Giving up BF - talk me into it

[BabyOrSanta]

During pregnancy I was adamant I was going to bf.
The first few weeks were fine then we got thrush which is agony. Then it was getting better and I got mastitis which left me barely able to function for 2 days. Then we got thrush again and I have a painful lump in my breast again.
DD is 6 weeks old and had a little formula yesterday and a full formula feed last night.
I've seen the HV from hell who is the only one specialising in bf round here and I won't see her again.
DD has only put on one pound since birth (although she has grown longer).
I've been pumping with the occasional feed for the last 2 weeks.

So, please tell me all the benefits of ff so that I can ease my conscience as I can't keep up pumping and feeding bottles anymore

Not talking you into or out of anything- you ned to do what works best for you. The breastfeeding dream never happened for me because my baby was very jaundiced for days and the priority was to feed him loads to that he gets it out of his system. I have been expressing from the beginning and mainly formula feeding, and it works. I think the ship for BF has sailed for me as I am not making enough milk now he is 5 weeks, but I enjoy expressing and feeding him my milk when I can. Baby is growing well and closing a gap between full term babies (he was 4 weeks premature) and although I regret not being able to bf, I know we did the right thing getting him on the bottle- as it was the only option for us.

It sounds like you've had a really tough time and it would be very understandable for you to stop bf. Like pp it's not for me to talk you in or out of doing it. I think you've just got to make the decision you feel you can be at peace with when you look back. I bf my DS for about 2 weeks before switching to ff, I'm now 11 weeks in bf with DD and it's been hard but we've been lucky so far with no thrush or mastitis (touch wood we don't get struck down now!).
Formula these days is so well developed and regulated and the important thing is that your DC is fed and has a mostly happy mummy.
Can you get to any bf support groups near you if they exist or ring one of the bf helplines (NCT, National breastfeeding line, association of breastfeeding mothers) to talk it through before you make a decision?

Sorry to read about the jaundice
I had it when I was born which meant DM couldn't feed me at all so you are doing really well to express! It's such a bloody faff. Do you manage to express when out and about (maybe I'm the only one who gets cabin fever after a few days...)?

Happy Mum makes for a happy baby. As long as they are getting fed one way or another. Sounds like you've done amazing to carry on for 6 weeks. Just do what you need to do so you can concentrate on enjoying your baby xx

I think that I really need hands on support with trying to get her latch properly sorted out but there doesn't seem to be anyone able to help (rural Lincolnshire).
She has such a tiny mouth that won't open fully and the anxiety of getting her feeding is too much now. I'm waking at stupid o clock feeling sick and shaky and I'm not looking after myself at all. Which I know isn't helping. I need to get back to being me and looking after my baby and actually enjoying having her rather than dreading every feed.

The positives I can come up with:
I can always make more formula
I know how much she's eating and can be sure she's full
It's got all the vitamins and minerals in she needs
I can drink and eat whatever I want
I don't have to worry about expressing or my supply going haywire

Tbh a pound in 6 weeks sounds like a very very small gain. Unless you're madly passionate about breastfeeding and willing to hire a lactation consultant, pump round the clock, investigate tongue tie etc etc to increase the amount of milk your baby is getting (and I know some people do) then I would seriously advise upping the formula. You don't have to give up breastfeed completely if you don't want to, and going cold turkey is a bad idea anyway, but it does sound like something isn't working for you and your baby.

I beat myself up about giving up breastfeeding. I would never argue that breastmilk isn't 'best' for baby, but formula doesn't do any harm. When I gave up breastfeeding, life became enjoyable again and I started to enjoy the days I spent with my baby. It improved life for the both of us. I wished, in the end that I'd done it sooner tbh.

You have done 6 weeks, that's great, so many benefits! You could, if you wanted to, keep up a feed or two a day and formular feed the rest of the time. I'm doing that with DC2 and have done since he was 3 weeks old. Now that he is almost 6 weeks, he is bf at night because it's easy and he only wakes once, and he's breastfed once or twice in the day if he is tired or cranky in between bottle feeds. The rest are formula feeds and he's getting 90-95% of his milk from a bottle. The flexibility is lovely.

www.lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/ If you want to push on, you can search here for a lactation consultant

I’ve just given up breastfeeding as my DD has a suspected allergy and the doctor wanted a quick assessment on special formula.
When you stop, your hormones go bloody haywire. It’s like PMS on speed. Just to warn you! But it calms down in a week.
Advantages for me having stopped at 5 weeks (she’s 7 weeks now so it’s a very recent thing):

• I know exactly how much she is eating
• my husband can help with feeds
• I am no longer obsessing about what I eat in case it’s upsetting her tummy
• feeds are quicker so I have more time to do things with her and for myself

I really wanted breastfeeding to work out. I cried many tears when I gave her the first bottle and I lay awake at night with a pounding heart when my husband fed her. But overall it was the right decision for us and I hope you find the right way for you too. X

I express 4-5 times a day, less when I'm out or when baby is fussy and i spend hours cuddling or feeding him. I want to keep the supply going as long as I can, a good pump and 30 minutes expressing when I have time, and I make between 50-70 ml each time, which I use either as full meals or top-ups after formula if he is still hungry. Was told its better than just formula if possible.It is hard, as you need to feed the baby, then pump, then sterilise everything, and not always possible, but h, will continue as long as I can. Good luck as well!
Also, not sure what your family situation is, but formula feeding allowed my partner to feed the baby as well, so additional lie in for me from time to time, hehe!

I fought and fought and fought breastfeeding. I had a haemorrhage at birth and had an absolute piss poor milk supply as a result. Anyway, I just wasn't making enough. We had to supplement with formula and my supply was just getting less and less. It got to the stage where my little one was 3 months and everyone, including the health visitor told me I really needed to stop trying to breastfeed. I wasn't sleeping because I was all night power pumping.

I got myself a perfect prep machine and for the first time, felt stress free and really enjoyed every second.

Little one seemed instantly happier, I think she felt full for the first time! I still kept the night time feed going for a while but formula is seriously amazing stuff. I feel guilty for not switching sooner.

I'm expecting dc2 and I feel so relaxed about it this time. I'll try breastfeeding again and I hope it works out but if it doesn't, I'll be using formula without hesitation or guilt.

Enjoy your lovely baby! X

After not bf my first I was adamant I was going to bf my second. Almost from the start it was agony I had all sorts of people's help but it never got better. I cried every time, started sweating when my baby started stirring for a feed and was genuinely miserable. I developed mastitis too and was out for two days. I'm the end I just realised I wasn't going to get this time back with my new squishy baby I wasn't happy and neither was he and from the minute I decided to stop it was like a switch had been flicked. I started enjoying my time with him stopped dreading feeds and have an amazing bond with him. Im a firm believer in milk is best and however baby gets it is down to mothers choice. Happy baby happy mummy

Dc2 is 4 weeks old and im absolutely devastated i couldnt bf. History was repeating itself with repeated infections so i had to give up after 3 days. I cried and i still feel sad. But with every bottle of ff i gave dc the weight and burden lifted everytime.

I was going to write a thread asking if anyone else feels like me as the urge to bf is so strong. 4 weeks later im still producing milk but dc suckle is different and i feel its not worth expressing. Dc2 is purely ff now and thriving and i feel no pain or pressure.

I wish i switched earlier with dc1as it robbed me of bonding sooner during that newborn phase.

Dont be hard on yourself. You are not alone.

You've done really well to get to 6 weeks, it's tough! It sounds like you're ready to stop. If you are, that's absolutely fine. In my personal experience I found I was so much happier when I switched to bottles, and a happy mummy means a happy baby! I just wish I hadn't spent so long feeling guilty about making the switch.

This sounds like a job for mixed feeding. The amazing solution that health professionals will never promote. Try one bottle of formula a day, see how you get on

Well done for ebf up till now, but it sounds like maybe time to try something else

Sounds like you've done amazing to do six weeks through really rough circumstances and I'm sure the baby got the benefit of that.

Like others say it's down to personal choice. I chose not to BF at all and went straight to formula from first feed and I have never regretted my choice. I'm due baby number two in a few days and will do the same this time round.

Baby was happy. I was happy. Husband and family could help.

I felt a lot of judgement initially from midwives but I just didn't care as I felt it was right choice for us as a family.

It's an emotive topic but I think the fact you are so unhappy speaks volumes. You should be looking after yourself and enjoying your beautiful baby. Good luck OP xxx

Try mix feeding. You don’t have to completely stop right away. I had lots of problems with bf my DS and he ended up mix fed for 4 months before we moved fully to formula.

The relief I felt at 6 weeks when I just accepted that he wasn’t going to be exclusively breast fed ever and that I didn’t have to devote my entire day to the endless feeding, expressing, bottle feeding, cleaning all the parts and starting it all again!

To cut a long story very short, for a number of reasons my ds (9 weeks) is combination fed and it's made me able to enjoy him and made him a happier, calmer baby.
My h.v (staunch 'breast is best' campaigner) said to breastfeed for 10-15mins MAX each breast every time he's hungry and then if he's still hungry give him a small bottle of formula. If yes still hungry then I repeat (he rarely is).
I felt terrible to start with but this way he gets breast first and then gets a bellyfull of formula.
It's not for everyone but it works for us.
Good luck OP x

Happy mummy = happy baby, do what works best for you, which sounds like ff.

I breastfed DD1 for 5 weeks DS for 3 months & am still feeding no 3 at 7 Months (& he's huge!) I swear it's all how the baby takes to it.. I honestly never dreamt I'd still be feeding at 7 Months.. but with the others I needed to stop as it was so difficult. 💕💕