Breastfeeding - desperately need a break :-(

[littlelamb12]

Hi..

I am new to this.

When I was pregnant I knew I really wanted to breast feed, what I didn't know was how much time and commitment it was - naively..

I do not say this In a negative way at all as I have absolutely loved breast feeding my son.

The issue is - he's 6 months old and he will not take a bottle at all. Not from anyone / in anything.. and whilst it is much easier for me to keep feeding him and keeping the peace, I am also really desperate for a day / evening out to get some time for myself, as I am desperately losing the balance in my life.

I haven't done anything really without baby, there have only been two occasions where I have had an hour alone, one time was to get a hair cut and the other for a massage.

It's not just that , I am also left with severe anxiety over the whole ordeal of leaving him, which is just so hard to get over as he is BF on demand I worry if I was to leave him at any point he may cry and cry

My baby does have a routine and generally he is good, regularly naps but like all babies they can also be a bit unpredictable and he's going through ' leaps ' and changes... teething etc.. A lot of it revolves around BF, soothing, getting him to sleep etc.

lately he is up in the night and hasn't really mastered the self settle - id have thought by nw I would have been able to leave for a few hours and after putting him to sleep but I just can't as the only way he'll sleep again is me BF.

I just fee like I've tried to do the best thing by EBF my baby but now it's actually
Caused dependency to the point I'm nervous to leave him to do anything really

I feel so guilty for writing this and 99.9% if the time I can handle it but I really just feel like I need some time to do anything ! Socialise have a drink.. go out with friends anything..

Just fee like I will be back at work soon and that could be an issue that I really don't want to have to deal with, with the stress of starting a new job.

My partner also works very long hours and is always under a lot of pressure as he runs serveral businesses, so support is not always there... ( he does the best he can )

Don't know who else to talk to about this so hoping for any advice that could help.

Thanks


you sound very overwhelmed. I really felt like this with my first. With my second I'd relaxed into it and realised it isn't forever. Which with my first i couldn't see! In 2-3 months your baby will be more reliant on food and less on milk and therefore you. It'll be easier to leave them for a few hours. Then gradually it just gets easier and easier to have some time to yourself. In the meantime be kind to your self and think of things you can do where baby is there, hopefully sleeping or with your dp but you are relaxing/having fun. Have friends over, take away or easy supper in oven, small glass of wine, bath, read a book, watch a funny programme. Some self care goes a long way too. So healthy foods, fresh air, some excercise, getting out and about.
Sorry no practical advice about leaving baby with bottles/cups etc. I tried a few times but found it more stressful expressing and leaving baby than not!

Hi OP, no advice really but I'm in the same boat...6 month old ebf baby boy and he refuses bottles completely! Can you take him with you for some socialising? I've taken mine out for a few lunches with friends and I'm going to try an evening meal out on Friday taking him along (may live to regret this as it will mess up bedtime!!!). I know it's not the same as proper 'me' time but I go stir crazy sitting at home all day and I'd be too worried to enjoy myself if I left him, like you. Good luck with it all!

I remember feeling similarly around 4-5 months and felt especially surprised by it because it had taken so long to be able to bf as baby would not latch for 2 months.

But it’s all about to change! Have you started weaning yet? Once they start taking solids, even just a bit, it really does widen the gaps between breast feeds and just gives you a bit more time to yourself. Whereas at first the max I could be away from Baby was about 2.5 hours once we started solids it increased to about 4.

DD was the same with bottles after EBF but we got past it by:
Offering the bottle first at each feed, stopping as soon as it felt the slightest bit stressful
Making sure we had a twat which matches my nipple shape. We had Tommy Tippee at first and I have never seen anyone of the age of 18 with boobs like that! We found the Maam ones wee much more like my droopy breasts!

I also did the bottle and put it in my armpit so the position and smell were as usual for the baby. It took about 10 goes but then she was fine

It takes a while but just don't try and push it too hard or you will stress yourself and DC.

Okay I clearly meant teat and not twat

Slow flow teat. Very warm milk (not hot put definitely warm). Worked for both my bottle refusers. So worth trying those things if you haven't. They will be taking more food soon and you will be at work and they will be feeding one way or another - it will work out. You will get adult time and you will look forward to coming home to your lovely baby for a cuddle.

Hey, have you started weaning? Go for it. My son would scream if presented with a bottle of milk but it began to matter less and less as went onto 3 meals a day and if i went out with friends and refused milk then my DH would give him yogurt/cereal with milk (oh yes my son would actually drink it with cereal!!!!!!!!) and water in a sippy cup. I stopped at 10 months BF him (was only on 2 BFat that point, first and last thingas I’d gone back to work) He still refused to drink milk from any cup/bottle so continued to supplement with other sources of calcium.
You have hit 6 months-your through it. All down hill from this point!

When you start introducing solids he will go longer between feeds. Have you tried offering him breast milk from a cup? He might not take Bottle but some babies like cups

@situp

I had the exact same at 6 months - he cried, I cried - I distinctly remember him crying so much that I ended up feeding him with tears running down my cheeks on to his head and his breath hitching as he fed. Aww.

At that moment I just gave in and resigned myself to it - making that decision actually strangely made me feel better. As it turns out as a pp said; it got naturally easier and easier and by the time he was 9 months old he preferred a bottle anyway because he could hold it (and throw it) etc.

Do you know he is 16 now but I remember that day me and him laying on my bed crying as if it were yesterday.