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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Breastfeeding or bottle?

15 replies

Pickles31 · 20/03/2018 19:54

Hello, I’m 7 weeks pregnant and just been to my first midwife appt. she gave me a folder with lots to read and booked me in for my first scan. I’m still wondering whether to breast feed or bottle feed and I’m more thinking towards bottle feeding as then my husband can help with feeding. Another reason I’m not keen on breast feeding is due to events which happened in my early childhood which whenever I think of breast feeding makes me feel weird. I don’t want to make a decision yet as to what to do but is it normal to feel unsure of what is best? I don’t want to feel pressured into doing breast feeding if I’m unsure. Help

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GummyGoddess · 20/03/2018 20:02

I planned to bottle feed from birth as I had always hated the idea of breastfeeding (bought perfect prep machine before even starting ttc), then changed my mind and decided to do two weeks breastfeeding with supplementary bottles. Got to two weeks and decided I hadn't tried enough and went for 6. At 6 weeks I realised how happy it made DC and thought I'd just do it until after his first immunisations, then until Christmas, then until the 16 week ones. I think Christmas was when I stopped the one formula feed he was on. Then realised I was over halfway to 6 months and might as well continue. At 6 months I decided to let DC carry on as long as he wanted as it made him so happy.

I ended up actually enjoying breastfeeding after I had got through the hard part where I had to teach myself and DC how to do it with no experience. Ended up feeding until DC weaned himself off at just over a year when I was pregnant again and my milk dried up a bit.

You don't need to decide right now. You might decide you really want to do it after having DC, or you might immediately feel that it's not for you and bottle feed from birth. I'd say go in with an open mind and see how you feel once baby is here, take pre made formula bottles with you if you're having baby in hospital in case that's the way you want to go, and make your mind up after birth.

YerAuntFanny · 20/03/2018 20:05

Completely normal, lots of parenting decisions seem like such a big deal but tbh many (such as this) really don't matter in the long run so just do what you're comfortable with.

You've plenty of time yet to decide so take some time to read up and get information on both so you can make the choice that's right for you. No one should pressure you.

The only thing I will say is that if you are in any way unsure after the birth then you could try breastfeeding just to see, if you don't like it then switch to bottles. It's easier to do that than switching to breast later.

Pickles31 · 20/03/2018 20:12

Thank you everybody yes I will see how I feel nearer the time 🙂 feeling all over the place at the moment hormones up and down. Will be glad when I have had the first scan and can tell my workplace and others.

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TittyGolightly · 20/03/2018 20:14

I’m more thinking towards bottle feeding as then my husband can help with feeding.

Your husband can help with breastfeeding too.

jeepsinbeepsfoxonbox · 20/03/2018 20:15

Completely normal, lots of parenting decisions seem like such a big deal but tbh many (such as this) really don't matter in the long run so just do what you're comfortable with.

This is so true! Everything seems like a massive deal when you have a new life to think about, but my dd is 3 now and looking back, some of the things I got myself in such a state over, really are nothing at all.

When you go to give birth, my advice would be to be prepared both ways. I planned to breastfeed but I still brought in a bottle of ready made formula just in case. As it turned out, she was breastfed until she was 3 (and never would drink from a bottle whether it contained formula or my painstakingly expressed breast milk),

It's very early days for you still, who's to say how you will feel when you have a baby in your arms. You might feel weird about breastfeeding still, or you want feel like giving it a go. Only do what you feel comfortable with, but don't worry about being uncertain at the moment. Not even the most well-planned and organised of us can predict what will happen in the future.

jeepsinbeepsfoxonbox · 20/03/2018 20:16

Sorry so many typos, I hope you can make sense of that!

Passmethecrisps · 20/03/2018 20:24

There is little point in making any firm decision right now.

I was a theoretical expert in BFing with DD1 - I could tell you everything and had read everything. But for reasons unknown to anyone she would latch but not suckle. I destroyed myself over my ‘failure’ and formula fed her. In actual fact she had very severe reflux and CMPI so in many ways formula feeding helped me certainly as I was obsessive about logging volumes. I cried about the ‘faff’ of bottles and how to safely feed her when out and about. But we found a way and managed fine.

Dd2 I was non-commital. However she came out and latched immediately. I breastfed her without particular incident for 8 months. She also has CMPI and had the same crash of birth weight which is often a symptom. However, it just seemed to suit. One day though a switched flipped in my head and I was ready to move on and we are now FF.

Sorry - the reason I am going on at length is that I wish I had understood how vital the actual baby is in making this decision. I know many women who have gone to enormous efforts to stabilise BFing as that was what was right for them. But FFing is fine.

When baby is in your arms and your body starts to give you messages is when you can properly move things on.

Passmethecrisps · 20/03/2018 20:28

It might be worth explaining the point about the assistance of partners in BFing.

With FFing the theory is that every second feed or every second night could be shared with partner this ensuring that you get a good rest.

It might seem that with BFing that cannot be the case but it can. You could express and a bottle could be given by partner in the evening while you get a few hours rest. Or partner can do settling or nappy changes after feeds.

With my second she settled on the breast and never needed her nappy changed so both those idea were redundant. What he did so though was take baby immediately after her early morning feed and gave me a decent sleep. Sometimes it was as short as 20 minutes gives the reality of two children and him having to get to work but that 20 minutes was great. You having boobs does not mean that all responsibility is absolved

TittyGolightly · 20/03/2018 20:35

It might seem that with BFing that cannot be the case but it can. You could express and a bottle could be given by partner in the evening while you get a few hours rest. Or partner can do settling or nappy changes after feeds.

Or he can bring you a snack and a drink while you settle in for feeding.

Pickles31 · 20/03/2018 20:42

Thanks so much everybody this really helps and I am grateful for the informative responses 😊 my husbands mum said to me I shouldn’t feel a failure if I don’t breast feed etc, but like u all say it’s early days yet. I think I just find it hard not having my mum around too so websites like this are brilliant!

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MadeForThis · 20/03/2018 21:00

I'm currently bf dd2. But while I was pregnant with dd1 I couldn't grasp bf. The idea made me feel weird. I thought that I would try it and if I didn't like it I would ff.

Fortunately both myself and Dd took to it really easily. I have lots of friends who bf and lots who ff. which one you choose is up to you.

While I'm a massive advocate of bf I most strongly believe that fed is fed. And whatever makes the mum happiest makes baby happiest.

Why not try bf and decide then which suits you best.

Congratulations on your new arrival.

mindutopia · 21/03/2018 09:29

Like others have said, definitely keep an open mind and see how you feel at the time. If you opt to bottle feed in the end, it doesn’t take much preparation. Babies Cana be fed by syringe or cup to start so you don’t even need bottles, though having some miltons for sterilising is helpful however you feed because you may need to sterilise breast pump bits, etc even if breastfeeding.

Personally I don’t like people touching my breasts (for no reason specifically). I also had a really traumatic time bf my first because she was born a bit early and struggled to feed and it was really awful. She was ff from 10 weeks.

My 2nd is 4 weeks now and he has been bf and it’s all been fine and relatively easy. It’s actually been very healing in terms of the trauma I have experienced and I don’t feel put off by it, even though I still don’t like anyone else touching my breasts. It’s very different.

But the reality is either is perfectly fine and having done both, I don’t see a difference in terms of how hard it is now or how much bonding I or my dh get. My dh has had plenty of time with both of them, does all baths, does changing when he’s home, he has baby all evening from 5-midnight except feeds while I have a shower, sleep, etc. And frankly, I think he’s probably grateful he’s getting more sleep this time as I don’t need his help with bottle feeding during the night (with our dd, he made the bottles). Both were absolutely fine, but I’m still grateful I’ve bf this time and had a positive experience with it when I didn’t think I could. But if I changed my mind, I still could always stop so it’s nice to have that flexibility too. Whatever you do, as long as it feels right that’s what matters but I wouldn’t worry about having to decide now. You have plenty of time.

hethajf · 21/03/2018 15:27

I was adamant from getting my bfp that I was going to bottle feed, various reasons, some may be similar to yours. Right through the pregnancy I shunned the idea of breastfeeding, to be honest (please don’t bite mumsnetters!) the thought of it grossed me out and I didn’t even like to see friends breastfeed their little ones. When DD was born, she just sort of nuzzled in, latched on, and that was that. I breastfed her up until her first birthday. My sister in the other hand, desperatly wanted to breastfeed her little one but just couldn’t. She had all sorts of problems at at 6 weeks PP she’d had enough and has bottle fed ever since. Our babies are similar ages, fed completely differently (I BF and did baby led, she bottle bed and is spoon feeding), yet they’re both perfectly happy and healthy.
I guess you can make your mind up now, but be prepared for a very different feeling once you meet your baby ;-) xx

Pickles31 · 21/03/2018 19:19

Thanks so much again ladies this has really helped 😊 and put my mind at ease. I think I’m just hoping now that my nausea starts to wean off soon as it’s making me just want to sleep everyday after work x

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Hadders87 · 21/03/2018 19:48

I planned to breastfeed but ds arrived 4weeks early so was tube fed and was a lazy sucker so we did bottle feeding. I can not recommend it enough as helps the dads and other family members feed and bond, it's convenient and keeps them fuller for longer so don't wake as frequent as breastfeeding. Of course there are benefits to breastfeeding so have a think but perhaps plan for both and just see how you go xx

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