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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

How do I stop a bf baby wanting night feeds

56 replies

whomovedmychocolate · 15/05/2007 20:16

She's seven months next week, 21.5lbs (98th percentile) and has been feeding at least twice during the night since birth.

Frankly, I'm knackered AND we want her to sleep so we can get on with making the next one .

I won't do the controlled crying thing so please don't suggest it (that's why I'm posting it here and not in the sleep section).

She can be calmed with shush patting most times but frankly at 3am it's just been easier to whop her on for a quick feed so I can get back to bed (yep, rod, own back, MiL has already given me that lecture thanksverymuch).

She eats three meals a day (BLW) and feeds every four hours during the day. She will drink water from a cup if it's offered.

I don't want to talk to the evil HV because she'll just tell me (once again) that mine is the heaviest baby she's ever seen and that I'm risking blah, blah, blah (TBH I either leave or switch off once she starts down this path so I'm not totally clear on what rubbish she spouts).

DH is happy to help me with this (he's finally made the association between me being knackered and me being ratty).

So how do I do it? If I could just get her down to one night feed during the next month I'd be so very happy.

All advice welcomed (except those of you who think I should just ignore her cries, that's not my way of doing mummying).

OP posts:

SugaryBits · 15/05/2007 20:18

If you find the answer please let me know!

My DS is 13months and wakes at least 4 times a night for a feed!

Tatties · 15/05/2007 20:21

At this age I finally stopped getting up to ds in the night and brought him into bed with me! How would you feel about that? Other than that you could try the No Cry Sleep Solution, but I never had the patience tbh.

Malaleche · 15/05/2007 20:22

Does she sleep in the same room as you? Could dp be the one to put her back to sleep during the night until she equates night wakenings with no tit and decides its not worth the bother? whatever you do a certain amount of crying will be involved. With dd1 i did cc at 3 mo, worked a dream never looked back. With dd2 now 8 mo i've done CC at 5,6,7 and 8 mo, ignoring, giving in and giving tit in the night, bringing into our bed with or without tit, shouting at her to shut up and go back to sleep, pu pd, shushing, etc etc. She sleeps in a cot next to us.
Frankly, i'm just happy to get any sleep at all...

Tapster · 15/05/2007 20:54

We made the decision that first she can go 4 hours between feeds, then every 3 days we have been increaseing it by half an hour. However, our 6 month old barely eats solids also she is recovering from a virus so its all on hold but it was working. You need to get your DH involved, I sent mine in to settle our DD when she wasn't due a feed. I decided at 6 months she could have two feeds 11am and 3am - she made it to 5am by the second night. Good luck.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/05/2007 20:58

The shush/patting thing worked for me and DS at 10.5 months. I worked on the basis that on occasion (albeit rare), he could go until at least 5am (from 7.30pm), so, I made a decision not to feed him before then, but would stay with him.

Got a makeshift bed and comfy chair set up in his room. First night it took until 3am for him to get to sleep after waking at around 12am i think - he woke at about 5.30am. Second night, he stirred at 12.30am but went off to sleep quickly and slept until 6.30am.

We havent looked back since.

glassslipper · 15/05/2007 21:00

Can you feed her every 3.5 hours during the day so fitting in an extra feed?

MrsTittleMouse · 15/05/2007 21:13

You might not like this idea, but have you tried FF in the night? DH decided that I needed a good night's sleep for once after DD was 6 months, and so took over feeding for one night as a one-off. DD took less and less milk each feed. It came as a bit of a shock as DD always fed very enthusiatically at night, so I'd always assumed that she took lots of BM. The next night, I gave her FF and she took 10ml all night. That was the push that made us realise that she didn't actually need the food that she had at night, and we then cut down one feed at a time and now she goes for 9 or 10 hours.

Othersideofthechannel · 15/05/2007 21:16

Have you tried offering her water in the night instead of a feed and seeing if she'll go back to sleep after that?

mamijacacalys · 15/05/2007 21:18

Advise trying co-sleeping and/or a dummy.
Good luck!

Original poster

whomovedmychocolate · 15/05/2007 21:18

Tatties - I do bring her into bed when she wakes up at 5am because I'm too knackered to do anything else - I just lie down and feed the little monkey. I did co-sleep for six weeks but she's a noisy little sod and keeps me awake AND thinks being in bed with mum means the 'all you can eat buffet' is well and truly open .

Malaleche - she sleeps in the next room but it's only four steps away. Shouting shut up and go back to sleep definitely doesn't work. Tried that once at end of tether. She laughed at me. Then went back to rooting and howling.

Tapster, that's a good idea, I will try that - we did have her on two feeds a night but she's just sprouted six teeth (in addition to her first two) in a week so she's been a tad unsettled. Okay, let's be honest, my daughter has turned into a right little sod who wakes up every hour to howl, bite and torment me (not her fault I agree, but if I don't do something soon, she's going on ebay!)

VVVQV - I'm filled with hope that this works for me. I have a comfy chair, but I'm just too knackered to do this right now - maybe in a week if I get a bit more sleep. Am going to try and extend the gaps a bit. Starting tomorrow (tonight I'm just too tired - I wish that was funny but it just isn't ).

Glassslipper - doesn't seem to help. We tried that (the baby whisperer book is well thumbed here) and she just gained two pounds in a week and looked extremely chuffed with herself, then crapped herself several times during the night because of the extra food and wailed a lot

Might give the no-cry-sleep-solution a go if I can get my photocopier to work to do the charts.....

Thank you all, at least I have some starting points to try now.

OP posts:

Original poster

whomovedmychocolate · 15/05/2007 21:21

MrsTittleMouse - she's refused ff from day one, she just doesn't seem to do cowmilk. But I know she's taking less at night because she only feeds for five minutes or so, then she's happy. I'd try water if I thought I could get away with it but she'll only drink from a cup and inevitably that means she gets soaked through and I don't want to wake her up because she's wet and cold (although I could put her to bed in a sou wester I guess

OP posts:

paulaplumpbottom · 15/05/2007 21:22

I replaced it with water in a sippy cup

highonlife · 15/05/2007 21:23

My DH used to go and cuddle DS when we were going through this phase, he would then usually go back off to sleep as he had received some comfort but not been able to smell my milk or latch on. I also used to lie in bed and listen to him - you get to realise when milk is rewuired and when its not. Definitely try the DH bit, it worked a treat and he felt useful, bonded etc. THis was when DS was 6/7 months old.

glassslipper · 15/05/2007 21:23

is that what baby whisperer says?

ok. what i've been doing with my DD (5 months) and seems to be working is cutting down her feeds from 10 mins to 9 mins to 8 mins, and so on. AT the moment I am on 6 mins for night feeds and last night she woke up once rather than twice for the first time.

highonlife · 15/05/2007 21:23

Whoops milk required not rewired - oh hell I'm losing it

Original poster

whomovedmychocolate · 15/05/2007 21:27

Glassslipper - oh you must be so happy to be woken just once - it's astonishing how this seems like a luxury - those who are first time pregnant reading this will be thinking 'those fools, how big a deal can it be to have to wake up a few times, I'm not sleeping well because I'm pregnant fgs'

OP posts:

glassslipper · 15/05/2007 21:29

It's been a real shock tbh as DD1 slept all nigth from 10 weeks. DD2 is now 5 months old and apart from the odd night after jabs or soemthing has always been up 2x. Try cutting the feeds a minute at a time. It has worked for me in 5 days. Of course last night may have been a fluke. I'll let you know tomorrow.

Original poster

whomovedmychocolate · 15/05/2007 21:30

Glassslipper - That is indeed what the Baby Whisperer says (only it's hard to know because she mumbles and, well whispers a lot).

Actually I throw her book across the room every time I read her refering the reader as 'luv'.

But she does make good sense on some stuff and is a much closer fit to my view of the world than SWMBNBMNBM (she who may be named but must not be maligned). I like the no-cry lady too though.

OP posts:

warthog · 15/05/2007 21:32

it takes a bit of willpower, but this is how i did it:

if she feeds twice during the night, make the first feed at a set time eg. 10 or 10:30 and let her determine the second feed time.

timing for the second feed: first night, feed her straight away, every subsequent night, push the time forward by 10 mins. don't let her get the feed earlier than any previous nights. eg. first night wakes 2am. feed. second night, 2, make her wait til 2:10, 3rd night, 2:15, make her wait til 2:20, 4th night, 2, make her wait til 2:30. hold her, walk around with her but don't stimulate her too much. if she carries on crying in your arms, of course you have to feed her. if one night has a setback, repeat that night's timings again, don't go back to the beginning.

sooner than you think she'll drop the second feed and sleep through.

then apply the same tactics to the first feed.

get your dh to help with stringing the feeds out. i reckon it won't take much more than two weeks. just think - two weeks and you'll have your whole nights back! big difference.

what i think is that beyond a certain age, getting food / milk at night stimulates them. so they get the first feed, stomach works, digests and then says 'more' so she wakes up again. but that's my private theory. also stomachs have timers too. she's had food during the night and will continue to expect it.

of course i don't think this is applicable in all cases, but it's clear your baby is getting enough food during the day!

CaptainCaveman · 15/05/2007 21:33

I had this trouble with ds, he refused formula milk fullstop. The only way to stop him bfing was to stop giving it to him.
First night he screamed for an hour, second night he cried for 20 mins, 3rd night he just had a whimper and a cuddle.
Soooo hard not to give in when you're knackered and have to get up to go to work etc the next day. However, after many times of pretending I was going to do it, I eventually did and it worked a charm!
Ds started feeding more in the day and taking formula too...

MissGolightly · 15/05/2007 21:35

Whomoved, I wish I knew! I had the exact same baby by the sounds of it (except mine was a boy). 7-8 months was my lowest point, he'd started on solids and so many people had promised that as a quick fix that I was truly gutted that it didn't work! But at 9 months he went down to one feed a night, and then at 11 months he started sleeping through - well, almost. He goes to 5am half the time and then sleeps another two hours, or else goes to 6am and is up for the morning. I don't know which is preferable!

The bad news is that it was NOTHING I did, he just started doing it by himself.

So I wish I had magic advice but I just wanted to say don't worry, there IS light at the end of the tunnel. And FWIW I hardly know any bf babies who slept through at 7 months. I thought many/most of my friends' babies were, but in conversations later they admitted rather differently. I think people talk a load of crap about sleep!

MissGolightly · 15/05/2007 21:39

Oh, no idea if it's related but I did start to cut down day breastfeeds at 9 months. This was nothing to do with the sleep, it was because I was going back to work at 12 months and wanted to gradually move away demand feeding so he wouldn't get too much of a shock!

It seems paradoxical that fewer feeds in the day woudl equal fewer feeds in the night but maybe it is related?? Or maybe just a co-incidence? I don't know!

Original poster

whomovedmychocolate · 15/05/2007 21:43

Warthog, yes this sounds like the way I'm going to do it.

If anyone has a method of getting the little monkey to sleep beyond 6am it'd be nice too! We have blackout curtains but we live in the country and it's very loud when the birds kick off (and then the sheep get going - except not now, they've all gone to the mint sauce factory by May). Not to mention the bleeding bats coming home to roost at 4:15 every morning (noisy buggers).

Sorry I'm whinging now.

MissGoLightly - she did spontaneously sleep through one night and I was TERRIFIED, I was convinced she was dead and didn't sleep a wink, I kept going in to check she was breathing. She then made up for it by only sleeping two hours in total the next night . But perhaps one day she just will. I live in hope!

OP posts:

warthog · 15/05/2007 21:53

it depends on what she does in the morning when she wakes up. if she cries, well there's not much you can do. but don't feed her straight away if you can help it. string her out until 7am. you might find that she'll start sleeping til 7 because there's nothing in it if she does wake up.

if she plays by herself in her cot when she wakes up, i'd not go in until she calls me. always try and keep things low level, not too stimulating. it won't be exciting enough for her. and i suspect that when she starts to get some really good stretches of sleep, she'll want more.

my dd also used to feed lots during the night and wake up early. there is an end!

if she demands food from you immediately then i think you have to get your dh involved. tell him it'll benefit you both!

good luck

VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/05/2007 22:00

WMMC - you just need to bite the bullet and go for it. Postponing it if you are already very much feeling the strain wont make for a better experience.

I speak from experience.....

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