Nursing strike help please!

[cantlivewithoutcoffee]

My 11 month old is currently refusing to breastfeed after being unwell. Sometimes she cries the minute she sees me adjusting my top to feed, others she will go to put her mouth on the breast and then pull away like it's upsetting her. I've tried skin to skin (cried even more), feeding in different positions (including standing and rocking), feeding when drowsy, in her sleep and had no success with any.

I'm sure she's not ready to completely stop as the breast has always been her main source of comfort (in the past she stops all solids plus bottle and just breastfeeds when unwell) but I'm just not sure what to do anymore. It's so upsetting for us both because she wants comfort but doesn't know how to get it without the breast

I had this after my son had horrid mouth ulcers with hand, foot and mouth at the same age. He was on strike for 5 days and it was awful so I feel for you. Keep expressing to keep your supply up. Keep offering but don't push it at all if she's getting distressed. I used a syringe to get some expressed milk down him as it was the sucking that was sore.
The evening he nursed again I had given him a little expressed milk, done bedtime routine, he was super sleepy and I just coaxed and tried to keep myself as relaxed as possible and he finally latched. Just keep trying and be patient although I know it's hard.

Thanks so much for your reply, it gives me hope that perhaps she will start feeding again.

I'm on day 3 now, for the first 2 days, she took a few sucks when she woke up in the morning and no more after that. Today, she hasn't even taken that. I did try be strict and only offer her expressed in a cup but she isn't eating much in the way of solids and not drinking water either so I gave in today and let her have some expressed milk in a bottle as I can't stand the thought of her going hungry. Not sure if I'm making a rod for my own back by doing this.

I'm expressing less and less each time so getting really worried for my supply now. How often did you express when he wasn't feeding?

We don't co-sleep or feed to sleep and dropped the dream feed many months ago which I think is the reason feeding when drowsy or asleep isn't successful.

I expressed every time he would normally have fed (including through the night, fun times!) Our situation was slightly different as he's never taken a bottle and wasn't yet on 3 meals , hence the syringe. I thing an overly hungry baby is only going to be more distressed and likely to be too upset to settle and feed so I think you did the right thing with the bottle. Don't worry too much about supply as long as you keep expressing I think it will be recoverable. There's a lot of good info on kellymom.com which might be helpful. I'm sure once she is feeling more herself she may just naturally go looking for the breast again. I really feel for you it's one of my toughest times so far as a mum, hang in there!

Just re read your bit about not eating or drinking, sounds similar to our situation then. We didn't have a wet nappy for over 24hrs I was so worried. It all worked out ok though, I would keep getting fluids in with bottle as much as you can.

So glad it all worked out well for your little one, I can imagine how scary it must have been to have not had a wet nappy for so long - I got worried when we had a dry one after 4 hours. I was already leaning towards giving her the bottle because I couldn't handle the thought of her feeling hungry and the dry nappy tipped me over the edge and I gave in.

We've had a few hiccups with weaning so although I offer 3 meals, she doesn't eat anywhere nearly that much (she eats the amounts all her friends eat in one meal over the entire day). I'm just desperately hoping she latches soon, it's so horrible seeing them so upset but unable to get what they want.

Thanks for the advice, really helps to speak to someone who's been through it and had a good outcome

How is she today OP?

No progress unfortunately. Still refusing in the same way she has for past few days.
Tried having a bath with her, she was calm and content but didn't want to go near the breast at all.

She is really clingy and irritable - I can see she desperately wants comfort but doesn't know how to get it, it's so hard for her

Have you tried her with calpol? I'd take her to the GP in the morning and get her ears, throats and tummy all checked out. Have you tried calling one of the Bfing Helplines too?

It all started with an infection which she is being treated for. Ears were clear, her stomach wasn't checked by GP but I can't see any signs of stomach upset. We did give calpol initially but infection seems to be getting under control so am not giving it right now, any signs of fever or pain then I do give a dose though.

I called LLL helpline and the lovely advisor said I've been doing everything she could think of and to persevere and continue to express in the meantime.

I'm on a breastfeeding group on fb and did a search on nursing strike, from what others have discussed it's apparently fairly common at this age, majority appear to have managed to re-establish breastfeeding but I'm so worried that I may be in the minority who don't succeed. Family just keep telling me I should be proud I got this far (majority have breastfed but tend to stop by 8-9 months) but I feel like they are missing the point - poor baby wants comfort and doesn't know how to get it and that is what is upsetting me so much

You really are doing everything you can. I just thought trying the calpol would reduce any pain she may be in. If she then nurses, you'll know what was stopping her

Have you tried making lollies from your ebm?

I feel like the breast is reminding her of a bad experience (most likely pain) so she is too scared to latch and try it again. She goes to feed and then turns away just before putting her mouth on my nipple.

The lollies have had mixed response - sometimes she prefers them, others she will drink expressed milk from a cup which makes me think it's not the taste of milk that's the problem

It's is probably pain from her mouth, throats or eats last time. Can't remember if you've tried while she is asleep?

Yes we did, no success unfortunately because we dropped the dreamfeed a while ago and she doesn't feed to sleep.
It's a tough one because she's a super light sleeper so can't take her out of her cot without waking her up and she doesn't sleep well at all if in bed with me. She fell asleep in the bed at one point which is when I tried putting breast near her but she wasn't interested

Just to say I hope things are improving and hang in there! You are doing everything you can, lots of cuddles and try to keep things relaxed. Am rooting for you both!

She just fed

She was so calm too, I feel like jumping up and down with joy now! I'm trying not to build up my hopes and expectations that it will go back to feeding as normal after just one feed but I am so happy that there is some hope again.

Thank you ladies so much for the advice and for encouraging me to keep trying, it really helped to speak to people who have been there. I am so grateful to you both

So, so, happy for you!

Well done coffee, just keep trying and stay relaxed.
Easier said than done!

Thanks ladies, going to try again in an hour just before putting her to bed. Hopefully will have a second successful feed!

Yippee! So happy to see this update! Isn't it the best feeling when they finally take a feed well done for not giving up, hope all continues smoothly.

Thank you and thanks for the support :)
She doesnt want to feed lying down but she has had 3 feeds in my lap so far, am so unbelievably happy!

Prior to this, I was considering slowly starting to wean from the breast but I don't think either of us are ready for it yet, happy to keep going for a while if she wants to

Sounds like you are both enjoying it