Advice please! Going back to work and dd WILL NOT take emb!

[cathcart]

In a few weeks time I will be leaving dd with my mil for one and a half days while I work. I have been trying her with ebm since she was 4 weeks old and she is now nearly 15weeks and still refusing. Without chopping and changing too much, I have tried lots of different teats, cups, spouts etc and still had no luck. Even when the milk has been freshly expressed she still spits it out. She ends up screaming and crying and I just can't bear the thought of leaving her to get this upset! DH has tried it too, with me out of the room and she is still not accepting it. There have been two or three occasions when she has accepted the bottle without a fuss, the very first time and more recently when we first used a MAM teat, but every other time has been awful. I'm really starting to worry now as time is running out!

anyone? pretty please? [trembling lip]

bump

We found it really helpful to take DD (a similar refusenik) somewhere really busy and hold her facing the action and just slip the bottle in her mouth so she almost didn't notice it. Sounds extreme I know but it worked for us.
You could maybe try having her facing outwards with music playing or tv on or whatever, just to take her mind of it.
Hope that helps

Not a huge amount of help to give, I'm afraid, but I'm a cm and recently took on a baby who wouldn't take anything other than mum. she is a bit older though, and was started weaning - she took purees from me much better than from her mum, and is now eating fine at home. Obviously her mum was a bit worried about it, but it all worked out fine. She gets a bf first thing in the morning, and as soon as her mum gets her home, and she manages fine through the day. Now eating finger food and purees, but still mostly milk to drink.
I'd suggest giving her a really big feed before you go to work, and maybe can you work shorter days the first few weeks? You may find that she takes a bottle absolutely fine from your mil - she'll soon realise that a different house / carer means different rules. I guess the half day will be fine, she honestly won't starve from having to wait a bit longer for a feed. Maybe be prepared for her to make it up at nights sometimes though, and you might have to sit down at your mil's and feed her there and then!
I'm sure it will all be fine, try not to worry too much. Don't forget to take more breastpads than you think you'll need to work!
(I used to live near cathcart - I'm guessing that's where you are?)

Thanks, I'll check out that haberman bottle and try her facing outwards!
Fromgirders - no, not scottish me! its just a nickname my mum gave me from the sitcom HideHi!
Thanks for your reasurance, I am planning to take d up to mils each week from now until I start work and get mil to try her. It will be a long day at work though - i'll be dropping her off at about 7.30am and picking her up at about 7.00pm! At the moment she is still feeding every 2 - 3 hours so I'm really worrying. I know she won't starve but I just can't bear the thought of her crying and me not being there to comfort her.

still no good - any more ideas anyone?

Have you tried Nuk bottles and teats? They are reputed to be great for bf babies who refuse the bottle. It's all in the shape of the teat, apparently. Latex teats are softer too, more like nipples, better than silicone.

thanks french, yes i've tried these too. i have tried pretty much every teat available with no luck.
does anyone think i should just perevere and just not offer boob at all until she has to take from cup/teat? really don't want to do this as she will just cry and cry but don't know what else to do.

so far dh has tried her both when shes really hungry and crying for milk and just getting hungry when she's still happy. in the case of the latter she ends up crying anyway...

Hi, I'm having a similar problem, my baby is 5 months old and will sometimes take a bottle, but sporadically, and has refused for the past week now. The nursery that he's going to (in 8 weeks) are very reassuring and have come across this before, they don't seem to think it will be a problem but I am still panicking loads. We too have tried various teats, cups, positions and people feeding. One of the things that worked for a while was giving him a mini breast feed or dummy if he refuses the bottle first time and then reoffering it. Not a perfect solution but I figured if it kept him in the habit of sucking on a bottle it was better than nothing. Not working any more though(!) but you might want to try it. Have you also tried bottle feeding in the breast feeding position for your baby? Very uncomfortable for the person feeding but it has sometimes worked for us. I know someone else who was having similar problems and she has found that weaning helped, she thinks that the baby getting used to different textures in her mouth helped. I haven't started weaning yet but will probably try soon so will let you know if we have any luck.
I am going to work half days for the first two weeks back at work (using anual leave to take afternoons off), then if the worst comes to the worst will go and feed him in my lunch break. Any chance you could do this or get your mil to bring him to you at lunch time for a feed? Again not ideal but it might help to lower your stress levels if you have a back up plan. Although you've probably already thought of all this...
Wishing you lots of luck
Tracey

Forgot to say the other thing that has sometimes worked is sitting with the bottle held in front of him so he can see it. He is wanting to put everything in his mouth at the mo, so just waiting for him to open his mouth rather than putting the bottle straight in. Hope this makes sense. Also we've had minor success with a doidy cup, he'll take about 50ml from it.
Good luck!