Desperate to bf dc2 - can I stay in longer post birth to get it nailed?

[Fuzzyduck21]

Dc2 is due in a few months. I wasn't able to bf dc1 despite going to multiple nct drop ins, lactation consultants, late night pumping sessions, midwives and hv support... He had tongue tie snipped at 10 days by which time I was already giving formula because he wouldn't latch for more than a couple of secs and then pulled off and screamed at my boob (I know supplementing will have worsened the situation but I had a baby that I couldn't pacify and he was obviously hungry and i had no idea what else to do . The lactation consultant said I have breast hypoplasia which is not enough breast tissue. My nipples are also quite small and soft so don't know if that was affecting latch. Theres not much to suck tbh! Tried nipple shields to no avail. Basically I am desperate to try again with this one. Is it possible to stay in hospital for a few days post birth to try and get this nailed? Last time I left after 24hrs but he was a sleepy baby for the first 2 days and didn't feed much so I felt I knew what I was doing but as soon as I left it all went wrong! Just thought if I could stay in for a few days then I will get support precisely when I need it and hopefully go home feeling more prepared. X

With my first I was in 3 days because ds wouldn't latch, not throough choice, they just wouldn't let me go home. So yes, I'd imagine they would support you if you asked to stay, unless desperately short of beds I guess.

Last time I did much better at home as it was more comfortable for me but it still took 6 weeks for ds to latch. Different problem to yours I guess although dp commented yesterday how flat my nipples were compared to now as my now 2 year old still bfs. Hopefully that will help no2 pn his way.

Should have been clear, I ff and expressed for the first 6 weeks, was ready to give up expressing when ds decided to latch. But I don't think he had a tongue tie , he was just sleepy.

I was given the option to stay in to get feeding established. They encouraged me, in fact, to stay to day 3, and would have allowed me another night if I'd wanted it. Was given tonnes of support and no pressure at all to get out. I'm sure you'll be ok to do this if you make your wish to BF and have support with it clear, though I guess it probably depends a bit on your hospital and the team looking after you :)

If there are definite problems and weight loss (so like, a medical reason) it's possible to stay in longer to address those and 'in theory' get some support, but you may not find it very helpful, in my experience. My first was born at home but we were admitted to hospital on day 3 because of weight loss as she had latch issues (I also have flat nipples). We spent 5 full days on the ward for 'breastfeeding support'. Honestly, in 5 days time, no one ever came to observe a feed or really help me at all. They would bring me formula and tell me they were too busy to help. Eventually, one lovely nurse (I think?) brought me nipple shields and showed me how to use them and that did help a lot. I was able to feed for a further 6 weeks using those but then due to a cascade of problems, eventually had to stop completely. So we at least got some time in which I was happy about, but not as long as I had hoped. If your hospital is known for having amazing bf support that isn't available in the community, then you may find it helpful.

But personally I think I would have benfited from being at home in my own bedroom, able to relax, eat when I wanted, have my dh's help, and to have sought out community support. I didn't find out until later that actually none of the midwives, paeds, nurses, etc. that I saw in hospital really had much bf training. That's probably why they mostly ignored me. But there is loads of support at the community level here. I'm due with #2 any day now and I have the days and times of all the local bf groups. I have a doula who is a peer supporter and will help me in the days after. I have the names and contact details of the other peer supporters and bf counselors who I can see privately for one on one consultations, etc. For me, I think that will be way more helpful than being on the ward (which was awful to be honest!). But I think it depends on what resources are available on the ward, how busy they tend to be, etc.

If you are determined to bf then maybe get in touch with a few lactation consultants beforehand to see which ones are willing to do Home visits. I also struggled feeding DD1 and ended up expressing for around 12 weeks until I nearly had a breakdown and gave up. DD2 had almost the exact same rubbish start & I ended up expressing full time with her too but continued to see the lactation consultant. At 5 weeks she latched on for around a minute and fed. Within a week she had gone from having all bottles to none at all! Even if you have another rocky start maybe keep seeing your LC!