4 weeks to night wean my 21 month old

[OhWhatAPalaver]

Please help me to stop bfing my 21 month old. I am done in, physically and mentally. She still wakes several times a night, will only be fed back to sleep and I can't cope any more. I've got till the end of the easter holidays to sort it out because me and my partner are too exhausted to do it while we are at work and we both have two weeks off at Easter.
She screams to the point of making herself sick if she is told no boob, nothing else works and my partner can't get her to go to sleep at all. I feel like I might have to just sleep elsewhere for a few nights so she has no choice but I will feel terrible and I don't want her to think I've abandoned her.
I don't want to co sleep as she feeds even more but she does end up in our bed most nights at some point as I just get to the point where I can't take any more and need sleep. This has only been happening for about a couple of months as she was poorly with chicken pox and ended up in our bed a lot but now she wants to sleep in it every night. She has always woken a lot though, no matter where she sleeps.
I think the worst thing is that it's all down to me feeding her. No one else can get her to sleep because she associates it so strongly with being bf to sleep.
For her naps she has to go out in her buggy for a few minutes and then she falls asleep but obviously we can't do that at night.
Please help me, I am losing my mind.

OhWhat hace you read Dr Jay Gordon’s night Weaning method? Think that might help

Good luck!

Two tactics:

1)work on the day naps first; they are usually easier to sort out
2)reduce the length of the nightfeeds gradually

Yes, defintely work on the naps too. Have you read the No Cry Nap Solution?

Are you wanting to stop completely, or just at nighttime?

I'd change the bedtime routine and tell her that you can't give her any milk after she's brushed her teeth.

So PJs
Milk
Teeth
Story
Cuddle
Bed

I'd then sit there, on a chair next to her cot and just repeat that it is time to go to sleep now every few minutes or so.

For night wakings, I'd offer her a drink of water and then do the same.

Set a time that you're happy with to be classified as the morning and then tell yourselves that you have to get up and start your day at that point.

Any hunger should shift very quickly and she should understand.

She doesn't actually feed in the day at all now. She probably would if I let her but its much easier to distract her during the day.
The day time naps aren't really an issue as once she's asleep in her buggy she has a good nap but night times are another story!!
Will check out the Jay Gordon method, thanks for the advice.