Partner wants to give 5 week old rusk

[FirstNov2017]

Had a few problems with breast feeding but it seems that they are normal. I have been going to bf cafe/clinics to get advice and they have observed me feeding. Every clinic I've been to says lo latched on fine. Breast hasn't felt empty after a feed and lo was unsettled after 2 hours. Have been putting lo on the breast and then expressing and feeding to make sure he is getting something. This is working well but it's exhausting. He's settled and now gaining weight. My partner wants to give him rusks as him mum told him she did this with him as he was always hungry. I really don't want to give out lo rusks. He's 5 weeks old. As we're both his parents I don't know how to tell him to bugger off with that idea. So much conflicting information about solid food before 6 months. I just want to do what's best for our lo. Anyone done this or something similar?

Are you feeding for 2 hours at a time all day or just for a few hours? It's really normal for babies to cluster feed at this age, mine would feed constantly and not settle (boobs would feel empty) from about 6/7pm till 12/1am, it was exhausting but it's all about building supply and the time starts to shorten and the the cluster feeding stops.

You are doing really well, well done.

No rusks though! They are a choking risk and full of sugar. Times have changed and we have better knowledge then when your DH was a baby. My MIL talks about putting the carry cot on the back seat of the car in the 80s not even strapped in! I won't be taking advice on car seat safety from her!

Is he actively feeding the whole time he's attached? DD used to fall asleep on the boob a lot at that age and I had to be shown how to pop her off. Tongue tie didn't help and was missed by several BF support sessions until 5w

Your DH needs to stop listening to his DM and supporting you more! . My DAunt kept telling me she gave my Dcousin “full dinners” at 6 weeks. She seems to ignore the fact that he’s got horrific asthma and had a heart attack at 27!

Get him to read What to expect in the early weeks.

WHO are also very, very clear on introducing solids and it’s not before 6 months. Have a look at their guidelines here. There was some controversial “research” published saying it’s fine from 4 months but the said research isnt really valid as it was funded by Nestle who have a vested interest in you stopping Bfing .

There is also clear research that says introducing solids before 17 weeks is a serious allergy risk.

Get him to read the NHS Guidelines on starting solids as it gives the signs of readiness.

This is a good article too on Dads and breastfeeding.

As is the MN info on starting solids.

And Kellymom on starting solids.

Really though, Weaning isn’t something you need to be worrying about at 5 weeks, it’s ages away!

Your DMIL had her babies a long time ago, she needs to realise that there’s been a hell of a lot of research since then and all of it is really clear on holding off offering supplemental foods until 6 months

Congratulations on your new LO too

Sorry, on.y just seen your second post. Is baby attChed for two hours every feed?

5 weeks was normal 40+ years ago. Normal in the last 20 years or so is to wait until 4-6 months. (It went up to 6 months 14 years ago). Bottles are for milk only (our parents and grandparents were told to put baby rice/rusk in bottle with milk but that's not recommended these days. )
When he's ready to be weaned, I'd pick something healthier than baby rusk which is mainly sugar but in the mean time, don't worry- your baby is normal and will settle when he's older. He seems unsettled to your MIL because her generation were told to feed on a schedule rather than demand feed like modern mothers.

Attached for 1-2 hours every feed. Has good days and bad days. Have to wake him up. Can hear him swallowing but often does comfort sucks. Tried all the positions. Nipple isn't misshapen.

Feeding for 1 to 2 hours could be within the normal range. If you think he’s not actually feeding, have you tried doing breast compressions? How often are you swapping sides?

If DH wants to help. Get him to bring you plenty of drinks and snacks when you are feeding. Hand LO over when you’ve finished your next feed. Get DH to change him and take him out for a walk. Have you got a sling? My DH did bathtime which was a nice bonding experience for them and gave me a break.

Agree with the others, I wouldn’t give yourself the added pressure of expressing yet. Baby is just building up your supply and everything sounds perfectly normal

What you have described is within the range of normal for a 5 week old baby.

If you think some of it is comfort sucking you could try a dummy in between feeds as well? They is some research that they help reduce the risk of SIDS too, so win win.

Go to a breastfeeding group for advice and support. You are doing really well - don’t let your oh and your mil derail you!

Rainbow I think the OP says that she is going to a Bfing Cafe

Can someone spell out why this is a bad idea so I can show my mum? She bangs on that she gave us all “liga biscuits” mushed up with milk at 5 days.

And here’s some more info for your DH. There is an allergy increase risk of type 1 Diabetes if you offer cereals before 3 months. here.

5 weeks is not only way too early for solids, it's actually fairly early to have any sort of settled breastfeeding routine.

If your partner wants to do any sort of supplemental feeding, it should consist of him bringing you and drink and a snack while you are feeding through baby!

Oy. Choking hazard. Increased risk of type 1 diabetes. Increased risk of allergies. Increased risk of sids. Is that enough?

The feeding is normal as many babies go through a growth spurt at 6 weeks and want to feed a lot the week before.

DO NOT give rusks at 5 weeks - the baby's stomach is to immature to cope with foods like wheat and sugar etc. In the old days people used to do things like this to quieten babies - these days we know that it can cause long term digestive problems

He was losing weight just on breast. Been checked for tongue tie and all other physical issues. No idea what the issue is
I do breast compressions and massage to make sure all is ok. Switch breasts when it gets soft.

I second trying a dummy if your baby is comfort sucking rather than feeding. But feeding often every 1.5-2 hours is normal for bf and they do like to cluster feed my 5 month old feeds a lot in the evenings still. If you’re getting wet nappies and weight gain there’s enough milk.
I wouldn’t bother with expressing just enjoy sitting on the sofa feeding and watching tv.

Was your baby actually losing weight or just not gaining? How old was he when he was losing?

It’s pretty normal to loose upto 10 percent of bodyweight at first and some bf babies will not have regained their birthweight by 5 weeks.

If you do breast compressions, does it encourage him to start swallowing again?

And have you seen Dr Jack Newman’s video on breast compressions?

He lost in the first 5 days. Was told by midwife to top up after every feed. Did that and he gained. Started going to cafes and they said all looked fine so stopped topping up and he lost again. I was beside myself at that point. That was week 2/3 so started topping up again when he seems unsettled after coming off so it's not after every feed. He seems happier. Just worried he'll get used to a top up.
Bf isn't the most convenient but I'm happy to persevere. I'm on mat leave with no other kids... be nice to get out more but for now I want to focus on him feeding as much as he needs to. If it was all about convenience then no one would have kids! I expected it to start off difficult and if it's not getting better or he loses weight again then we'll have to look at alternatives. Definitely not going to give him solids. Thanks for all the advice so far.

If he doesn’t seem satisfied, do you pop him on the other side? You can keep swapping sides as many times as you like. If you are expressing, you are producing enough milk so don’t let that be a concern.

How much are you topping up by and how often?

I keep swapping. If he doesn't seem to be drinking anymore or has really gone to sleep then I put him down and express what's left. Express between 30-60mls in the day and up to 100ml from the good boob in the morning. I don't know what to do about him falling asleep and seeming unsatisfied.

If he’s falling asleep, why do think he’s unsatisfied? If he wakes as soon as you put him down, this can be pretty normal. You could doing some breast compression on the same breast then swapping breasts or or giving him to Dad to take out for a walk or a bit of skin to skin at home with him. Just because he wakes when you take him off doesn’t mean he’s unsatisfied

Are you absolutely sure he is feeding for all that time and not just using you as a "dummy". Ds2 was like that so would just appear to be feeing when really he was just suckling for comfort and so filling up on the foremilk.

My midwife advised to give him a dummy to see if l could stretch out the feeds a little which meant he was hungry and so really drained my breast

Tried walking, skin to skin, cuddling... been a few times he's fallen asleep on the boob and then he's woken up when out down. Lay him on my chest or partners chest and he cries and screams until he's back on boob. Sounds like he's being attacked! Is it possible for a babies stomach to growl?!?