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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Emotions when breastfeeding

12 replies

SamJ2012 · 08/09/2017 09:21

Hi - I'm 5 weeks in, mixed feeding DC2. I have a question for collective wisdom on here. I've heard a lot about the surge of oxytocin and the bond you are supposed to feel while BFing. But I don't have it! Is that normal?

To be clear, it's not that I don't care for DC2, and I generally find her adorable, but I don't get a special feeling of that while BFing. It's no longer painful to feed her and I'm pretty proud to have managed any after last time, but it's not the experience people describe.

DC1 was formula fed after a month of pumping (he would never latch). So I have no grounds for comparison.

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 08/09/2017 09:24

I never had the 'rush of love' while breastfeeding either. But she's almost 2 and we're still going! Interestingly, when she started dropping feeds I noticed that my mood lowered for a few days before leveling out in line with her new routine.

ricepolo · 08/09/2017 09:33

I'm currently bf #4 and have bf the others (for between 12-20 months each so have a fair bit of experience). I think the 'rush' is more of a slow build: that every feed increases your bond but incrementally so you only notice it in retrospect. I've had occasional feeds when I get a real 'wow, I love you' feeling, but whether that's the bf or just the closeness and fact I'm focusing on the baby, I'm not sure. A lot of the time bf is simply a job which has to be dine, rather than a wonderful 'experience'. Guess it's a bit like our meals: sometimes we eat simply to stay alive but sometimes having a meal is a really special time.

So don't worry: baby still gets all the nutritional value from your milk and it will increase your bonding, even if you're not consciously aware of it at the time.

Oh and Well done-keep going :)

barefootinkitchen · 08/09/2017 09:33

I think I felt it most strongly by feeding her at home, just us, having nothing else going on in the room, just watching her tiny face. If there were distractions I don't think I would have felt it the same.

gandalfspants · 08/09/2017 09:34

I usually only get that 'rush' of love when she's asleep and angelic and adorable and I have a quiet moment to just look at her (obviously I love her all the time). Sometimes she goes to sleep feeding so it coincides, but I don't think I've ever really got it from feeding generally.

She's almost one and I did feel a bit lost when she started nursery and stopped feeding from me in the day.

Whippetmamma · 08/09/2017 09:38

Can only speak from my own experience as like you I had this worry early on. I didn't have the warm glowey feeling while BFing that my HV was going on about and was talked about during the antinatal classes. I just found it utterly exhausting for the first 3 months! And I honestly felt so relieved when I found out others felt this way too.
A couple of months down the line I have an amazing bond with my wee boy but still don't have the glowey feelings whilst feeding, although occasionally he comes off the boob and does this big grin usually followed by a massive fart and that does make me giggle 😂
Don't know if that was any help, but just wanted to let you know you weren't alone :-)

legogeek · 08/09/2017 09:41

I think it's a slow burner - definitely no obvious rush here when feeding as more concerned about latch / stopping my back hurting! But I think I'd find I'd miss it a lot if we suddenly stopped.

Wreckingball25 · 08/09/2017 09:45

I'm only feeding my nine month old overnight now and dropping breastfeeding has exactly corresponded with me getting stress eczema! So maybe it was even more useful to me than I realised Smile

Original poster
SamJ2012 · 08/09/2017 10:00

Thank you all. So reassuring!

OP posts:
bigmamapeach · 08/09/2017 19:38

I think I had this a lot with no1 (with whom paradoxically it was way more difficult) but not at all with no2. I love them both equally and deeply, just I think the process of feeding them was a bit different somehow? With no2 i was so much busier. I don't think it means anything is "wrong" if there is no sudden rush. But the bond is there, right? And there is no pain or adverse feeling..? So I would suggest to try not to worry. I don't think it means the hormones are messed up or anything scary like that. Just one of those things - it can be a different experience for different people (and babies!)

bigmamapeach · 08/09/2017 19:40

Sorry, I mean on the times I was feeding no1 and it went well, I had the most intense sensations of love, but with no2 it was like, feed him, done, put him down, deal with no1 (toddler), house, chores, tea, jobs, etc etc etc. No time to chill and feel lovey

FartnissEverbeans · 10/09/2017 18:07

I felt it when I was formula feeding so I don't think it has anything to do with bf at all.

mama0got0moves · 14/09/2017 23:15

I've only just started feeling a rush of happiness during 'some' feeds within the last few weeks. My DS is 12 weeks.

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