Breastfeeding isn’t working and I feel so sad

[Essexmummy88]

My baby is 5 days old and we have struggled from the start to get him to latch. 8/10 times he ends up frustrated and screaming and I then have to calm him first, the whole thing makes me feel extremely anxious for his next feed.
Today has been the worst, he hasn’t latched even once so I have hand expressed and fed through bottle but now I worry I’ve made it worse as the bottle flows so much quicker and he took it really easily.

Shall I keep trying? Or accept I have to express? It was so important to me to breastfeed I am permanently close to tears and feel I’ve failed him. I can’t bear to see him hungry so I gave the bottle but I can’t imagine he will latch now.

Shall I try nipple shields?? My head is all over the place I feel actual fear about him waking and the screaming for milk beginning again when I am clearly incapable of meeting his needs.

I can express about 3oz each time, is this even enough?! I reqlksie I sound mental and dramatic

Another vote for nipple shields and checking for tongue tie.
My baby didn't latch at all for 4 days, and then only occasionally for the next few. Tried nipple shields and they helped a LOT. Weaning off them was way less stressful than I expected too.
Best of luck and really hope you get there.

It's still really early days, so if you want to breastfeed then I'd say stick with it. We had a really tough start to breastfeeding, but I ended up exclusively bf until 10 months and am so glad I stuck with it. What support are you getting? You should be able to access support through your midwife, or your HV when she takes over. I definitely would have given up if not for all our breastfeeding clinic appointments.

Babies don't have to work so hard when they are bottle fed to get the milk, with the breast they have to suckle rather than just suck and work their mouth and gums more to encourage the milk ducts to let down. They may seem to 'prefer' the bottle but it's not usually due to the mom or the breast it just may seem quicker when you're a hungry baby! Don't be deterred they will grow to love the contact with you.

I am also having feeding issues and have found the posts on this thread really helpful and reassuring, so thanks OP and I hope things improve for you - you're certainly not alone.

Just want to say I had a very very similar experience with DC1, everything getting very stressful to the point I dreaded the next feed. You've had some great advice and I've nothing to offer re continuing, but in my case, at about a week in, I decided to just express. As soon as the decision was made it was a weight off my shoulders and I enjoyed my baby so much more! She thrived and I was SO much happier. I also found expressing pretty simple. I stopped when she was about 6 weeks so it's obviously not a breastfeeding success story, and I'm not suggesting that you stop before you feel satisfied you've given it your all - but I just wanted to say that in the end nothing is worth getting down over, and if you DO end up having to stop, happy Mum = happy baby was definitely my experience. I've since had a second baby and breastfed much more easily so I think it's a bit of a lottery! Hope the BFing improves for you!