Nursing aversion/night weaning advice please

[Sparrowlegs248]

Ds2 is 11 months old. He is mostly bf with the exception of a bottle of formula at bedtime. This was to enable my husband to put him to bed and avoid him being a bottle refused like Ds1, and therefore relying solely on me. He eats well, has a couple of bf in the day, very efficient and short feeds all round .

I've separated from husband so it's still me doing every feed including the bedtime bottle . He wakes to feed/be comforted overnight quite a few times. I co sleep and up until now have happily just fed him back to sleep which is usually very quick with one or two proper feeds .

The last couple of weeks though it's as if my body is screaming "noooo" at these night wakings. Actual proper feeds are OK but I'm at the stage here I can't stand him touching me at night. I feel awful about it as he roots around with his mouth open, I know a few seconds of sucking will have him back to sleep but I literally can't stomach it. So he cries. And paws at me. And I worry about him waking his brother. I've bf them one after the other for 2.5 yrs now. It's just these night time comfort feeds that I can't carry on with.

Any advice on stopping feeling like this, or stopping hime doing it? He does take a dummy happily at all times except these times

I feel terrible for feeling like this

Wow i know that feeling, you described it so well! I'd try to get him in his own bed now. It will be harder for a while i know, but if you leave it longer it will be worse!
It sounds like he is almost eating more at night than daytime! What solids does he have? Maybe give his biggest meal at night before bed to fill him more and put goodnight milk in his bottle. Then if he wakes just offer water in a bottle. He wont like it but will likely adjust after just a few nights. I hope that helps and well done for all the breastfeeding, I could only ever manage 4 months before tearing my hair out x

He goes to bed in his cot, and I usually resettle him in there once before Co sleeping . The company sleeping is really to make night feeds easier for me. I suppose I could put him back in his cot after feeding and hope it reduces his need for a comfort. I sat up and cuddled him back to sleep last night rather than feed him every time. He's fine with that.

I would cosleep more but I have found it results in a poor nights sleep for not just me but baby too. He is a light sleeper anyway, so any movement I make results in him being awake for an hour or so.
Please don't feel bad op. Your body may have its reasons for feeling that way. Either way you have done fantastically with providing food and comfort in this way!
I think he may wake less and sleep more deeply in his own bed and hopefully drop the comfort feeds. A lovie that smells of you may help him feel secure.
I'm just talking from my own limited experience though. Your baby may be completely different to mine. Ds2 now comforts himself back to sleep with his lovie and thumb sucking (not encouraged by me! He just started doing it!).
So in a year or two I will likely be posting "how do i get ds to stop sucking his thumb?"

I co slept with Ds1 out of desperation, he was fully in his own bed and sleeping through by 15 months so I was happy to do it with ds2 too. I do remember having a little of this with Ds1 but I thought it was because I was pregnant (definitely not now!!) And I think he was older. I felt awful this morning.

Just a thought, have you heard of d-mer? Dysphoric milk ejection reflex or something. I think that may be what was happening to me.