I really want to stop breastfeeding. Please help!

[anothernamechanged]

DD2 is nearly 2. She is still breastfed and often when she is with me. She was born at 33 weeks and she's still very little. Also, her Dad and I separated when she was 7 months and I was happy to let her continue feeding on demand when she's with me as I felt it gave her comfort. But now, my milk has reduced a lot and whenever I'm away from her for the weekend my nipples get very sore and chapped. It makes feeding agony when she comes back. She also fiddles and pokes my nipples and that is very painful. When she's not with me - with her Dad, or my parents or at nursery - she's completely fine. She has 2 bottles when she's with her Dad, although I've asked him to try giving her milk in cup but he hasn't tried it yet. If anything she works herself up when she's with me because she behaves as though she's completely dependent on breastfeeding when in reality she does just find without it.

I don't know how to tackle this though. It's just me and two DDs. They both still wake in the night so I'm exhausted as it is and if I were to try not feeding her to sleep she'd get more and more cross and I'd get more and more tired. Plus she shares a room with DD1 so she'd most likely wake her. And then we'd all be awake and pissed off!

Does anyone know how I can try to stop breastfeeding?

How does she react if you give her a bottle (as your husband does)? Then after a couple of weeks you could move to using a beaker cup. And gradually reduce the amount of milk you give her each time. With waking at night, have you tried leaving them, rather than immediately going in?
They are very old to be waking at night. I think you may need to accept that there will be some crying for a few nights, while they get used to not going in to them. The same with stopping giving her lots of milk.

She has never taken a bottle from me. I've tried giving her milk in a beaker but she won't take that either.

DD1 is 4 and she still wakes in the night as she has some health problems. She's recently seen her specialist again and they're trying something new so hopefully that will help. She's also been very unsettled by the separation and their Dad has been inconsistent with contact so that unsettles her further.

I don't immediately go to them if they wake but they will get up and come and find me. DD1 especially, with her health problems, really needs to get some decent sleep so I'm loathe to leave DD2 to cry as it would wake DD1. It's just really hard to try to tackle it on my own. I wonder if I should ask my Mum to stay for a few nights so she can at least help out with the night waking if they're disturbing each other.

Could you put the little one in a cot in the lounge for a few nights? Can she climb out of her cot? I think I would be trying cold turkey on the little one, so that she starts to sleep through. I remember doing that with DD when she was about 6 months old. Hopefully just a couple of nights of waking up and crying / calling out for you. If the crying lasts a while, you can go in and say a quiet word, explain that there will be milk in the morning and it's time to sleep. Then leave. And then hopefully she will be sleeping through.

For the milk - nothing at night. During the day, just give a bottle and refuse the breast, however much she protests. Then after she's accepted the bottle for a couple of weeks, start trying the beaker. And start reducing the amount of milk she expects.

I think that at this stage you have to accept that there will be tantrums / crying. But don't give in. After a few days she should accept the new status quo.

I wouldn't add Granny to the mix. They need to get used to how things work just with the 3 of you.

More difficult if she gets out of her cot - you have left this really late, unfortunately. Make it very clear that your breasts have run out of milk, she has to wait till morning to have milk in a bottle. Dress so that she can't get to your breasts.