I am using my wife's mumsnet account (with permission) to air my frustrations at the standard of postnatal care she has received.
We have just had our second child 9 days ago he was a big boy at 10 pounds 11 ounces just like our first who was 9 pound 10. My wife was unable to breastfeed our first due to a number of issues including a lack of milk early doors but this was exacerbated by the rediculous amount of pressure put on her by community midwife support workers (CMSW)about the weight of the baby.
For our second the breastfeeding has been much better and the milk is in but still the weight issue has occurred and surprise surprise the community midwifes are back applying the same pressure. I'm really angry with this as it is upsetting my wife and once again risking scuppering her aspirations of breastfeeding our son. I have a number of gripes which I will detail below:
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first we never see the same CMSW more than once so there is no consistency. They use different scales, they suggest different contradictory tips for breastfeeding and they disagree over whether hind milk is a thing! The main issue though is that they can't focus on other visual factors to compare such as colour alertness and feeding pattern as they are only there once. We will have our 4th different CMSW tomorrow.
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breast feeding is promoted massively by the NHS but then when any baby has lost 10% of its weight irrespective of its initial size its straight on to suggesting formula. In my mind this is simply so they can tick a box and get you off the books
*they weigh every bloody day. So Far our son has lost 12 ounce on first weigh in then lost another 1 24 hours later then gained 2 24 hours later then lost 2. How rediculous that 2 ounce is the difference between feeding before or after or having a poo or wee. Our next weigh in tomorrow is less than 24 hours from the last one!
They have currently all said the following, he looks very well, he's feeding great, his jaundice is definitely going down, he's very alert and it's a great sign he has so many wees and poos. Yet they focus only it seems in the end on the weight. Where is the common sense or flexibility, it stinks of arse covering. When I asked why the weight was so important everyone has been unable to say why and simply say it's a target they have to meet.
*they suggest top ups of 3 ounces every 3 hours which is an impossible target leading to the only option bottle feed. They then don't discuss as they are required by standards the implications of top up via formula.
- There is no allowance for big babies weight loss, who statistically lose higher percentage bigger weight due to them having bigger appetites mixed with the fact that milk will come in for the mum at the same time whether the baby is big or small.
*when asked for a breastfeeding solution to get greater quantities of milk they don't know and simply say top up using formula or expressed milk. This combined with the rediculous targets they set on top ups leads again to one solution, you guessed it bottle feed. its like it's a conspiracy where all CMSW are employed by cow and gate or whoever and get paid commissions to get new mums hooked.
I know this is a bit ranty but it's really upset me seeing my wife get so upset because our healthy baby boy isn't putting on weight straight away. It's so rediculous they all say he's healthy but put all the focus on one thing.
I must say we were happy in the end bottle feeding our first as the milk didn't come and it was a catelogue of other issues besides CMSW pressure. There is no issue with bottle feeding at all and I think each mum should get the choice to do what they want as long as the child is healthy, but there in lies my point, my wife wants to breastfeeder but it seems the game is rigged against her.
As a footnote I also must say the staff in the labour suite are great from my experience, but as soon as you get up to the wards and out in to the community the care provided stinks.
Frustrated Husband.