Gutted I think we've ruined breastfeeding

[MsP0b]

My 11 week old DD is combination fed, she is bf first and then topped up w formula after each feed once she's exhausted both boobs. Strange regime I know but it's worked really well after a difficult start attempting to ebf.

We are away for a family weekend at a holiday cottage and I skipped the Sun am bf and just gave formula because I'd had 3 glasses of wine sat night. I have skipped odd bfs before and been fine. Then DP gave her another ff while I was in the shower (trying to help) so that was 2 bfs missed. Since then she's barely taken any bf and just cried for bottles. My boobs are now lumpy and swollen but not mega engorged.

Is this the end for bf??? : (
I'm waiting for her to wake up this am and will try to bf as normal.

(I’m assuming you want to continue bfing based on your post), this situation is very resolvable. Even exclusively bf babies can go through days when they seem reluctant to bf at that age. It’s like they realise they can refuse and want to practise that. Try feeding her when she first wakes up, she might be so sleepy she just latches in out of instinct.

If that works, I’d consider trying to drop some of the top ups as this breast then bottle regime must be so much work. Wouldn’t it be much easier to just give one bottle a day?

You can still bf when you have had alcohol. Just keep persevering and offering boob not bottle first

Just persevere with the breast feeding and don’t give bottles for a while or just do one bottle feed a day. The more you feed, the more your breasts will produce. Your baby is still very young so you can get over this.

You might try expressing some of your milk so that your boobs are less full. At that age my baby got very grumpy and refused to feed sometimes if the flow of milk was too fast. Also expressing will help to keep up your supply if you do want to continue bf and baby isn't feeding.

It might be that she is having problems latching on as you are full. Try expressing some to get the flow going and ease the fullness, then focus on bf as much as possible, cutting out top ups for some feeds.

Aww well done little girl; she's fed off both boobs and the hard lumps are gone. She's chugging her top up now.

I will continue to try to cut down the top ups, but once she's decided she's exhausted the boobs she's pretty insistent she needs her bottle!

You’re meeting her immediate needs with the top ups but that’s stopping her from placing a full order for the next few days. Try to stick to bf if you want to keep going. Add some pumping to get a head start if you can. Good luck.

I would pump the missed feeds, your boobs will empty and your supply will be fine.

I'd stop the top ups

But she’s 11 weeks old. If you don’t give her top-ups then you will start to produce more milk. It will be hard for the first few days but your boobs will catch up quickly.

Reduce the top ups in size

Keep offering boobs

Sofa, skin to skin, box sets

And yes, there is NO need to skip feeds after drinking

You might find pumping between feeds I creases your supply without distressing lo.

Just keep going with the feeding and agree with focusing on your milk and not formula. Your body will make milk on demand. If she’s demanding it, you’ll keep making it. Mine doesn’t even feed from both in one feed because he can feed and feed and feed from one side. I would say focus on expressing for a week or so and get your supply up and use bm as top ups and then drop them altogether.

Also you don’t need to skip feeds because you’re drinking unless you’re falling down, passing out drunk. I drink every weekend (probably 3 glasses of wine between lunch and dinner so over the course of a few hours) and I’ve never offered a bottle (mine won’t take one anyway). I just feed as I have the first glass so he’s topped up and I can relax a bit before the next feed, but alcohol doesn’t hang around in bm so no need to avoid a feed unless you’re so drunk you might pass out on your baby. Otherwise, enjoy!

Have you / your DP tried giving expressed milk in a bottle?

But she’s 11 weeks old. If you don’t give her top-ups then you will start to produce more milk. It will be hard for the first few days but your boobs will catch up quickly

That rather depends on why the topping up was recommended/started in the first place. If it's a chronic low supply issue then boobs may not catch up.

OP, work on trying to ditch the top ups only if getting back to ebf is what you want to do, not just because people are telling you that you should.

If topping up is going well in general (apart from this recent episode) then don't feel you have to mess with something that is working. Plenty of people combi feed. Just keep being strict on boobs first before bottle, and don't skip bf because of the wine!

How much is in the top up? How many mls is she taking each feed?

Thanks for all the advice.
I really tried to ebf but by 27 days old she was still 10% below birthweight. (I had a thread on here at the time.)
The midwives/ bf support worker were coming to the house every 2 days weighing her and I was worried sick and stressed to all hell. The first top ups were given in desperation really at that point.
I tried pumping to increase milk supply while always bf before bottles.
However the most I ever managed to pump was a total of 2.5 oz and that was pumping both sides several times over about 40 mins.
I reckon now she gets about 2oz from bf and about 5oz from bottle at each feed.

However, she has just refused to bf at the last 2 feeds having bf beautifully this morning.

Sorry it's been so hard. I could never express much either. Does she flutter feed at the end of each feed? The most nutritious bit is the hind milk. My DC2 was losing weight until someone pointed this out. You think they've finished, but actually they're still feeding intermittently and the stuff they're getting is the most rich. I'd hang in there for at least another 5 minutes more and you might be pleasantly surprised. Plus the additional sucking is telling your body to produce more tomorrow. Drink whilst your feeding if you can. My Dsis had to top up her twins, occasionally ran out of milk, but they went on despite that. Small babies don't have much of a memory. Keep trying. And if it doesn't work out, there is nothing wrong with formula or they wouldn't let you give it to babies. You have been getting breast milk in your baby for 11 weeks - well done. Good luck.