2.5 week old feeding constantly- Knackered

[whywhywhy]

my lovely 19 day old baby boy is gaining weight beautifully and we are exclusively bfing after a shaky start with raging hunger at 2 days before milk came in, and formula topups at night for 2 nights after that.

However, I am totally strung out because trying to care for ds2, aged 3 and 9 months, and baby goes through 3/4 hour patches of wanting to feed constantly and screaming when off the boob. Last night it was 6.30 to 8.30 pm (nice, just when doing dinner and bed for ds1) and then 12.30 am to 4.30 am. In desperation I gave him 2 bottles of ebm and he took 5 oz but still needed bfing to sleep! Then ds2 woke up at 6.30. I feel a bit psychotic.

He is now still asleep having woken for a brief feed at 8.30 am. Should I wake him up now? He was sleeping all night, feeding at 10, 2 and 6, for a good week or so. How can I encourage this to happen again?

also, he only sleeps about 14 hours total in the whole 24. How 'normal' is that really? I'm a bit worried about him.

Thanks for any advice/inspiration, I feel so strung out and weepy.

Oh, why.....this is so tiring I know.

Your baby is normal, and it sounds like he is a baby who needs to be close to you.

Find a sling that allows him to do this comfortably, and which allows you to have hands free.

Can you arrange for help in the evenings, so someone else can do the bathing and dinner?

I hope things get better.

Hi,
I can't help at all but I didn't want your message to slip off the board! I hope somebody comes along with some advice (if not, do bump up your message until you get some!)
Judd xx

You have my sympathy, sleep deprivation and a still little, older sibling are a nightmare but it will get easier. Why? Because this looks like a typical case of 3 week growth spurt. Let him suckle when he insists and he'll build up your milk in about 24 to 48 hours to reach his new requirements. I know it's hard but try not to fill him up with formula or he'll not get your supply sorted out and you may hit problems. I know it doesn't sound likely but a day or two should sort it out if you can ride the issue until then. Good luck

Don't worry about his sleeping patterns, some of them are like that. DS1 never slept for more than 2 hours at a stretch in the night and only took a couple of 10 minute catnaps (when arranged on his father chest) during the day. It's hardest on you but he'll sleep if he wants to. I don't think you can make them change their patterns by waking them but I'm sure others might disagree.

I'm glad you think he's behaving normally! he seems so wakeful. V. alert and quiet except when he seems hungry. When he is awake, I almost always carry him but that doesn't seem to solve the crying- he wants boob and that's it.

Dh is normally around to help in the evenings but he's doing a trial in Lincoln for 3 days, hence my anxiety attack(s).

Think I'm going to wake ds2 up now for a feed, worried he's sleeping too long in the day...

Oh, you so have my sympathy. I can't help with the feeding issues as the 3 week mark is a complete blur (although I do recall a growth spurt) to me but as Tiktok suggested wearing her in a sling during the day really, really helped. She just needed that closeness and I found the sling settled her so she slept more in the day and as a result as more settled at night and at least it allowed me to get on with a few things.

Hang in there, I know you have another one so you do know this, but it does get better. My dd has just turned 1 so I think I am reliving those really tough early weeks at the moment.

hi twofalls, thanks for your sympathy (I really need it atm!) I also can't remember the 3 week mark with ds1, it's similarly a blur, though I remember his first 3 months seeming like a living hell at the time- in retrospect how much easier it was only having 1 child, so that you could just sit/lie down and feed on demand in front of the telly! No chance of that now.

Baby is still asleep! has been since 8.30 am! no chance of a night's sleep tonight I think.

The anxiety and worrying about how you'll cope alone on no sleep is probably the worst bit of this stage, when you have other dcs who need your full attention.

Don't even think about a pattern for the first 6 weeks, and really my DD is only just getting a pattern now, at 4 months. Babies so love to cluster feed in the evenings don't they! We ate oven chips etc for the first few weeks, though my MIL did provide some super meals for us too. The mad feeding settled at about 8 weeks I found, though at the time I didn't think it ever would! Your baby sounds completely normal, and it sounds as if you are doing brilliantly.

I remember thinking "god if I am finding this tough how will I cope if I have two to worry about". It is the lack of sleep that does you in isn't it? DD is ill at the moment so no sleep for 3 nights so I am too feeling a bit psychotic, although I haven't got it as tough as you. You will get through it though, just try to take one day at a time and don't worry about what tomorrow or next week might bring.. Do you have anyone else at all who can help out a bit so you can get some sleep/feed ds in peace/cook you a meal?

Oh WWW - just wanted to add support. He sounds very normal and & it does get better. Bound to be hard for the 3 days that dh is away - do you have a friend who could drop a lasagne or cottage pie round or something just to save you a job? Is bringing back memories of peeling potatoes with dd feeding in a sling!