Does it get better?

[LadyRenoir]

I already posted once on this board, but seeing how desperate I am and how we have no experience, I think I will be a very frequent visitor, and unfortunately I have no one to talk to and feeling very lonely atm...

Anyway, my baby boy is now 3 weeks old, and premature at 36 weeks.
He was born very jaundiced, and therefore spent most of his days sleeping while we were waking him up for feeds every 2-3 hours.

The jaundice is still there, but hopefully clearing as he has got appetite etc, but each day brings something new and I don't know how to make things better or cope with them.

So the Bean is not only now waking up for his feeds (which is great)- he actually never goes to sleep (not so great). I suspect he is colic and we will see midwife next week to ask her about that. He tends to gulp food down like a maniac and can down 60 ml in something like 5 minutes, but if we take the bottle away from him to burp him, he starts flailing his arms and cries LOUD and a lot. This has only started a few days ago and does seem to be getting worse not better. He finds it quite hard to judge is he is still hungry or not, so sometimes has too much and throws some of it up. He then takes forever to settle down and almost stopped sleeping between meals, which makes things a lot more difficult.

I'm pretty sure I am not the only one- so any words of advice would be so very much appreciated... Please share your stories if you managed to survive this phase (hope it's just the phase!)...

Hi there, sorry to hear your having a hard time and I'm sorry I really don't have much advice as I have breastfed both my boys but I just wanted to say it does get easier, the newborn phase is so hard.
Ds2 is almost 3 months now and has finally got into a bit of a feeding routine and I have my arms free a little more. I would be inclined to say if he wants a bit more food then give him a bit more?i might be wrong but that's what I would do.
I hope it heals better doe you soon, sending hugs.xx

*feels better for you soon

My dd was 36 weeks and bad jaundice. In hosp for one week with it. So I know where you’re coming from but I b/fed so don’t have much advice other than sounds like trapped wind maybe? My dd went through a stage of crying and crying and health visitor suggested Infacol. Didn’t make much diff apart from making her sick but it passed. I wonder if 36 weekers just have more sensitive tummy’s for that 1 st month. It’s really good that he’s waking for feeds.

Also my dd stayed looking quite jaundiced for ages but I think that’s something to do with the breastmilk.

My ds is now 5 weeks old. He wasnt premature but he did have jaundice at birth. Similar to your lo my ds fed every 2-3 hours 3oz each feed to begin with. My midwife told me to feed as often as possible to clear jaundice. This did then lead to me questioning whether he was over feeding (after jaundice cleared). But once he got a little bigger 3-4 weeks he needed nearer 5 oz each feed which makes him go a little longer between feeds.....sometimes!!!! I'm sure whatever is the issue with our lo this week will be something different next week.
I also have the same prob ref breaking the feed down....i try and wind twice at least during the feed then again at the end. He does freak out (arms flailing, goes stiff and cries) but as soon as the burp is out we pop the bottle back in.....I've told dh he needs to do the same. This helps get the whole feed in.

He's quite a good size 9lb6oz at last weigh in...so probably bigger than your prem LO....but i would imagine that all this is still relevant.

Ds now wants to sleep on me most of the time but over the next few days my mission is to get him to settle in his moses basket again.

No real advice but you're not alone.

Good luck.

Sounds like you’ve had a tough start.. just wondering if more regular feeds would help? So he’s not so hungry and hopefully eat slower? I think you’re bottle feeding (but not sure) if you are maybe a different bottle with a slower flow? I’ve heard people rave about dr browns bottles for helping with air intake (and so reducing wind).

Hi OP i just wanted to say i feel in a similar boat... Is it just the feeding your worried about or the sleeping too?

I have a 4 and a half week old, was overdue, so by no means premature. For a week now we seemed to have turned the corner into not napping and colic screaming crying in the evening. When he is like this it is so hard to know if he is hungry ans upset, or if he just wants to suckle on me? We are ebf at the moment, but have resorted to a dummy to help him settle when he is very upset. Our Hv recommended colief on top of the infacol we were already using. Infacol helping bring burps up and colief to help break down lactose if he is having trouble digesting. Our little man is v windy and appears to wake himself up with belly pain. As for sleeping/ naps, we have just cottoned on to a sling and it's been amazing today. We even avoided the major evening meltdown (or shortened it at least!). Though my back is already knackered.

I think as well, when he is tired he can get v fussy in feeding... I am finding it hard to work out when its tiredness versus Hunger. But have now started clock watching and won't let him go an hour before trying a nap.

I don't know if any of that helps, but i wanted to share as I'm feeling quite stressed by it all myself.

Hi OP i just wanted to say i feel in a similar boat... Is it just the feeding your worried about or the sleeping too?

I have a 4 and a half week old, was overdue, so by no means premature. For a week now we seemed to have turned the corner into not napping and colic screaming crying in the evening. When he is like this it is so hard to know if he is hungry ans upset, or if he just wants to suckle on me? We are ebf at the moment, but have resorted to a dummy to help him settle when he is very upset. Our Hv recommended colief on top of the infacol we were already using. Infacol helping bring burps up and colief to help break down lactose if he is having trouble digesting. Our little man is v windy and appears to wake himself up with belly pain. As for sleeping/ naps, we have just cottoned on to a sling and it's been amazing today. We even avoided the major evening meltdown (or shortened it at least!). Though my back is already knackered.

I think as well, when he is tired he can get v fussy in feeding... I am finding it hard to work out when its tiredness versus Hunger. But have now started clock watching and won't let him go an hour before trying a nap.

I don't know if any of that helps, but i wanted to share as I'm feeling quite stressed by it all myself.

Spent a few days offline, so reading your advise and posts now.
@April45- we have a schedule of feeds, but he destroys all our plans, haha. F.ex we aim at feeding him min 50/60 ml every 3 hours, but sometimes he will only have 30 and wake up 40 minutes later for more, and sometimes he will down 80 or 90, and still want more two hours later, and sometimes will not want anything before 4 hours pass. We give him food whenever he looks hungry, but sometimes it's hard to judge if he is, or he just ate too quickly and still thinks he is hungry while his belly is actually full.

@cookingachristmasturkey our boy sounds very similar. It did actually get better after a few days of infacol, he is farting away happily and his belly does not feel so hard anymore, although we need to sort out his poop as he does not do it often, but when he does, it's... well, a LOT (sorry for the detail). I would love to set up some sort of bedtime routine', but it's hard with a baby that feeds and sleeps whenever. As I don't nap during the day, the nights are hard for me, but survived the first three weeks so far. Dummy is working wonders though! I found out sometimes he looks hungry, but actually is not and only takes in 10 ml, and the dummy helps calm him down, and then he can feed a bit later and longer. I do find that sometimes he cries after feeding and Im not sure if he wants more, or he is tired, or something hurts him, and it can be so frustrating not knowing how to help him!

I would say at this early stage a night time routine is probably not your main focus. Feed on demand and keep him close. Try infacol/dentinox/gripe water for the wind. Bicycle legs really help pass wind and encourage poos. A warm bath also helps calm little tummies.

I found gripe water to be the best for my dd. She is 9wo now but every baby is different and you'll find what works best for you as your baby carves his own path.

As far as routine goes you could do a bedtime bath at the same time every day and keep lights low after a certain time just to help with the recognition of daytime and nighttime but I would say at four weeks old that you need to do any more than that.

We had horrendous struggles with wind and constipation and milk not agreeing etc but after 8 weeks things seem to have settled. This is a short lived phase but it feels like there is never going to be an end when you're living it day to day. But be reassured it does pass.