Advance preparation: miles from any advice, it seems

[thelady]

Right. Once a scientist, always a scientist, it seems. I'm only 10 weeks pregnant with my first (after 4 years of trying!), but want to think about/find out about help and advice available for breastfeeding.

I live in the Borders. The nearest NCT class of any kind is 45 miles away (an hour on A-roads) and there doesn't seem to be anything like La Leche in the Borders at all.

Everyone seems to be telling me that it's important to get to a good antenatal class, and have access to a real live advisor - so what can I do? The Borders is horribly set in its ways (one hospital, no midwife-led birthing centres, strongly discourage home births....) and I'm starting to get even more nervous about what it'll be like after the big event.

Can someone provide reassurance ?

I have to say, speaking as a first-time mother, I didn't find any of the pre-birth preparation particularly useful. It's too theoretical and totally, totally different when you have a real live baby wriggling around. Plus the problems you face may not be the ones they address as they can't cover every eventuality.

I would say take advantage of every opportunity you can and maybe try to watch a video showing the right way to get the baby to latch on, but don't stress too much. You may find it a breeze from day one and not need any help.

I don't mean to knock BF counsellors btw, I think they are fantastic, but what I am trying to say is, don't feel as if you are automatically set up to fail just because you don't have face-to-face access to one.

I didn't do anything you mention and was absolutely fine. What about setting up your own NCT type thing? You can't be the only woman in the area expecting a baby and take advantage of the gap and ask the Dr to help you all get together.

By the way I did go to a breast feeding class when expecting DD1 and fell about laughing most of the type (particularly when they gave me plastic doll to pretend to latch on when I was 8 1/2 month pregnant). The other thing I found they where very 'this is the way to have a baby' and everything else unacceptable/wrong. Din't like it at all. Second time round (4 years later) found breastfeeding just as much a learning curve, you forget what to do!

Where you breastfed? I ask because apparently if you were breastfed statistic show you are more likely to get on/ enjoy the experience and those mothers that weren't breastfed.

I agree, MissG - and I am a breastfeeding counsellor

I think we are of more use afterwards, if - and I mean if - people have problems.

A good book and/or video, plus some reading on sites like mumsnet, is accessible to everyone.

Classes are useful for some, but absolutely not essential.

I did mean to knock breastfeeding counsellors! [big grin]

tictok there are sensible breastfeeding counsellors then. I never did get what use a plastic doll was going to do me.

Hey
Congratulations on being pregnant!! Well done!
I am a mum of five and have breast fed the last three children. In fact still feeding the 19mth old at night.

I didn't feed the first 2 due to severe anxiety and lack of support and probably being with the wrong partner. However, like you when I made up my mind to do it I really went for it. I went toa breast feeding workshop run by my local hospital but to be honest it didn't help much practically when it came to actually doing it. However, it did empower me and make me think "Yes, I can do this".
When the baby was born I was lucky to have supportive midwives around andthey were great. But it's not easy - it is like trying to get a wriggling sea monster to stay put in one place while you attach its' succkers to a very small target!! Ha!!

Time! Patience! Good friends and a calm environment where you and your baby get to know each other well - all these things will help!
I also believe that swaddling the baby is good. It does give the baby security but also keeps those sharp little fingers away from delicate boobs. Oh and lansinoh -get it now and use it often!!

I am thinking of becoming an on-line breast feeding counsellor and would love to help you if I can. xxxx

Take Care and enjoy your pregnancy. Breast feeding will happen or not but you will always love your little bundle and the ideal thing is for both of you to be happy!!

Susan xxx

Here's a group in Kelso - any good?

I agree with all the above. It might be a breeze for you and there's support available online and on the phone.

My antenatal classes were good for having something to do at the time really but all the information went entirely out of my head come the actual experience!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did with both of mine.
I did not go to any classes either.
When I had just given birth, the first thing they did was hand me the sweetest little princess, and once they had cleaned me up and all the mess I had made, one of the midwifes just said "right let's get you two started on breastfeeding, this is how you do it". Afterwards when you get up to the ward, whenever you need to breastfeed, if you don't feel confident, call the nurses and they will help you. Please call them, as otherwise you might end up with REALLY, REALLY sore nipples.

But (re maisemor's experience) your midwives may not have had specific training in breastfeeding, bar the odd hour here and there. Great if you get some who have, though.

I think given your location just read up in advance (check out kellymom.com in particular), take a note of the helpline numbers (NCT Breastfeeding line 0870 444 8708, Breastfeeding Network 0870 900 8787, La Leche 0845 120 2918, Association of Breastfeeding Mothers 0870 401 7711), and call them and post here if you do run into difficulties. If you just read all the answers tiktok and mears give to the various "I'm having bf problems" threads on here in the next 30 weeks you'll be much better informed than the vast majority of first-time mothers and (darn it, I'm going to say it) the vast majority of health professionals.

MissGolightly & tiktok: thanks for the reassurance that it may just 'work'.

MaryP0p1: Yes, all three of the children in my family were breastfed - mum said the only problem was afterpains so severe she had to take my sister off so that she (mum) could breathe! Mum is, unfortunately, 8000 miles away, and MIL only bf her first for a few weeks (told that both her kids were too big to be breastfed successfully at 12 - 14 lbs!)

ScottishSusan: Thanks for the offer of advice when/if I need it. Knowing mumsnet is there is making me a lot less twitchy about the whole thing

shonaspurtle: No I didn't know there was a group in Kelso - I'd not heard of that organisation so didn't know to look. Kelso is 12 miles away, so definitely reachable!

maisemor: I do hope the nurses here are good!

lemonaid: Stopping me from reading is going to be the problem, I think....

Again, thank you all for the reassurance/advice.

Feeling much better now.

Oh good - glad you are feeling positive. I think the one tiny downside of internet support sites is that they can give the impression that life is full of terrors and pitfalls.

No-one ever comes on to post "my new baby is a dream, breast-feeding is a breeze, I never suffer any discomfort and my relationship with my partner is better than ever", partly because no doubt everyone would punch them! But these people do exist, they're just keeping quiet about their good fortune.

MissGolightly has a good point, but I do think it's worthwhile being aware at least of the many, many myths about breastfeeding before hand just in case - you'll hear a lot of stories like your MIL's before you're done...

I like Dr Jack Newman's handouts about breastfeeding myths - lots of other good stuff here too.