Breastfeeding is so stressful!

[ThaiRedCurry]

My DS2 is only one week old and I already feel like giving up breastfeeding. He was awake nearly all night on and off feeding and again has been cluster feeding all morning. I'm drained. Is formula feeding any less stressful at this age, or will I find that he still will be up all night?
I want the best for him, but an unhappy mummy isn't the best mummy

Oh it is so difficult, especially at this early stage. If you bf your first though you'll know it gets soooooo much easier? Have you considered combi feeding? I really suffered with terrible exhaustion with DS1 so think next time I'll introduce one bottle of formula a day from early on. I know it's not recommended but I do know a few people who've done it successfully from day one. You know your supply so if you think a combi method would work give it a go?

I hope you've got lots of support. I didn't and that made it so much harder than it needed to be!

Well done though, you've obviously been slogging it out so far, which I think, unfortunately is often what it takes to breastfeed successfully

I would agree that one formula bottle a day helps. DH would take DD for her last feed before bed and I would go to sleep early. It meant that when she woke at 10.30 i’d Had 4 hours sleep first and could cope better with the rest of the night.

It's very tough to start, I don't know a single person who didn't feel like giving up in those early days. I remember feeling like giving up so many times in the first couple of weeks but then someone said to me ’never give up on a bad day’ and that sort of struck something in me and I kept going and after a few weeks was very glad I did. That's sage advice for any time really - it's kept me going at work a few times too!

I don't have experience of formula feeding but some of my friends who have done have demeaned the huge amount of sterlising of bottles that at 3 am in the morning isnt much fun.

I think in the early weeks there probably isn't much difference in terms of how much sleep or rest you’ll get as they are growing at the rate of knots so feeding very frequently anyway and their tummired are so small so they cant take loads in at one feed.

So my advice is ’don't give up on a bad day’ and although its super hard, you're doing amazing. It gets better which ever route you go down so there is light at the end of that tunnel!

The 'work' with breastfeeding is front loaded. Very intense in the first 6 weeks.

The 'work' with formula is consistent throughout the first 12 months.

I always think that feeding, either way, is one thing no-one warns you about. They talk about the sleepless nights of pacing around trying to settle the baby but never about sitting there having the last tiny bit of energy you have being sucked out of you while your partner snores, or standing around waiting for the kettle to boil, waiting for water to cool, holding the screaming, hungry baby while feeling like it's all your fault for not anticipating their need for milk half an hour after they had their last feed & getting everything ready before they got upset...

This phase is hard, no matter how you choose to feed. Whether they co-sleep or are in another room. Swaddled or blankets. Front or back. Sometimes you find the right combination that makes things a bit easier but it's always an adjustment for you and the baby.

But it does get easier. Their bellies get bigger so they can go longer between feeds. Their mouths get bigger, their technique improves, your nipples toughen up a bit & your supply settles which makes breastfeeding easier. Everything does get easier. I'm on DC3 & always found the first 2 weeks the hardest. By 6w things seemed much more manageable & by 12w we'd mostly cracked it. Hang in there!

The first 6 weeks are tough but tbh, the first 6 weeks of having a newborn are hard and you don’t get much sleep no matter how they are fed.

I’ve no experience with formula as my DD was EBF. I do know my friend who has supplemented since her baby was born but has a very low supply now due to this.

Another one saying it does get much much easier. Hang on in there! I personally wouldn't introduce a bottle yet as it could muck up your supply, but if you have lots of milk and are desperate you could try.

Keep going! It's very hard in the first few weeks but I would say if you can keep going for 5 weeks you will find it easier after that. It's very draining and sometimes you feel like all they want to do is feed feed feed but that's good for your supply. I'm still bf my 18month old before bed. He's my second and last and don't want to give it up!

Thank you everyone for your messages. I don't think it helps I have a one year old that also needs a lot of attention!
I want to hang on feeding and not give up because of a bad day. X

Definitely gets easier! If you can put the work in now, it'll pay dividends further down the line. DS now only has one night feed and as we co-sleep I barely have to wake up. We just sort of shuffle towards each other and he feeds. I found it hard and stressful to begin with but now I am so happy I decided to stick with it

Honestly, yes I think it's easier. I know that annoys some people, but as a straight answer to your question, yes I found it easier.

Night feeds were every 3 hours ish (though with a 6-7 hour stretch by 6 weeks (and night feeds took about 15 mins each). They can also be shared. It says very rare in the first few months that I didn't get at least 6-7 hours sleep a night, albeit not uninterrupted.

And all the talk about the faff of making up bottles in the night - you can either make them up in advance (it's not the NHS reccomended way, but the WHO say it's fine, and it's what a lot of people do), or use ready made at night.

That's not to say you should stop breastfeeding. That's a very personal decision, and if you want to continur, most people do find it gets easier eventually. You need to do whats right for you and your family. Don't discount the idea of mix feeding though, as a middle ground.

Hi all. Just to let you know he seems to be a lot more settled last night and today only feeding every 1 to 2 hours. I'm wondering if he wasn't feeling great yesterday and he was using me just for comfort. We will see.
@Sleeplikeasloth thank you for writing that down for me. I'm not going to feel guilty if I decide to stop in the near future and I will defiantly be making my bottles up!

Do you have a partner who can help? My dh would put our dd to bed then come down and relieve me. He would take ds and wear him in a wrap and watch tv or sometimes just walk around the house for a few hours. It meant I could get at least one sold 3-4 hour block of sleep. Even if he was up the rest of the night feeding, that bit of sleep in the evening helped. Even if he has to take him out and drive around in the car to let you sleep.

To answer your question though, bf is hard to start, but my first was bottle fed from 6 weeks and 2nd has been fully bf. Bottle feeding is definitely harder and more work. But the early weeks are tough when you’re bf. Just hang in there. It does get easier soon. But get as much support as you can to catch up on sleep whenever possible.

The first few months are a massive growth spurt. Formula feeding allows you to share the load & mixed feeding is a great compromise imo. Just pick one or two times of the day when your dh gives a bottle and you sleep

Also, please don’t quote a specific time for it to get easier!! I stopped at 6 weeks because it was still just me, up all night on my own... every baby gets better at different times.

By 6 mo, when I thought I'd start combination feeding, it was easy enough, especially at night, that bar the afternoon a week when I work, I'm still BF at 11 mo and am on the 'well, get to a year as then we don't need to bother with formula or bottles and maybe try and get him to have some cows milk for a couple of drinks if he still wants them' sort of plan