Like others have said, definitely keep an open mind and see how you feel at the time. If you opt to bottle feed in the end, it doesn’t take much preparation. Babies Cana be fed by syringe or cup to start so you don’t even need bottles, though having some miltons for sterilising is helpful however you feed because you may need to sterilise breast pump bits, etc even if breastfeeding.
Personally I don’t like people touching my breasts (for no reason specifically). I also had a really traumatic time bf my first because she was born a bit early and struggled to feed and it was really awful. She was ff from 10 weeks.
My 2nd is 4 weeks now and he has been bf and it’s all been fine and relatively easy. It’s actually been very healing in terms of the trauma I have experienced and I don’t feel put off by it, even though I still don’t like anyone else touching my breasts. It’s very different.
But the reality is either is perfectly fine and having done both, I don’t see a difference in terms of how hard it is now or how much bonding I or my dh get. My dh has had plenty of time with both of them, does all baths, does changing when he’s home, he has baby all evening from 5-midnight except feeds while I have a shower, sleep, etc. And frankly, I think he’s probably grateful he’s getting more sleep this time as I don’t need his help with bottle feeding during the night (with our dd, he made the bottles). Both were absolutely fine, but I’m still grateful I’ve bf this time and had a positive experience with it when I didn’t think I could. But if I changed my mind, I still could always stop so it’s nice to have that flexibility too. Whatever you do, as long as it feels right that’s what matters but I wouldn’t worry about having to decide now. You have plenty of time.