Need help with feeding him

[Bhondu]

Hello everyone ,

My wife and I were blessed with a boy on Jan 8th , being our first child we have had a lot of questions and luckily had grand parents around to help.

However there is one thing we are struggling with .. and that’s feeding him. My wife is committed to breastfeeding and has been trying really hard but he only manages to latch on for a few moments and then gets frustrated. Our midwife that specialise in breastfeeding said that his mouth is too small to go around her breast/nipple right now and recommended Madela nipple shields which haven’t helped much.

So she has been hand expressing into a bottle or using an electric pump , some days her milk flow is really good and other days not so good. The babies milk intake is increasing and my wife is finding it hard to keep up and he ends up crying while she’s trying to express .. a very emotional and tense situation which Is depresses her.

During his last check up we were advised that if breastfeeding isn’t working that well that we should use formula to ‘top-up’. This was before we bought a electric pump which helped for awhile. But yesterday was a bad day and he was hungry a lot of the time while she struggled to get milk.

She eats and drinks as normal but I have heard popcorn is meant to help milk production ? Is there anything else that can help?

We have now bought some cow and gate milk formulae to give him when she can’t produce enough in time.

The official instructions say to boil water then let cool for 30 mins before mixing and then to feed immediately , milk can be left or for 2 hours before going bad.

Is there anyway to speed up his 30 min process ?I have done some research and some people say you can make milk before hand and store it in the coldest part of the fridge ? Others say not to do that at all and make a fresh batch each time ... some have said to buy a kettle that boils to 70c and add it right away so no need to wait for 30 mins for the water go from 100c to 70c.

But with that I’m thinking that he germs from tap water won’t be killed at 70c?

Also how can you feed him when your out and about .. can’t carry a kettle around and if the milk goes bad after 2 hours.. what can we do ..

Today we were both upset as we spent all night trying to get him milk and so slept late then ended up missing our alarms for his night time feed . We just want to nail this formula stuff so we can ensure we’re giving him what he needs to grow properly

Thank you for reading this long post

You can buy bottles of premade formula which is what we used for top ups. It is more expensive but in the first few days it really helped reduce the stress. You can also carry a flask of hot water to either heat a bottle of premade or add to the powder. I haven't used this so can't really comment. I topped DS up via syringe when he was very little and at 5 months he is still bf and on 91St centile. I have heard lots of people rave about the perfect prep machine especially for night feeds. Oats are good for supply for your wife, as well as a fenugreek supplement. I always offered breast then topped up if needed to try and increase my supply. It is a very emotional time and I personally struggled with feeling guilty I didn't have enough for him but I soon realised that fed is best. It is so nice to see them when they are milk drunk. Enjoy your little boy

Sorry for lack of paragraphs, feeding DS right now!

Also try pumping in the morning as that is supposed to be more effective

Hi, not an expert at all, but I had lots of issues with feeding (my DS is now 7 weeks).
While your Midwife might be an expert, I’d recommend seeing a Lactation consultant to really see if your babies mouth is too small, and also to advise about expressing/finger feeding/options other than bottles etc. I saw two consultants (one free at a Henry clinic, one private) as well as my very well informed Midwife. Read the Kelly Mum website & google the Jack Newman videos. It might be that you can sort it without top ups, so long as your baby is weeing enough & isn’t losing too much weight.
I have had to end up mixed feeding, but I understand the desire to breastfeed exclusively & the need to feel you’ve done everything possible to make it work.
Good luck! x

Also, supplements wise, no idea if any actually work but I eat oats every day, and take Goats Rue, fenugreek & drink fennel tea.

Also again (sorry, Brain is mush), I use the ready made. I sterilise bottles in advance, so the bottle/carton is ready to go when I need it.

Not sure this is good advice but we boil the kettle and pour the necessary amount of water from cup to cup until it cools. Then back into the bottle and add the formula. for out and about I bring a flask of boiling water and it's usually a good temp by the time I use it.
As pp said, I felt v guilty topping up but fed is best and baby still breast feeds and formula feeds (3 months old)

Your wife needs to speak to someone irl to get help to latch your baby onto the breast correctly and to make a plan to ditch the formula (assuming she still wants to bf). Two great places to go a re LLL and the nct, both have breast feeding helplines you can call and LLL have peer supporters that can come and see you at home (nct might too but Ai know LLL does in my area). You can also ask to see the Infant Feeding specialist at your hospital. Call one of these now. There are also breast feeding support groups, sometimes called breast feeding cafes or , in my area breast buddies.

Breast feeding can be very hard to establish and it sounds like you need some one to one help. The use of formula so early on can damage bf and you will need a plan to get back on track. It sounds like you have been let down by the mw taking care of your wife post natally.

In your situation I would buy ready made formula that is ready to use. You can get either small bottles/cartons or large bottles. It can be kept in the fridge for usually 24 hours once it's open, and kept in a cupboard if sealed. That way you cut out all of the hassle about mixing up a bottle. It is more expensive than the powder, but I think worth it in the early days when feeds are frequent. You can also take sealed cartons upstairs for nights, and out with you when you leave the house without needing to worry about keeping them cold.

Using formula should take the stress off your wife to express a certain volume of milk. She can just express as much as seems possible, without needing to express to give a feed. You can give whatever expressed breastmilk you have, and add ready made formula to it to make up the volume of milk that you're giving your baby.

If you want to continue with powdered formula, you don't need to wait 30 minutes before using the boiled water. The instructions say to wait no more than 30 minutes. You can use the water a few minutes after it's been boiled, then flash cool the formula under a running cold tap, or in a sink of cold water. You can then store those in the back of the fridge for up to 24 hours. This is the second best method over making up fresh each time, but it's still acceptable to do this. The important thing is that the water mixed with the powder must be hotter than 70 degrees to kill any bugs in the powder. Never use just cold water.

I had to do what you're doing with both my children. I managed to get to 100% breastfeeding by around 6 weeks for both of them. The key for me was to try and make expressing as easy as possible, and to try and do it as often as you can bear. Particularly at least once overnight/early morning if you can as this is when your supply is stimulated the most. I would also read about paced bottle feeding, and use a teat like the Medela Calma to help slow down bottle feeding.

A weird tip about expressing given to me by the nurses in SCBU was to try and relax my shoulders as much as possible whilst expressing, as this apparently can help with the let down reflex. Hard to do when you're worrying about trying to express a certain amount!