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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Please can i have a little bit of encouragement??

19 replies

theUrbanDryad · 09/05/2007 11:08

so since Saturday ds has woken every two hours in the night. he is taking a feed and then going straight back down, but it's getting to be pretty exhausting. he has been on an intermittent growth spurt since he was 10 weeks so i don't think it's that. i know if i ask my HV or doctor she'll tell me to wean him, but i didn't want to wean him till he could sit up at the very earliest. if anyone has any advice it'd be most welcome.

OP posts:

tiktok · 09/05/2007 11:22

How old is your ds?

This behaviour is normal, and doesn't mean there is anything wrong, and there are ways to make it easier on you - co-sleeping, for one, getting help in the day so you can have a rest is another....but if, as I'm assuming, ds is about four or five months, he's too young (IMO) to do anything approaching controlled crying. Weaning is very unlikely to help.

You deserve support and encouragement, not just on here, but in real life too : )

Original poster

theUrbanDryad · 09/05/2007 11:32

ds is 18 weeks. really really don't want to do cc, anymore than i want to wean. will try co-sleeping next i think - dh can go and sleep in the spare room.

i just constantly feel like i've bitten off more than i can chew. dh cooks the dinner but doesn't do much else in the way of housework, so i'm doing all the washing and everything else. on top of this i feel like i have to be cheerful all the time...

and to top off my rant, i'm fat and frumpy and i don't fit any of my pretty pre-pregnancy tops.

OP posts:

Tatties · 09/05/2007 11:50

Oh I would try co-sleeping. We started at 6mo because I just couldn't keep getting up to ds any more, I was too tired. It can feel a bit strange at first, but once I got used to it I found I was much less disturbed by the night waking. And I also think ds woke less because he felt more secure next to me all the time. I started weaning too early and tried formula, all in vain attempts to get him to sleep better, but they didn't work.
You are doing brilliantly, don't worry about the housework, don't plan too much and try to get in extra rest/sleep where you can. Good luck

Original poster

theUrbanDryad · 09/05/2007 11:54

if i don't do the housework no-one else will and i hate being in a messy house.

i'm sorry to whinge.

OP posts:

Cadmum · 09/05/2007 12:01

First of all: Well done for breast feeding your baby and for not attempting to wean before he is ready. As tiktok has already mentioned it is unlikely to help anyhow.

Second: My heart really goes out to you..
It is really hard to sit in a messy house when you are tied to a baby that needs to be fed constantly BUT this time will pass SO SO quickly and everything will be in order before you know it. (Our eldest is now 10 and when he was 18 weeks I was convinced that I would never feel like a capable adult again but now that our fourth is 14 months it is all a fading memory.)

Third: Do you have a great sling? Wear the baby while you work. I found it much easier to get things done once I accepted that the baby really needed my attention and cuddles far more than the laundry needed to be perfectly folded.

Fourth: Is there anyway that you could afford to hire help with the house?

Fifth: Please whinge on MN as we have all been there and sometimes just knowing that you are NOT alone really helps.

Tatties · 09/05/2007 12:11

I COMPLETELY understand - it is only with hindsight I am saying this of course. It depresses me being in a messy house too. Can dh help a bit more? But if you are exhausted, in the long term it is better for you to rest and look after yourself as much as you can now. Maybe just relax your standards and expectations of what you can get done for a little while?

USAUKMum · 09/05/2007 12:11

You are doing really well. I also found that co-sleeping really helped at this age

(BTW don't worry that it might cause problems in the future, once mine didn't need a night fed, they were happy to sleep by themselves with cuddle time when the get up in the morning.)

Also maybe reassess what really needs to be done about the house (e.g. do you need to do everything every day/week/whatever). You have a young baby, IMHO housework can slip for a bit (I still use this excuse at times with a 2yo and 6you )

Cazee · 09/05/2007 12:54

Your LO and mine are similar ages, and I also HATE the house being a mess. I put DD in her cot when she falls asleep at 9ish, and then bring her in to my bed when she wakes for a feed. We then co-sleep for the rest of the night. This works really well for me as it means DH and I get to sleep together at the start of the night, and when I bring her in later he often goes off to the spare bed. As for the mess, get a big folding crate, and dump all DH's stuff in it . House is tidy, and DH has a big pile of stuff to sort out! I do the kitchen once a day, sometime before dinner. (DH does wash up after dinner, which is very helpful). I find that as long as I know it is going to get done it helps me to ignore it a bit in the day. I think I have a bit of an anxiety issue about mess, to be honest. I have now started putting DD in her cot with toys, or on the playmat in livingroom for 10 minute sessions while I run round getting it tidy (even if she winges a bit, as long as she is not screaming I leave her). I am then much more relaxed and can play happily with her. One last idea, if DH has your LO in the evening, and plays with her and walks her, (as opposed to my DH's method of jigging her on his knee while on the internet ) it might help keep her happy while you are free to sort out the house?

potoroo · 09/05/2007 13:08

We also did a bit of temporary co-sleeping (DS is now a fine sleeper in his own bed).

Also, I used to give DH the sling a lot. DH would cook dinner with DS in the sling and I could whip around throwing stuff into cupboards etc. He'd also sit up on the computer in the evening with DS in sling so I could get some sleep.

I did give DS a bit of baby rice at around 18 wks (he could sit early) - it made him happy because he thought he was eating the same as us (he used to swipe at our dinner) but made absolutely no difference to sleeping.

TooTicky · 09/05/2007 13:13

I second the co-sleeping and the sling. These are excellent.

beansprout · 09/05/2007 13:17

You are doing fine, in fact, more than fine. A lot of people throw the towel in at this stage. I would say, do whatever gets you through. I wish I had co-slept more when I needed to. Slings are good too. Just ensure that you get enough sleep and he gets enough milk.

Nobody died wishing they had spent more time cleaning the house

Original poster

theUrbanDryad · 09/05/2007 15:11

Cazee - are we somehow married to the same man? the jiggling on the knee whilst on the internet sounds horribly familiar.

i do have a sling - in fact i have 3! i have this one, this one, and a papoose one that i don't use anymore as the weight is too much on one shoulder! (wuss)

the only thing is - how do you do the housework with the baby in the sling? for example, if you have the baby in a front carry, how are you supposed to do the washing up, or bend down to pick up stuff off the floor or hang out the washing (without the baby falling out the top, anyway )

i just feel like all i do at the moment is whinge. i whinge on here, i whinge on my postnatal thread, i whinge to my friends, my parents, DH.....whinge whinge whinge. i bore myself.

OP posts:

JodieG1 · 09/05/2007 15:14

Definitely reccomend co sleeping. My ds2 still wakes 3-4 times betwee 8/9pm and 5.30isham every night. It's tiring but dh gets up with him in the morning to give me a little more sleep. My dh is in the spare room hehe. Often ds2 wakes in the night and stays up fo 1-2 hours too

You are doing great and just go with it, it won't last for much longer

JodieG1 · 09/05/2007 15:16

UD - I posted on post natal a while back how much I love my hugabub, it's fab and so easy to use. Plus ds2 loves it hugabub

JodieG1 · 09/05/2007 15:18

Oh and you can bend dowm easily with this sling, baby is tight to your body. See the pics on the link.

Original poster

theUrbanDryad · 09/05/2007 15:43

what is it with all these dh/p's getting up to be with their babies first thing in the morning? dh actually said "Well there's no chance i'm going to get an extra half hour's sleep now is there?" after our blazing row this morning....i think i might have to show him this thread....

OP posts:

JodieG1 · 09/05/2007 15:58

UD he does need to get up with him in the morning imo, you're up a lot during the night and it's really hard getting through the day after that. The least he can do is get up with the baby in the morning. At least he gets a full night's sleep unlike you.

JodieG1 · 09/05/2007 17:24

Bumping for you

Swizzler · 09/05/2007 17:30

I really feel for you UD, DS has always been a rubbish sleeper tho gradually improving (he's 7 months). It is debilitating and often there's no reason for it. Starting solids actually madeDS's sleep worse to start with so I wd hold off. I stay (reasonably) sane by:

napping with DS in the afternoons where poss (try anf get chores done in the morning - or leave them - or get help in)
co-sleepin after certain point at night - if DS wakes after 4am I bring him into bed with us

also cd you get some nice new tops? I invested in some good moisteriser and feel much better for it

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