Should I quit breastfeeding?

[butterybean]

DS is 10 weeks old and ebf. He's on the 91st percentile and feeds quite efficiently on demand, at midnight, 4am, 6.30am and 8.30am, then we get up and fed on demand about every 2.5hrs during the day.

Breastfeeding is no problem at all - no pain or discomfort and DS is in a next2me crib at night but often settles better in bed with me. I think about half the night hes in the next to me and half the night hes in bed with me. Mostly because our bedroom is very cold at night due to lack of heating but that's a whole other thread....

I don't switch the light on to feed him, I do it lying down and I dont need to wind him after, he feeds himself back to sleep so I'm not disturbed for long.

Most of the time I'm fine (get up around 9am and go to sleep about 11pm) but usually once a week the broken sleep catches up with me and I get knackered and grumpy. Typically on a Monday I'm good for nothing other than a day in bed and feel so guilty that I'm not doing housework or taking DS out somewhere, walking the dog or doing bits and bobs for our family business.

I saw a post today of a friend who has a baby that was due at the same time as DS (except her baby was 5 weeks early and mine was 3 weeks late) - he has just slept 12 hours solid through the night. I felt sad that my LO wasn't doing the same.

So my question is this...is there a benefit to me carrying on bf'ing? Should I switch to formula and hope he sleeps better? Should I start sleep training him in some way or is it too early? I love the convienience of breastfeeding but also want to make the most of my days and not be tired and grumpy.

You sounds like you and baby are doing great OP. It’a absolutely standard to still be exhausted at 10 Weeks - you’ve just grown and birthed a human! Have you got anyone who can support you with housework? Don’t feel guilty about not having the energy to take baby out - you’re all he needs right now x

As a previous poster suggested, you need your sleep too, so get your DH to give a formula feed at 11pm and you get to bed early.

It's great to hear all the anecdotal evidence, but check out the numerous studies on sleeping patterns in ff Vs bf babies. Have a look at the studies referenced in the link I posted earlier.

FF is amazing!

Why not try a bit of both OP? It doesn't have to be all or nothing as far as either BF or FF are concerned. I combi feed with a couple of FF top ups in the evening and although all babies are different of course, it does help my baby sleep for longer at night. I need the sleep as I have a toddler too so I can't sleep in the day / when the baby sleeps owing to said toddler charging around the place.

I also just wanted to address the point that a PP made about FF increasing the risk of SIDS. BFing is thought to reduce the risk of SIDS (there are a couple of links about it below) which is obviously brilliant and one excellent reason to BF. But, just because BF reduces the risk, that doesn't mean that FF increases the risk. The risk remains the same, it is only reduced by breastfeeding.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/breastfeeding/

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/10/171030123401.htm

As far as I am aware, no-one really understands conclusively why BF reduces the SIDS risk either... It could be to do with the make up of breastmilk or it might be something circumstantial, e.g. breastfeeding mothers tend to have a greater awareness of safe sleeping guidelines / safe co-sleeping etc. Or a combination of both.

There are loads of benefits to breastfeeding, as there are to formula feeding depending on your circumstances and what works for your family. We do a bit of both and it works really well for us.

Good luck with everything and I hope you get some sleep!

Could you express and get your husband to do a night feed to give you a break? Your baby is sleeping so well on breast milk, I would definitely stick at it a bit longer if you can.

just because BF reduces the risk, that doesn't mean that FF increases the risk. The risk remains the same, it is only reduced by breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is the natural norm for babies and therefore where the baseline risk of something like SIDS is measured from. If SIDS is more likely when babies are formula fed, then it is formula that is increasing that risk as opposed to breastfeeding reducing it.

It's like saying "smoking doesn't increase the risk of lung cancer, it's just that avoiding smoking reduces the risk of lung cancer". It doesn't make sense. The active change is what influences the risk.

Before anyone jumps down my throat, I'm not saying FF is as bad as smoking. I'm just using it as an example of why the quoted post isn't right. It's a fact that breast milk is better in lots of ways but that doesn't make formula milk necessarily bad. Just look at Venezuela and the dreadful infant mortality when mothers can't breastfeed but formula is impossible to get. We are lucky to have it and although I breastfeed, I give formula too from time to time when I need a break.

All that being said, breastfeeding doesn't lower the risk of anything. Introduction of formula is what raises risk. I guess it's semantics really but I think it's important and a clever sleight of hand from formula companies.

I should probably explain what I meant a bit more clearly...

Although I absolutely agree that breastfeeding is the natural norm for human beings, as we know it isn't the actual norm in the UK where the vast majority of babies are formula fed. Method of feeding is also not the only criteria that can reduce the risk of SIDS so can't be viewed in isolation.

I think that sunburn is a good analogy - I am 50% likely to get sunburned in the summer. Using sunblock reduces my risk of sunburn to 5% but not using sunblock doesn't increase the risk of sunburn, the risk stays at 50%.

In any event, my intention was to reassure the OP that giving the odd bottle here and there isn't necessarily going to pose a significant risk to her baby.

For me, the most important bit from the second article I linked is:

The other important finding from our study is that any amount of breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDS -- in other words, both partial and exclusive breastfeeding appear to provide the same benefit.

As it gives some reassurance that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Who is putting pressure on you to change what you're doing OP?

It all sounds fab and similar to my experience with DS.

Babies aren't meant to sleep through the night until they are much older.

Protect your wellbeing and make sure you are prioritising sleep, rest and good food and hydration for yourself. Other than that carry on as you are.

OP, it sounds like your baby's sleep patterns are well within normal for a breastfed or formula fed baby. There are ways to make bf easier on yourself at this stage - any bf support group would have loads of ideas, depending on your circumstances.

It is quite wrong to say there is 'evidence" let alone a lot of evidence, let alone strong evidence, that ff babies sleep better than bf. It is notoriously difficult to measure - do you measure night time waking frequency, or the length of time the baby is awake, when does 'night time' start (7pm? 11pm?)? Do you measure mother's sleep - if the baby is waking but the mother goes back to sleep and is unaware of the waking beyond the first few seconds, how do you record that?

This is one reason why studies contradict each other, and why anecdotal experience is so conflicting....people's recall is dodgy, their experiences and their tolerance differ, and their expectations of what is 'normal' or 'acceptable' vary massively.

Of course there is 'benefit' in continuing to breastfeed at 10 weeks, unless there is a major issue like mother's mental health suffering. Combined feeding is a possiibility but as well as having an impact on health and nutrition, some parents would find it a huge faff and would also end up with uncomfortable, leaking breasts because of the missed feed, at least initially.

OP, sleep training at 10 weeks is not a good idea. Babies need to wake at night. Your friend's baby is an outlier and in any case may well revert to more usual patterns after this blip :) No reason to be 'sad' your baby is doing something perfectly normal and ok :)

Hope you reach a decision and a sleep solution that you are comfortable with. Ignore anyone who is gung ho about bf, ff or mixed, and who urges you to do anything because of their own beliefs or feelings :)

Hey everyone, thank you for all your responses and your experiences, it is very reassuring as I don't yet know anyone else that breastfeeds a baby similar age to mine (I have one friend but her baby is a year old so not really comparable). There is a local baby group that I'm going to start going to and hopefully there will be some ebf babies there...will wait and see.

Reassuring to know there isn't a correlation between feeding and sleep at this stage. I have a very supportive partner who is happy to do a bottle feed of formula or expressed milk in the evenings if i want him to. I might have a go at that and see what happens.

As it's winter ive started coming up to bed early, 7pm ish and just cuddling/feeding and watching a film while DS naps on and off. Which means I get 14hrs of good quality rest, even if its not proper sleep/broken sleep. Hopefully this will help a bit as I'm useless at napping during the day.

I think I'll carry on with the breastfeeding for at least another couple of weeks as a result of reading the replies on here. Mainly because its free (we are skint right now) and its very fast and easy for me when out and about. Also DS loves it.

Thank you for the reassurance that all is normal xx

Hi OP. My DS was almost fully ff and 3m old DD is mostly bf with one bottle of formula a day. She currently sleeps better than he did.

At the moment what works for us is that DH gives the formula as a dream feed around 11pm. This didn’t really work with my DS who woke at the same time anyway, but DD is then sleeping on til 4/5/6am. So I can potentially sleep from feeding her at 7pm til 4am or later. I’m sure it’ll all change, but it’s working for us at the moment

You are doing really well. My dd was a terrible sleeper, I combi fed, my nephew was ff and a terrible sleeper, my niece was ff and a brilliant sleeper. All babies are different and not having to faff with formula at 4am was a major benefit of breastfeeding for me.