Breastfeeding help! Ftm about to break

[Cemkg123]

My baby girl is 2 weeks old, first baby.
I decided to try breastfeeding as I was told that is best and there's alot of support for it, even though nobody in my family or friends have breastfed.
So just over 2 weeks in and my nipples are very sore, not constantly but this is the second time they've become incredibly painful to the point I want to cry. I don't think baby is latching on properly, I've spoken to 2 different midwives about it and the health visitor and all of which didn't really help. One said it looks like she's slipping down the nipple once she's comfy and to just re-attach when she does this but it's not working. She's also constantly feeding/wanting my nipple in her mouth. I've tried a dummy twice but she just spits it out.
Im also scared to actually persevere with the dummy incase I miss feeding cues, because she is contanstly wanting to be attached to me I don't actually know her routine of feeding. Which also scares me to try expressing and using a bottle, as I just don't know for sure when she feeds. Usually the one in the morning and one at night are the longest so I guess that's 2 feeding times I know of?
But I feel I can't do anything, like go out or housework because she cries to be fed or comforted every 15 mins. I'm also not sleeping because she won't go in her crib, only really sleeps on my chest so I'm too scared to sleep incase I roll over.
She's also started grunting and pulling at my nipple while feeding, and when ice googled it, it gives me like 10 different reasons why she could be doing it which isn't really any help. And she chokes alot and coughs during most feeds.
I don't know how long I can take this, I'm getting frustrated, it's hurting and I feel like a failure if I give up.
Anybody have any advice? Should I express and use a bottle for some feeds? Should I persevere with a dummy? She's puttin on weight. She gained 11 oz in 6 days. I just don't know what to do and the professionals don't seem to be much help
Sorry for the long post!

Congratulations on your new arrival :)
If she's putting on weight then enough is getting in to her so you can relax a little bit. I appreciate that's easy to say
At 2 weeks she doesn't know her routine yet, any better than you do.You're both shell shocked by delivery etc, and she should starting to get over her arrival 'jetlag' soon.
I didn't realise how far my toes could curl when I fed DC1, but it does get better. I'm sorry I can't remember when but he is 11 now
Does your local children's centre have a breastfeeding support group? Maybe google NCT or La Lache League - both of which offer breastfeeding advice and support
You can start to express if you're worried about your supply, but I'd wait a little longer before introducing her to bottles in case of nipple confusion.
As far as sleeping goes, once I tried swaddling DC1 it was like a magic switch! I still slept in a chair downstairs for 2 nights, but at least he slept swaddled in his chair, not on me! And then we progressed to going to bed :D
Good luck, and remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question, keep asking

Also in the beginning they feed from you a lot. Sometimes frequently or cluster feeding. It's normal before 6 weeks, I remember my 1st I felt like I never got off the sofa it was that frequent.
After 6 weeks it gets better I promise you.
Also your nipples will get better and harden up, there is a cream you can get.
The fact she's putting on weight is a brilliant sign. Sounds like you're doing well.
Personally I wouldn't bother with the dummy.

Ahhh she's two weeks old she doesn't have a feeding routine yet other than she wants to eat when she is hungry. Which is pretty much all the time because their stomachs are tiny and fill and empty quickly. Just remember you are both learning at the same time.

She's putting on weight so you don't need to worry how much she is getting. She will be getting enough.

So on to the sore nipples. Are you using nipple cream? You want to be putting it on before and after every feed, and any time you remember in between. Also remember that breastfeeding can be like wearing in a new pair of shoes, you get that painful rub at first but after you've worn them for a bit they become really comfortable and you forget they ever hurt. For most people with breastfeeding this is around the 2-3 week point.

Nothing you have described sounds like you or your dd are doing anything particularly wrong, so if you want to carry on just carry on as you are. I think it is a shock for a lot of people just how much newborns want to feed but it is very normal don't worry.

This is normal! Babies that little just don’t have routines, they don’t know day from night, they do want feeding and comfort all the time. You are just a bit of a slave to them in the early days, you need to lower your expectations of what else you can get done. Look up the 4th trimester, you might find it helpful.
If she’s putting on weight it sounds like she’s doing ok. I know it’s hard but you’re on the right track, it’ll get easier

The slipping off the nipple and choking make me think she could have a tongue tie. What shape are your nipples after a feed?

Well done for getting to 2 weeks. I promise you, you've done the hard bit and you'll find that once you've turned a corner pain and cluster-feeding wise, you'll find you settle into a groove and I honestly think you'll love it. I had that toe-curling phase for 2 weeks with all 3 of my kids and I really don't think there's much you can do to avoid it. I never wanted to attempt to re-latch them as it was the latching on in the first place that would be so painful. You're both learning but any day now it'll click and you'll be away. As for routine, I don't think there can be one at this stage. Just go with the flow and feed whenever she wants it. The cluster feed to get your milk supply up so what's she's doing is perfectly normal. If I ever needed a break and I was confident that mine weren't hungry but still wanting to suck, I'd let them suck on my little finger. Around 11 weeks they found their thumbs. Mine never wanted dummies either. You're doing great. Don't doubt yourself.

Oh and I forgot to add it does generally start getting easier and easier in general from now on.

I think the 2 week point is hard for lots of new mums as suddenly all the hype from family and friends dies down, the midwives stop coming, partners often go back to work and suddenly you are 'just' a mum with a baby rather than a new mother and you are left to get on with it a bit.

Suddenly you start doubting yourself, but honestly, you are doing fine.

If you are able, get the number of a private breastfeeding support person - you should be able to find one online or find a local doula, they'll know who to ask. You need someone for whom this is their bread and butter. They can come to your house. I had someone lined up when I was pregnant and she came over in the early days. It was fantastic. Like you, my baby was putting on weight etc, I just needed some reassurance.

But yeah, it is really fucking painful in the early days.

(My son fed A LOT. What you are describing is normal. It is only 2 weeks in. Forget the housework for now and just try to keep the essentials ticking over until you're more in the swing of things).

And congratulations.

I must have asked every professional I could of about my baby’s latch as my nipples bled every single feed. They all said it looked great and I remember feeling how you describe.

I would feed constantly from 4pm until 2am. I honestly thought it would never end. The pain really shocked me because no one really tells you about it.

I’ve no real advice because things like pumping and giving a bottle, I think, hindered us further and I gave up after 3 months of no improvement. Mine was probably starving from a diet of lanolin cream as that was literally how much I was slathering on before a feed.

One thing I would recommend would be to get everything ready to go out just before a feed, feed her and then as soon as she’s finished, pop her in a sling/pram/car seat and get some fresh air. Stay close to home if you’re nervous about her getting hungry again. I felt miles better after just getting outside for a bit.

My nipples are lipstick shaped when she comes off so I know the latch isn't right, but like someone already experienced, midwives and health visitors have watched me feeding and said that everything looks great and I'm doing everything right... and that's all they really say. They agree that my latch is wrong cos of the shape of my nipple when she's finished, but they don't offer any valuable advice on how to change it.
I've been out, and it was fine, I found a place to sit when she cried and breast fed her. I feed her before we leave and then she's usually ok for 2 hours but sometimes she'll wake up before this, or after the 2 hours she'll wake up and then I have to feed her every 15 mins basically.
I know it's still early days, but I've not slept more than 3 hours since 3 days before she was born because I was induced and in hospital for 3 days before she came. And that is interuppted sleep.
I was hoping some feedback on introducing a bottle for one feed a day at least, just so I could maybe catch up on some sleep while my mum watched her.
I'm a single mum so I don't have a partner to take any of the edge off any aspect of parenting. Not that I'm complaining, I love her and that we will have a great bond... I'm just tired and when I'm tired I get frustrated easily. I just don't want to be moody towards her because of my tiredness.

Dammit just lost my message. Will try again over a few different posts.
The first 6 weeks are establishing yoyr supply so introducing a bottle will affect that. However if you only give a bottle at one time of day and stick to the same amount ypur supply will fit around the rest of the feeds.
Cluster feeding is what gets ypur supply up. It's hellish but it's normal and us what is meant to happen. The late afternoons/evenings/early hours of tge night are when cluster feeding typically takes place. It can last for hpurs and hours. It's hellish but it gets better.

Do you hear clicking when she feeds? I think it would be a good idea to get her checked for tongue tie. Your experiebce sounds similar to ours - lipstick shaped nipples, on constantly, putting on weight, baby slipping off to the nipple in feeds and pain. Lots of pain.
It doesn't matter what the latch looks like, its how it feels and if it hurts then its not right.

With positioning, you want nose to nipple and baby shouldnt be too far across ypu. Face shouldn't be at the front of the boob, it should be to the side, if that makes sense. Probably not.
I reccomend you ring the national breastfeeding helpline for better advi

For the sore nipples get lasinoh moist healing lanolin- it’s the best I’ve tried.

Better advice and get a lactatiom consultant out for useful advice. Midwives abd health visitors aren't bthat knowledabke about feeding, as evidence by them not giving you any decent advice.
It will get eas

It will get easier, but you need decent face to face support. Good luck and sorry for the multiple posts. Blame my poxy phone.

I agree with all the advice here!

I thought something was wrong with my first baby because she would feed for hours. Now after having my second baby I realise it was all normal. It’s much too early for any routine so just give your baby lots of cuddles, put your feet up and get the telly on and let her have lots of feeds.

The pain won’t last but I realise that may seem hard to believe right now! Definitely get the nipple cream on and also make sure your entire nipple is in baby’s mouth. It’s the rubbing on your nipple that causes the pain.

Also something I didn’t really get until my second baby is that breastfeeding is so much easier when you are in a relaxed position, so lean back and make yourself as comfy as you can. For some reason breastfeeding mums in pictures always seem to be sitting up straight but that’s the hardest way to do it. Learning to feed while lying down on my side was like a revelation. Even if you don’t sleep it is at least restful and a lovely cuddle for baby. There are videos and pictures of lying down breastfeeding on the internet.

You are doing an amazing job and I have huge respect given you’re doing this as a single Mum. Hang in there as it will get easier. Sending big hugs.

Also with my first baby I did persevere with a dummy as my nipples needed a break. It didn’t upset feeding so I wouldn’t worry about that. Your baby will still let you know when hungry but I wouldn’t leave it more than three hours between feeds for a newborn.

Friends of mine have benefitted from:
Breastfeeding consultants
Having several checks on tongue tie until it was detected
Cranial therapy

I was told by a midwife if I made it to 6 weeks and had issues to worry then! I know that's not much help but know you're not alone, it's very tough and it can and mostly does I think get better but don't feel pressure to keep going if you want to FF.

They feed constantly, just don't stress about housework etc. Get a good box set. - butt load of chocolate and settle in. Best advice I was given.

But Lanisoh (sp) nipple cream it's amazing and eventually they toughen up. It's a lie that the right latch means no pain. BF hurts first time it just does.

Learn the nipple flick ITS AMAZING and every time she slips down take her off (break the suck with a finger) and nipple flick back on again. I'll try and find the YouTube video.

Best thing your mum can do is watch you sleep. Ex DH with my DD who refused to be put down just let me fall asleep with her on me and stayed up watching films to make sure I didn't roll on her while I slept with her on a comfy chair.

Learn safe co-sleeping, so long and you don't drink, smoke or are obese it's fine and EVERY parents even bottle feeding ones (I bottle fed my first) dozes off feeding and it's better to prep for if you do than do it accidentally. I learnt that by DC 3.

Finally if all of the above ^^^ fail and it's making you hate parenting then dump it and move to bottle. Happy mum is most important there is no "failure" here.

Called the flipple technique

Sounds like you're doing really well OP and there is some good advice here. If you don't have a partner I would persevere with BF if you can as you don't want to be faffing with bottles in the night and you'll be doing all the feeds. Don't worry about housework, perhaps your Mum can walk LO in the pram while you nap?

DD had a similar latch when she was small. She wasn't tongue tied but was a very small baby. My BF who's a midwife / premature specialist abroad (western European country) advised to use nipple shields, which really helped with the soreness. It also forced DD to take much more of the nipple into her mouth, and I stopped using them after a few weeks. Breastfed for about a year without any other issues in the end.
Friend also said that as nipple shields can negatively impact supply, I had to express after every feed - 5min on, 5min off, 3min on, 3min off, 1min on, 1min off.

They use this technique with premature babies in my home country with good results.