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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

What I'd like to say to midwives who roll their eyes and tut instead of offering support to women who want to bf

43 replies

hunkermunker · 13/05/2007 14:35

"Look, YOU might not give a shit whether the women you're looking after breastfeed or not, but I can tell you that some of the ones you put off or don't help are in BITS after they don't manage it, but most of them are too intent on coping with a newborn and burying any feelings of failure to complain to you. On their behalf, let me tell you that they only had ONE chance to breastfeed that baby - yes, they might manage it if they have any more children, but they may very well not after YOU were their experience of support this time - how DARE you make the decision that their feelings and their babies don't matter enough NOT to help them!"

OP posts:

OrmIrian · 17/05/2007 17:25

I really think that it shouldn't be part of a mws job to do this. So often they don't seem to have the time (or the inclination it appears). It can be such a time consuming task and one where you can't afford to be tired and fed up. Not to mention I think you need specific experience and abilities. One or two bfing consultants at each maternity ward would be so much better. I had one on the ward I was on - the mws were good too as it happens - but she was fantastic. It was her entire job to make bfing as easy as possible, and she spent ages with me when I was struggling. She made all the difference - for DS#1 and my other 2 babies. And wasn't constantly being interrupted to help change nappies, or look at stitches or nappy rash.

It's too important to be just an additional responsibility.

Original poster

hunkermunker · 17/05/2007 17:26

No, send it. It costs nothing to be kind to someone.

They'll think they're doing a good job and keep doing it if nobody says otherwise.

Ask for a meeting with the director of midwives - I found it a very useful debrief, because I could counter their insistence that it must have been agency midwives I saw (it wasn't) or that the posters on the wall of the corridor were enough support (wtf?). She asked me to be on the committee. Lots of hospitals have committees looking at ways to improve their maternity services now - ones attended by service users and staff to try and get things better. You could, if it's your kind of thing, ask if there's something like that at your hospital. I've found it very positive and useful.

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Original poster

hunkermunker · 17/05/2007 17:29

JTS, yes, those midwives are unhelpful as well - tutting and eye-rolling isn't the way to treat anybody asking for your help, whatever the subject.

But when you consider that 90% of women who stop breastfeeding before their baby's six weeks old regret their decision...I think there are more of the ones I mentioned in the OP.

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Original poster

hunkermunker · 17/05/2007 17:30

OrmIrian, Tiktok's posted at length about how impossible it would be to put a bf counsellor on each ward - it'd have to be several to cover all the shifts, the money to train them in depth would never be provided, etc, etc.

Midwives are MEANT to be doing this. There just aren't enough of them.

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OrmIrian · 17/05/2007 17:33

Sorry - couldn't see that post. I guess it's always down to resources.

tiktok · 17/05/2007 17:36

Thanks, hunker, yes, I did do the maths for this!

Breastfeeding support should be basic to every midwife's training - as basic and essential as delivering the baby.

whomovedmychocolate · 17/05/2007 17:38

I personally experienced seven very hassled midwives latching DD on and then legging it (too busy to stay). But eventually I figured it out myself. I think more hospitals should have mum to mum networks so you are given the number of someone in the community who has given birth and breastfed to call if it all is going horribly wrong. There is nothing like practical demonstrations and experience IME.

Original poster

hunkermunker · 17/05/2007 17:39

OrmIrian, Tiktok's post's not on this thread - sorry, I wasn't clear.

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OrmIrian · 17/05/2007 17:40

Ok. I'll have a look for it.

Amberjee · 17/05/2007 17:45

sad to hear about these experiences. my midwife tried her best to help, but after quite a few unsuccessful days and a baby who was losing weight, she suggested i should buy some formula and bottles to have around in case. i refused and eventually got the help i needed.
i'm now training to be a peer supporter to try to help mums who want to breastfeed. it's so hard in the beginning, but so worth persevering.

Original poster

hunkermunker · 17/05/2007 17:49

OrmIrian, couple of posts from this thread

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Mossie · 17/05/2007 18:38

In that case Hunker I will send the letter... especially as the hospital is meant to be "babyfriendly".

Also I want to know, my baby had slightly low blood sugar when he was first born, and would not latch on, so he was given formula (from a cup) for the first 24 hrs while he was in special care for observations (as a result of the low blood sugar, mainly 'cos he had the cord wrapped all around him at birth).

Did he need it, or would he have been all right waiting for the next day until I had some colostrum to express? I thought he deffo did, but some comments I've read on MN since have made me wonder.

Original poster

hunkermunker · 17/05/2007 18:42

Why would you have waited 24 hours to express colostrum? It's there in pregnancy, so there's no reason you couldn't have hand expressed it straight away, unless you'd had problems in labour?

What do you mean by slightly low blood sugar? Can you remember the number? I know DS2 was "expected" to have two consecutive readings of 2.6 or over, or they'd have wanted him in the NICU having intravenous dextrose (personal decision on my part that I'd rather he had that and not formula), but from what I've read, his sugars were actually pretty normal.

It sounds like they're not being "baby friendly" and need that letter! Let me know how you get on.

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lulumama · 17/05/2007 18:42

Mossie · 17/05/2007 18:48

Hi Lulu!!!! Hey I finally met NormaStanleyFletcher t'other day, she is really nice isn't she?

Hunker I wasn't shown until the next day, and there wasn't enough to feed to him then, about two or three dropets came out, it wasn't until the next night there was much in there at all. I can't remember the number his blood sugar was - it was enough to warrant him being observed for the next day, but not enough for us to really worry (although bloody hell I did!)

I don't know if it was due to labour, I was induced with a drip etc, and had lots of diamorphine (probably the real reason why he wouldn't latch on at first but I wsn't told that).

lulumama · 17/05/2007 18:49

nonscareymidwife · 17/05/2007 20:52

I thought bf training was mandatory for mw's I have worked in three different trusts and it has been in each of those. It certainly is in the trust I work in at the moment.

Original poster

hunkermunker · 17/05/2007 22:26

Basic training is, I think, mandatory - as in it's part of a midwife's training. But afaik there's nothing that says she needs to do anything further than that - which is appalling, IMO.

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