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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Conflicting advice!

11 replies

Katy44 · 09/05/2007 17:31

Everyone told me this would happen, but I've had conflicting advice from HV and MW about feeding my (12 day old) ds.
(That's the first time I've written that )
I'm bf on demand, and the MW explained that feeds might last over an hour, others might last 10 minutes - she likened this to adults sometimes having a huge meal and sometimes just having a snack (or even just a drink), and just to go with it. The HV on the other hand, said I should feed him for as long as absolutely possible, trying to feed for the max length of time so that he will sleep for a few hours in between all feeds and get into a routine.
I do wake him if he falls asleep if he's only fed for a few minutes, only to make sure he hasn't fallen asleep while still hungry, but if he's not interested, I let him sleep.
Just wondering what anyone thought?
One more question, sorry I'll make this one quick! I want to start expressing, but not sure how to feed him the EBM. Will a bottle at this stage confuse him (the MW seemed to think not)? If I feed him from a spoon or a syringe surely he won't like it as much as he won't have the comforting sucking?

OP posts:

rowan1971 · 09/05/2007 17:35

Re: routine - i think it totally depends on whether you want to get into a routine or not - it's not the only way of child-rearing, but it does suit a lot of people. Do you like the idea of a routine, or are you happy to just respond to what your baby seems to want?

Know nothing about expressing, sorry...

RanToTheHills · 09/05/2007 17:35

sounds like youre' doing wonderfully, and congratulations!
IMO 12 days is too young by far for a routine (and I am a routine queen! Maybe by 6 weeks or so). i'd just carry on what you're doing - feeding as long as he wants to, within reason, as long as you're getting some chance to rest/sleep.
I fed EBM from a few days old, didn't get confused (though lots of people swear this is not so, maybe depends on baby, also helps if dh/dp does it, not you). Check yr using a slow teat (can get them in Boots/mothercare) so that milk doesn't rush out and overwhelm LO.
HTH

tiktok · 09/05/2007 17:42

Katy - it's so confusing, isn't it, when even the professionals disagree!

The only reason why the clock might have a role to play in a baby's life at 12 days old is if he is underweight/dehydrated and needing to feed more often than he would otherwise ask for.

You have the right idea - using your judgement to offer him more if you think he might need it occsionally (though you don't need to wake him...) and not fighting him and worrying about it.

The object of early baby care is not to feed the max length of time and get into a routine - for a start, one (feeding the max) does not lead to the other (routine). It's to get bf off to a good start and the only way to do this is to feed responsively, not by the clock.
Your HV has given you a good clue to her knowledge of bf - ie she doesn't have much.

If you have a choice, then leave the expressing business for now - you have enough to do!

shonaspurtle · 09/05/2007 17:54

Leave the expressing for now if it's just for someone else to give a bottle as at this stage it doesn't really save you any time - I was expressing very early due to very sore nipples but as dh was feeding ds, I was hooked back up to the pump so no extra sleep gained! Also, I found that I had to express then rather than skip a feed or I would get engorged. Far better to just go with the flow for now.

kateyp · 09/05/2007 18:09

Ahhh - conflicting advice - expect lots more!! That is the one thing I remember from Ds1 that everyone would tell me something different - professionals, non-professionals, family members that felt they knew best, friends that were breast feeding and had been given advice from someone else...it drove me NUTS.

You sound to be doing great. I think that a routine appears in its own time anyway and at the mo, feeding when your lo needs it is the best way to get the milk a-flowing.

But what do I know? Muddling my way through feeding ds2 and still none the wiser really (and still getting conflicting advice!!!) (but more confident to say "not listening to that thanks")

octo · 09/05/2007 18:17

katy44 - I would just go with what feels right for you - ernie feeds for no more than 15 minutes but i do try to wake him if he nods off after 5 unless have latched him on just to get him to sleep! I like him to feed for as long as poss so know he is full and gets hind milk and tbh of he isn't interested he doesn't suck! He has just dropped two night feeds aswell which worried me but when got him weighed today he has put on a whopping 1lb this week! Was going to express too - but cannot be arsed to sterilise at the moment ... too much else going on. I was planning to us a bottle for the expressed milk.

hth

octo xxx

Original poster

Katy44 · 09/05/2007 18:18

Thanks everyone.
I think I'll stick to feeding as and when he wants it for now, up until a few days ago I was desperate to get into a routine as I felt like a milking machine and didn't even have time to go to the toilet, but although he's not in a routine yet he is getting more predictable and I'm getting more sleep at night so I'm not too bothered about that. It also seems really cruel to expect him to empty my breasts when he might just have fancied a drink!
As for the expressing, I actually wanted to express a bit to ease a blocked duct, and it seemed a waste to throw it out. Massage and feeding has sorted it out (and I can't be bothered with all the sterilising) but I was just wondering what the general advice was? At what age can we assume he will be OK with a bottle for the odd feed? Thanks for the advice about the slow flowing teats, it hadn't even occurred to me there was a difference!

OP posts:

Original poster

Katy44 · 09/05/2007 18:21

Hi octo - x posts!
Ernie sounds just like T - on one hand I get frustrated because I can't really calm him down without feeding him (DH is an expert!) but on the other hand it's nice to know I always have something to fall back on - my nightmare of a baby screaming and there being absolutely nothing I can do hasn't come true. On the odd occasion when he does scream for no apparent reason it really upsets me - if he could just say "I'm feeling a bit grumpy and fancy a cry" that would be fine
When do you plan to express and use the bottle?

OP posts:

kateyp · 09/05/2007 18:22

Well my ds1 was on special care for a few days so had naso-gastric tubes, bottles and breast, then we had to top up his feeds with formula from then on (long story) - anyway - he never had a problem with nipple/teat confusion and I got back to sole breastfeeding for a fair while and fed him mixed feeding until 6months.

I've given ds2 ebm in a bottle, although we are trying those tommee tippee ones that are meant to be more like breast feeding (suspect all marketing though). so far (he is 8 weeks and has had probably 14 bottles in his life) he hasn't been confused!

But like someone else said - think it depends on the baby.

You can give it in cups which is meant to prevent any confusion.

Original poster

Katy44 · 09/05/2007 18:27

Right, think I'll try a bottle for the first expressed feed then (but I'll leave it a few more weeks). He's very comfortable with bf, so hopefully he'll be fine, even more so the longer I leave it.

OP posts:

octo · 09/05/2007 18:28

kateyp - have posted on your other thread.

katy44 - was planning to do it at 9pm as was one of the dropped feed times and will have eaten lots of fatty food by then!! also stops me being tempted by the demon pinot grigio!!

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