Am I doing this night weaning thing all wrong? HELP!

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

I should start by saying that i really don't mind feeding my 19mo DS during the night. the problem was that he would latch on at 4am-ish and would climb all over me and not let go til i took him off at which point he would scream.
not a good way to start the day.
so we had sleep bootcamp. step one - i stopped feeding him to sleep. Now he doesn't even ask for it at bedtime. he cuddles in and goes to sleep (eventually!!)
step two - stop feeding him during the night. but he wakes up at 2am every damn night and when i won't give him boob he SCREAMS. it lasts for a good hour most nights. then he goes to sleep (by which point we;re ALL exhausted) he then ususally wakes up at 5ish when DH gets up for work and i feed him then.
should i just not be feeding him at all at night? could feeding him at 5 be confusing him?
why does he not need it to fall asleep in the first place but NEED it at 2am?
last night we were up from 3 til 5. he drank some milk from a cup but still would ask for 'guppa' and scream when i said no.

oh god. this is hard. on all of us!

.

It is hard. Nothing but sympathy for you.

I only managed to crack sleep weaning when DH was on holiday and could go in and give DD a bottle with cows milk at night without having to get up for work!

If she even heard me it would be all over but if she thought I wasn't there it worked okay, had to do it for about 3 nights and then I offered her cows milk which was okay, sometimes she would only take a sip.

After a few weeks she got offered water and then nothing, she still wakes now but doesn't ask for anything.
I made a rule for myself that she wouldn't be fed from me before 7 am, didn't always manage it but most of the time I did!

Good luck, it sucks I know. (DD was 13 months when I weaned her)

i asked dh to take a week off to srot this. he took off two days. is it sorted? is it fuck!

Poor you, it is really tough I know,
To make you feel better 'accidentally' kick him everytime the baby wakes and you have to get up so the bruises give him an incentive to be a bit more helpful.

DS is in bed with us so DH is waking up as well. I think most of the town are waking up to his sccreams!!
last night it wasn't as bad. he only screamed for about 15 - 20 min or so.
the night before was baaaaaddddd.

he screamed and screamed. we ended up watching Boo! at 3am just to get him to settle down. finally dozed off just in time for DH to get up for work.

it will get better. it will get better. it will get better...

I'm sure thast at his age he doesn't actually need feeding at any point in thew night. If it was a pleasant and relaxing experience then it would be a different matter for you all. It's habit for him now, and trying to change it is as upsetting and irrational for him as insisting that you sleep in the wardrobe would be for you.

Unless you're willing to tough it out withh CC in one of its forms, then I think that the only way you're going to be able to change this is by taking lots of little steps, as Chirpygirl did, slowly and consistently over a period of weeks.

You may also need to move him out of your bed, as having you tbhere but unavailable must be ghugely frustrating for him. Remember that he can smell you and be aware of your presence, and find you, even whewn he is fast asleep.

Have you had a lpook at books like The No Cry Sleep Solution, and the Baby Whisperer books?

the no cry sleep solution had very little in the way of solutions for our situation. that's what i think anyway.
I know it'll all work out in the end. it's just frustrating.

I think taking away the boob is stressfull enough for him (and us) putting him in his own bed or own room would just be harder i think.

there are no quick fixes i guess!

What if you slept in anotyher room for a wouple of weeks? That way he would not be alone (I presume your dh would still be happy to co-sleep?) but would not be tormented by boob.

WOOO HOOO!!!!

He slept through til 4:30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(the only trouble is that i have now been up since 4:30!! at least HE went back to sleep!!)

Purple, I am thinking of trying this with my 9 mth old, but might wait a bit more.

It's so hard.
Even tho it's tempting to put the telly on to soothe him I wouldn't as he will then expect that. It's just another crutch.
Does he always sleep in with you all night??

DH will just have to take longer off to help unless he wants to be screamed at everynight wont he[evil grin]

DD2 is very attached to boob, so want to get her off before age one as that is when they form the emotional attachment as well as the physical need thing. Which is probably why your ds is having a hard time letting go.

Glad he seems to be improving. He should hopefully scream less and less each night until he realises it's not worth it.

Stay strong, and good luck.

that's 2 nights in a row without screaming!! he woke up a couple of times but i just cuddled him til he went back to sleep.

yes, i realize that by cuddling him to sleep i am creating another 'habit' but we're taking baby steps with this. after all he is a baby!

Hooray! Keep going - it's very hard to break the boob-to-sleep attachment, but if you can instill another attachment it's much easier to move on from there.

Remember that making this change is going to be a dance, not a progression, ie you may take two steps forward and one back. What I'm trying to break to you - gently - is that tonight may not go as well, but do not be discouraged by that.

not discouraged at all!
2 pretty good nights in a row is damn good! he's getting a cold so tonight may be bad again. but i konw we can do this!

Nothing wrong with cuddling

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