Any tips for toddler night weaning?

[NymeriaStark]

DD is 27 months and still breastfeeding last thing at night (but not to sleep, she goes in her cot awake) and when she wakes in the night. A good night is one wake up, a quick feed and back into cot but most nights I’m up with her for an hour as she feeds and faffs and wants more. I’m not totally convinced night weaning will stop her waking though and wonder if I’m shooting myself in the foot by taking away a method of getting her back to sleep. But it’s starting to do my head in- I think it’s almost waking her up more than is necessary. Any tips? DH can’t settle her at night anymore- she used to nod back off for him a dream but now she screams for me and milk. She never feeds in the day any more and I’m happy to keep the before bed feed. We do often talk about how mummy’s milk is running out so we save it for bedtime and I leave her a cup of water in her cot. But as soon as she wakes she just demands milk and gets hysterical!

I wasnt wishing to gloat, I really wasnt. I was clumsily aiming to show you that children of that age don’t need to have milk in the night in order to sleep, and are developmentally more than capable of being just on 3 normal meals a day by waaay before the 27month age. I only said this in the hope of helping, as you were asking for advice and you stated that waking in the night to feed him is becoming onerous and tiring for you (which I aimed to sympathise and empathise with but got shot-down for ‘making assumptions’ about your life).

I really, really can’t say anything on this thread without causing offence, and I suspect it’s because I’ve ‘othered’ myself by outing myself as the one person on this thread who didn’t do extended-breastfeeding. I didn’t realise when I posted that this was the kind of thread where only replies echoing the OPs own extended-bfing parenting style would be welcomed, but clearly it is, and by offering my own experiences in the hopes of giving some perspective, I’ve been metaphorically shown-the-door by you all. Cheers.

Even after my apology I got short-shrift.

I’m more glad than ever that I left all this -tedium- minutiae behind me now that my kids are past the baby-feeding-chat-stage, and I’m able to distance myself from these kinds of polarised and dogmatic conversations.

I'm going to guess you have zero idea about breastfeeding toddlers Xmasguilt.

They generally go on to 3 meals a day exactly the same as any other baby. The bfing is in no way instead of food ffs.

We're not clueless and thinking that our toddlers are babies that need our milk at night.

They like it, it's good for them and mostly it helps them settle to sleep as part of a routine.

I'm on my 3rd toddler and am starting to think about night weaning. She's 2.5 and a bit keener than her older siblings were...

You were a bit condescending to the OP I'm afraid, hence the reaction. I think it's appreciated that you meant well.

Just ordered Sally Weans From Night Nursing. Thanks for the tip!

Lots of useful tips thank you for sharing

DD1 was nightweaned at about 20 months- I just sent DP in. However- it didn't immediately stop her waking up, although by 2 she was sleeping through. But I would agree with the mars bar analogy- and it's also harder for you because you have the one thing that can get you all back to sleep easily.

Dd2 is an even worse sleeper and I have spent up to a week away for work without her showing any signs of night weaning at 15 months. I know if we stop feeding at night she will still wake and we will have lost the only way of getting her back to sleep.

And natural term (prefer that to extended feeding) feeding doesn't mean you're some sort of surrendered earth mother - I was back to work with both of mine at 8 months and travelling. Some babies just sleep, some are happier to stop in the night earlier. They're all different.

Well last night went brilliantly! We read ‘Sally Weans From Night Nursing’ as a ‘special book’ which she absolutely loves and after reading it once she explained what was happening. She woke at 11-ish and I went it and held her hand and said no milk but I’d stay with her until she fell asleep. She was a bit cross but no major crying and didn’t need picking up. She fell asleep so I went back to bed and she woke then minutes later so I did the same thing and she fell asleep again (I woke up on her bedroom floor at 1am 😱) and slept until 7.30am. We’ll see what happens tonight if it was a fluke!

So we've now done four nights with no milk. It's been surprisingly easy as she's not actually been that upset, just a bit cross and trying her luck asking for milk (even though I remind her each night there's none until morning) and I've said no milk but you can have a cuddle and she's accepted this easily. In fact most times I haven't even had to get her out of the cot and have just tucked her up again, maybe held her hand or patted her back. But... she's waking up loads more than before, shouts out for me straight away and won't let DH anywhere near her at night now (despite him being her favourite person all day and quite often who she calls for first thing in the morning). Do I just need to give her a bit longer to get used to the idea that night time is for sleeping?

We night weaned much like you are doing. DH can only go in if DD wakes when he is the one who did the last part of bedtime. Our routine is milk and main story, teeth brushing, goodnight to one parent, last (short) story in bed, lights out, parent stays for 5 mins then leaves. 5 nights out of 7 that's her till 7am. Getting to this point took 5 months and a gro clock, but we started before she turned 2, you are probably going to find it easier as your child is older.

I night weaned my total boob monster in October at 25 months and told him he could have boobies when the clock beeped and for 3 nights he screamed and clawed and hit - and then started sleeping through! All well and good for 3 months, it was bliss! then Christmas hit and he's been horrendous, waking multiple times a night for hours at a time and constantly going on about boobies, he's obsessed with the morning feed and it feels like he's waiting all night for it. So last night I basically said it's bedtime milk only and that's it. Last night was still horrendous but I stuck to my guns, made me weep though as he kept crying "I'm not a big boy, I need boobies" but it just can't go on, I've had enough. Honestly nobody tells you how hard it can be to stop breastfeeding, all the info is about how to start and keep it going!

Following with interest. My 22 month old has a bottle of cows milk at night. We night weaned him no bother at all when he was a year old but then a few months ago he had a shitty few weeks of illness after illness plus molars cutting and milk was the only thing that would settle him. Now of course it's habit.

We tried night weaning again a few weeks ago - we had two weeks of no milk at night but after the fourteenth night of non stop hysterical screaming I'm afraid I gave in. He simply was not getting the message. No idea what to do now.

Perhaps he’s not ready Olivia? DD has had no milk during the night for almost a week now. She’s even stopped asking and we had no hysterics at all which makes me think she was ready and for it (I also think my milk may have dried up too which made it easier although she still has a feed before bed and doesn’t tel me there’s nothing there). She’s still waking lots though but I’m hoping this will settle down. She also has a cold so I’m quite pleased she’s still settling with no milk. In fact, last night when I was sat in her room at 3am I thought what’s the point? But then I had a word with myself and reminded myself that a week ago I was breastfeeding her for an hour in the middle of the night and now Although she is still waking I don’t even need to get her out of the cot, I can just give her a pat and tell her to go back to sleep. So that’s progress! Unless she’s lulling me into a false sense of security!

Sorry, Olibob not Olivia! Hate autocorrect.

We're the same op, Ds is 27 months and still wakes every night (except has a bottle, not BF) and he's my third so you'd have thought I'd know what to do by now!

We've decided cold turkey is the only way. We've tried watering down milk and all the other methods but I do believe that cold turkey, no milk is going to be our strategy. I am Just psyching myself up for it.....and quietly dreading it.

Bizarrely, over Christmas, Ds was going to bed an hour later (so 8pm ish) and slept through every single night. It's as if his body clock just 'worked' better doing 8-7 rather than 7-6. This isn't something we can do once normal life resumes as our other dc need to go to bed earlier and get up earlier than 8-7, but maybe this would work for you OP?

thenew good luck, your situation sounds identical to mine!

Unfortunately going to bed later makes no difference to DD! She’s never been an early riser though thank goodness!

Well, it all seems to be going really well! She’s still waking at night but sometimes only once and literally all I have to do now is go in, put her duvet back on and say go back to sleep now and she’s back asleep within seconds. I can’t believe the difference from a few weeks ago! I’m hoping eventually she’ll just stop needing me when she wakes at all.