Help 9 week old breastfeeding constantly

[laulou82]

Help needed! I've been exclusively breastfeeding my 9 week old baby since birth but she seems to feed little and often almost every hour. She doesn't sleep during the day unless in my arms and only sleeps about 3 hours at night then won't go back in her moses basket. She poos after every feed more or less too but putting on lots of weight. My husband now wants to give her formula as we aren't getting any sleep and she cries when we go out or do anything. I can understand how he's feeling but I also want to carry on breastfeeding as its meant to be so good for them :-( she's started sucking her fists a lot lately too so now my husband is saying she's not full on breastmilk etc (and starting to wind me up) sorry for long post just not sure what to do!

Check out the wonder weeks app. It explains all of the growth spurts and different developmental things. I found it really helpful when feeding. Saying that I stopped at 10 weeks as I physically and mentally couldn't cope with the lack of sleep.

This probably won’t be what you want to hear but it’s completelt normal, you are doing an amazing job! She has a tiny stomach and is probably going through a developmental leap (check out wonder weeks!) so has to feed little and often. Tell DH to pipe down, it won’t last long and she is definitely getting enough from you! Again, you’re doing amazingly! This too shall pass, I remember almost getting bedsores in the early days with my twins when they were feeding non stop...

She might be having a growth spurt but if she’s always been like this she may also be using you for comfort. You say she feeds almost hourly during the day? How long does she feed for? I know it’s not textbook advice but I introduced a dummy for similar issues and it helped a lot. But you first need to be happy that she is feeding properly when she does feed.....if she is doing she shouldn’t normally need feed g again an hour later, growth spurts excepted.

Everything you are describing is absolutely normal for a BF newborn.

If she is putting on weight and has plenty of wet/dirty nappies then you are definitely producing enough and she’s getting what she needs. At this age their tummies are tiny and BM digests quickly (way quicker than formula). Some babies feed little and often when first born, it will space out as she gets older. This is the hard bit no one tells you about but it will get easier.

In terms of the sleeping on you during the day again that’s very normal- slot of babies, including much older ones but especially newborns need to be cuddled to sleep during the day. Mine was the same till about 4 months. At night it’s also very normal for them not to settle in a basket after the first wake- the first period of sleep is the deepest. Have you tried safe co sleeping? It’s a great way to get plenty of rest when BF. You could also try a tight swaddle, white noise, warming the basket etc. Can you take a co sleeping nap with baby during the day to catch up on sleep?. I would also highly recommend a sling, a stretchy one. Keeps baby close and lovely and snuggly.

Have a google of the 4th trimester, it explains a lot. Your baby is so new to the world that being close to mum/dad makes her feel secure.

Don’t move to formula unless you want to, it won’t be the magical fix to baby not settling etc. Keep doing what you are doing, you’re doing a great job and it will get easier as she gets a bit older.

Congrats on your newborn

If you are thinking of formula, remember it is not all or nothing. We give 1 ff per day, around 9pm which gives us a longer stretch before the next feed. Bf for all other feeds which has worked really well.

DD is 10 weeks. I definitely find that if I take her out in the pram, she gets much better and longer sleep in the day than when we stay home.

Sounds normal to me. I noticed DS started going longer between feeds at 12 weeks. Have you given her a bottle yet? If not it may be too late. I planned to combi feed from 8 weeks but DS refused the bottle (and we tried so many bottles and brands of formula over the weeks!). He is nearly 10 months now and still breastfeeding but it is so so much easier now.

Hi Laulou,
I agree with Amirite! I have a 6 month old daughter who has been EBF (on the breast) so far. She feeds much more regularly than formula babies. Also, sleeping wise, she will do 3-4 hours at the beginning of the night then 2 hourly (usually). Friends who breastfeed pretty much all report the same kind of sleep pattern - occasionally there is a 'good' sleeper, but regular wake ups seem to be more normal for BF babies. Luckily for us ours is a quick feeder, so I keep the lights off, minimal noise and neither of us really wake up - sometimes my partner sleeps right through - and my little one goes back down fast as she never really woke up. I have also taken to feeding her lying down - although I am very likely to fall asleep in this position!!
She hardly ever cries though - I don't know if that is to do with BF or if it is just her or another reason? I wonder if sucking her fists may be do with something else - normal exploratory behaviour, or maybe her teeth are starting to move around in her gums? I agree with James that if she toilets regularly and is gaining weight then she is certainly getting enough food!
So far for us, BF has been great. No getting up in the middle of the night to make up a bottle, or carrying bottles around with us when we go out, or having to clean and sterilise bottles (or buy them for that matter!). I also feel that the health benefits are a reason to keep on going!
I hope that helps!

Totally normal. Both of mine did this. Frequent feeds day and night then hours of cluster feeding in the evening. Going anywhere was tricky. They had both outgrown it by 3 months. I bf DD until she was 2 and DS is still bf at 18mo. Ime, the first 3 months are hard then it's a doddle.

kellymom.com/parenting/parenting-faq/fussy-evening/

Thank you Donkir, I have bought the wonder weeks app so will have a look at it!

Thank you so much everyone, you have made me feel better. I was in years this morning (only because of husband wanting to give formula!) my little one has put on lots of weight and has lots of wet/dirty nappies and I know I am doing the best for her so I want to continue! I do try and express a bottle sometimes and she does drink from the bottle which is good but I think she uses me as comfort sometimes. I am going to continue what I am doing and fingers crossed my little one will start to sleep a little longer and feed a little less in time! Xx

Good one Laulou! Remember that babies are designed to only need breastmilk, so if you can do it, then brilliant! Your little one is so very young still too, so not surprising that she needs mum and food in the night! Also, when I was having trouble with the 4 month sleep regression, I was told - everything is temporary. It all seems like such a major deal at the time, then suddenly it changes or clicks. Until there is a new challenge on the horizon Best of luck

Have you tried white noise to get her to nap a bit more in the day and stretch feeds to 2-3 hourly instead of hourly? It’s very effective but needs to be LOUD!

All that said you might find she improves in the next few weeks - I remember 3 months being a big leap for both of mine.

Thank you so much EveHen :-)
Mrscog, I have tried playing white noise and it does calm her but if she falls asleep and is put in her moses basket or pram, she only sleeps for 10 minutes to a maximum of 40 minutes (but that's not often!) Sometimes she will go in a sling which I know Fortheloveofjames mentioned and she will sometimes sleep in that for an hour or so! When I take her out in the pram she will sometimes sleep for an hour or longer although she often cries a bit in between! Going out in the car also seems to send her to sleep!

Please feel comforted by the fact that I could have written your post when my DS was the same age - it does get so much better. He's now six months and I really enjoy BFing.

Please be wary of your partner (or anyone) constantly asking 'are they getting enough milk?' The answer, if you're feeding on cue, is almost always YES. Babies feed for so many reasons - comfort, entertainment, thirst, hunger, warmth, connection... that question really wore me down in the first few weeks, it can make you feel like you're not doing your best. BUT you are - you're doing brilliantly - so keep going. All the best xxx

Normal. I always had my baby in sling so they can feed whenever they want :) would recommend

The sucking of hands can be a comfort to them, but it also about them becoming aware of their body. I've never heard of it being a hungry cue (I may be wrong).

Just wanted to add my hand to hold OP. I'm also EBF 9wo DD2, she was mix fed to start with due to severe tongue tie.

We're having exactly the same constant feeding, clingy, worse daytime sleeps. She's discovered her hands and is desperately working on keeping them in her mouth but gets very frustrated when they won't stay there!

Mine sleeps brilliantly at night - I've got a cosleeper cot with a sleepyhead in it. However, she is DC3, and I can tell you that sleep is more down to the baby than anything you do.

DS was my worst sleeper. EBF for 10 months, waking every hour to hour and a half every night. At 10 months we switched to formula, and his sleep didn't change a bit.

When I was mix feeding Dd2, she didn't go any longer after a bottle than she did after a boob, so don't let your DH fall into the trap of thinking that bottle = longer is a given. Obviously, it's fine to give a bottle if you want a break from one feed, but don't do it expecting her behaviour to change.

You sound like you're doing a fantastic job

I used to leave my phone playing white noise at full volume for the whole nap - does that help? It got DS napping consistently away from me when I wanted my arms free for 30 mins. It gets better, it really does!

Thank you all so much, you have made me feel so much better! I know I shouldn't doubt myself whether bubba is getting enough milk, will have to show hubby all your posts, especially yours EekThreek :-) She has put on so much weight so I should be pleased. She does have an awful lot of runny pooey nappies though, is this normal for breastfed babies?
Mrscog I've tried playing white noise when I try and put her down for a nap but she still wakes up after between 5 and 20 minutes! She just doesn't sleep! One night slept for 5 hours in one go but never done it since.

Hi Laulou
yes very runny poo is totally normal for BF babies. I have had loads of poonami that have escaped.
With regards to the sleeping, have you tried putting books under one end of the cot/moses basket to elevate the head? This definitely helped my daughter to sleep better as I think she might have had a bit of minor reflux

Hi Evehen
Thanks for reassuring me regarding the runny poo nappies! I have also had a few poonami ones!
Maybe I should try elevating the moses basket at one end as she definitely prefers to be sat up a bit. I have been wondering if she also has a bit of silent reflux after reading about it. I thought it was colic at first. Thank you. I will give that a try

My little one was like this, spoke to midwife who said try and pump so I now breast feed first then top her up with pumped breast milk and it has worked wonders! Wakes ever 3 hours for food and is much more settled in the day.

This does sound normal, as suggested above the wonder weeks app is great, but cluster feeding can often be related to growth spurts as well - not just leaps.. I've (hopefully) attached an image which explains the common times in development for both.

I promise bf goes get easier, i really didn't think I would ever be able to put my baby down or leave da with anyone else. I can and he does I am still bf at nearly 13 months. X

I’m in almost exactly the same boat as you OP, with my 9 week old EBF DS, so I GET IT COMPLETELY! I will echo what others have said: it sounds as if you’re doing an absolutely amazing job. Don’t let anyone - including your partner - talk you into moving to FF if you doesn’t feel right for you. You’re the boss here.

...if *it doesn’t feel right for you.