Breastfed baby has slow weight gain and fussing but don't want to be forced to give formula yet

[monkeygirl]

My 8 week old ds was a big baby at birth (10lbs 1 oz) but he has been gradually sliding down the centile lines from the 98th to about the 25th (he now weighs 10lbs 13ozs). He has been exclusively breastfed from birth. I feed him usually every 2.5/3 hours on demand although at night he has recently started doing 4 and 5 hour stints.

I am not a confident breastfeeder, and in some ways am a reluctant one, mostly because I have no faith in my own ability and milk supply (and I hate feeding in public, but that's another story), but I really really want to continue and not supplement with formula or give up yet, as suggested by the dreaded HV. I know, I know, take what they say with a pinch of salt but his slow weight gain is beginning to upset me and compound my own feelings of failure again with bfing (I had a similar experience with dd1 but managed to persevere to 4 months at least). What's making it worse is that my ds has always fussed slightly at the breast but he has been getting worse and in the past few days has been screaming and pulling away at daytime feeds (nighttime feeds done in bed are never a problem, it's like a different baby).

My ds is still a very cuddly, squidgy darling who is very alert and smiley when awake (although he does love his sleep but often has a problem in the daytime dropping off, again screaming if he can't - can this be connected?) and seems happy and laid back most other times.

I try really hard to get the latch right and although I'm not confident it is always good, I have never had sore nipples and ds often has milk dribbling out of his mouth. When I can wind him he also sicks up a fair bit so some must be going in.

Please please can anyone help or suggest what is going wrong as it is beginning to spoil my enjoyment of being a mum again and I want to keep the HVs off my case.

Monkeygirl - made another discovery with DD. Not only does she not fuss as much at night but also if I lay on the bed to feed her rather than sitting with her in my arms. And I've decided that the problem is that she is getting too hot. Obviously its slightly cooler at nighttime and also I can manage a slight gap between our bodies when laid down.

Think this may have caused DD not to feed enough in the daytime thus needing more at night. She's also been OK with her bottle of expressed because she's not been held as close. So am hoping I can work on keeping her cool at feeds and see an improvement in things.

Nothing is going wrong. A big baby at birth does not have to stay big, he's just finding his level. A baby on the 25th centile line is still a normal baby. If he has milk leaking out of him then having formula leaking out of him would make absolutely no difference. I know everyone else has said this, but I just wanted to say it too.

Don't let anything spoil your enjoyment of your baby, you are doing great.

Thanks Toddlerbob - I will get him weighed this week but I won't worry about it (well I'll try not to) - just have an irrational fear that I'm stunting his growth as we are not a short and slight family (not that I want him to be fat, natch!).

Bozza - I hope that you have discovered your problem - let us know if that has worked. And yes it is the same for me mostly in that he still doesn't fuss at night lying down but he did once when I tried it in the daytime. His fussing and screaming is getting worse although it's not at every feed. I still think it's linked with him not really wanting to feed and wanting to go to sleep but I have a terrible confession - I panicked one day cos he kept screaming after about 5 minutes or so of a feed a few times and I felt so frazzled and desperate that I topped him up with some formula, which he took no problem. After that he happily played without whinging and then went to sleep without needing to suck on his dummy. I really ought to have given him ebm but last time I couldn't do that either. I just can't really work out what is going on.

Monkeygirl do you think it might be worth you contacting a breast feeding counsellor just to check everything is OK?

DD actually only woke up once last night - and I'd put her in a sleepsuit rather than a vest - so wonder if that was the problem. Too hot in the day and too cold at night.

Bozza - I know I should really so I will either ring a helpline first or talk to the doctor at the baby clinic who is pretty good. Today and yesterday I actually bf'd him while supporting him with a cushion and not cradled on my arm and it was loads better so wonder if it has something to do with me hurting him somehow that way or maybe he's just uncomfortable. They're so sensitive aren't they? I would never have thought that a hungry baby would care too much about hot and cold when milk was on the menu! Still mine isn't so sensitive as to mind his nappy being full of poo!