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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

What do you say if someone is coming out with a lot of rubbish about formula?

35 replies

Pruni · 17/04/2007 19:35

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lulumama · 17/04/2007 19:36

refer them to the breastmilk v formula threads here !!

hana · 17/04/2007 19:37

you know, I just can't be bothered to have discussions like this with people who don't have a place in my life - might not be the right tack to take, but just that, life's too short
I'd prob just ignore and let it pass over

Original poster

Pruni · 17/04/2007 19:37

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Original poster

Pruni · 17/04/2007 19:38

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MrsBadger · 17/04/2007 19:40

Depends how well you know them - my heart sank when I saw a pg friend's newly-decorated and -equipped nursery complete with a big new steriliser and box of bottles but I just didn't know enough about her reasoning to say anything and didn't have the guts to confront her.

TBH yours sounds like she's on the defensive already so you might be fighting a losing battle anyway.

Maybe just say something along the lines of 'oh, but bf's so much less fiddle in the middle of the night / when you're travelling' rather than start with the stats.

tissy · 17/04/2007 19:41

"It's just the same as breast milk"- No it's not- formula is cow milk , made for baby cows that has been adapted to make it more like breast milk, but it's still cow milk made for baby cows.....

On balance I think you should smile sweetly and keep quite, as it would seem that the Mum in question has chosen to ff and is trying to justify her decision.

JoanCrawford · 17/04/2007 19:42

I wish someone had enlightened me as a painfully ignorant new mum.

I'm all for having a choice, so long as it's an informed choice.

Hulababy · 17/04/2007 19:42

It's just the same as breastmilk

I would say very matter of factly that there are differences and that yes, whilst formula is an alternative to breast milk, it is not actually the same - from cows not humans to start with - and that ideally breast is the best milk for a baby. But that I acknowledge that for some women who can't/don't want to breast fed, formula is an option that has improved over time.

Look at me, I was formula fed and I'm fine

I'd say nothing. The friends "un-fineness" is almost definitely unlikely to be anything to do with FF!!!

The midwife said to have some bottles and formula in the house just in case so I've stocked up

again say nothing if you don't agree with it. I might say to be careful as FF has a use by date. Having bottles in not an issue though as can be used for FF or expressed milk anyway.

wildwoman · 17/04/2007 19:42

Stay well away, it's none of your business tbh even if you mean well

tissy · 17/04/2007 19:43

quiet, obviously

MrsBadger · 17/04/2007 19:44

But wildwoman, what if they really genuinely think it's just the same as breastmilk.
It isn't, and it's not fair on them to have to make a choice without being in possession of all the facts.

(not saying anyone should barge in, but surely you can see why it's a tough call)

WelshBoris · 17/04/2007 19:45

I'd phone Moondog and put her on loud speaker

Surfermum · 17/04/2007 19:46

It would depend on how well I knew them and whether I thought they'd be receptive to hear anything I had to say.

wildwoman · 17/04/2007 19:46

yes I suppose but it is such a minefield. I would have been mortified if someone had given me a lecture. I know that's not how it would be meant but to a postnatal hormone filled mum it might sound like one.

FioFio · 17/04/2007 19:48

This reply has been deleted

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NadineBaggott · 17/04/2007 19:49

Depends how well you know them.

You could outline the benefits of breastfeeding but sounds like she's made up her mind to ff and may just be making herself feel better about it.

Trouble is, despite the statistics, (one of my favourite things ) most of us (I'd say) know lots of people who are or have been ff and are perfectly ok. Maybe it's only when we start dropping like flies that bf will become the norm.

MrsBadger · 17/04/2007 19:49

agree lecturing postnatal mums is a bad thing , but before the birth is a different matter...

wildwoman · 17/04/2007 19:51

If you can do it well then I guess it's ok, I have my foot firmly in my mouth most of the time so I would have to keep quiet

plibble · 17/04/2007 19:53

"It's the same as breastmilk". If they still hadn't decided what to do and were running through why they thought formula might be ok, I would (gently) point out that it isn't the same, it's just adequate food.

"I was formula fed and I'm fine". There's not a lot you can say to that without being really insulting...

"The midwife said to have bottles and formula just in case." I had these in reserve too and breastfed for 7 months. Having these things at home helped as I found if I got stressed, my milk didn't flow. Having a back up helped me relax and thus helped me to breastfeed, so IMO this can be a good thing when it is a back up.

Original poster

Pruni · 17/04/2007 19:59

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doggiesayswoof · 17/04/2007 20:00

TBH I would probably keep schtum but then go home and wish I'd said something...

My sister chose to ff and I said nothing to her either before or after the birth. She was well informed on the benefits of bf, so I didn't feel able to talk to her about it. However she had some misconceptions about bf - eg ff babies are easier to get into a 'better routine'. Bolleaux obviously and I should have put her straight on that one...but I knew she was already defensive about it so I said nothing.

Please don't everyone jump on me here - but I still feel that she didn't give it a go and I do feel partly responsible (I'm the older sister obviously!)

Original poster

Pruni · 17/04/2007 20:00

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wildwoman · 17/04/2007 20:01

Sorry I didn't read it properly Obviously pre natal is completely different

Tamum · 17/04/2007 20:02

Sounds like you did the right thing Pruni, though I am very impressed by Fio's softly softly approach I guess in those circumstances I might be tempted, if I knew the person very well, to say something about bfing having a protective effect against eczema, but I probably wouldn't actually say it. I might well ask if she'd thought of just going for colostrum just to give the baby a good start, though, and then hope she didn't find it too bad...

doggiesayswoof · 17/04/2007 20:05

Pruni I think you did right. Non-judgmental, non-emotive and factual points that you only really know if you are a professional or you've been there yourself (I'm thinking especially of the conflicting advice from hcps bit - that was a huge shock to me in the early days - god I was so naive)

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