh but prolactin levels are higher

FWIW, my 11mo is still on size 1 teats with his one or two bottles a week as I mostly BF.

Also, google 'power pumping'. What pump are you using? Bear in mind hiring a double electric one and that highest setting doesn't necessarily give most milk

Maybe look into supplemental nursing systems