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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Why can't I do this breast feeding thing?!

12 replies

Kittysparks1 · 05/09/2017 01:31

My baby is 3 weeks now and I'm really struggling with this breast feeding shite. My right nipple is on fire. The pain is awful. My left nip is fine.
I know pain means bad latch but I can't for the life of me get it right. I've watched every video on YouTube and copied what they are doing but my right nip is agony.
I'm going to go to one of those breast feeding groups in the morning for more help. I've had a lot of help already, they all say the latch is good. How can it be if I literally want to scream if baby feeds of right boob.
It's been 3 weeks and it still take up to 15 minutes to even get him to latch. He NEVER opens his mouth wide no matter what I do. He has been checked for tongue tie, all ok.
Ive been using that lanolin cream since the beginning just as a precaution but it doesn't work!
We have tried every position.
I'm going out of my mind. After a shit pregnancy and a traumatic birth I was hoping to enjoy my baby but it's shit. I cry every night. I really want to be able to breast feed him.
He has plenty of wet and dirty nappies so the milk must be getting in. I just can't bear the pain and I'm so scared of my left nip going the same way because then there will be no way in hell I can feed him. This is miserable.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 05/09/2017 01:42

You might have damage to the nipple that is causing the pain when feeding. Could you give that side a break from direct feeding and express from that side instead for a while? Do nipple shields help?

Have you seen any videos of the exaggerated latch (or flipple)? That might help if you haven't tried it already.

I had similar excruciating pain in the early weeks with both my DSs, and would have to psych myself up for each feed. I did get through it though and got to pain free feeding in both cases. I know it can seem like torture but it doesn't last for ever, and looking back now at 15 months with DS2, still breastfeeding, it seems like a distant memory already.

sanityisamyth · 05/09/2017 01:44

Don't beat yourself up - you're doing a fantastic job. It's not easy!! I had similar issues. I have huge boobs which made feeding really hard and my nipple on the right was non-existent (wouldn't actually get hard) so couldn't feed that side and my left got really sore.

Nipple shields were my saviour!! Guarded against the left side from getting sore and also gave something for my DS to latch on to on the right.

I did feed him towards the end on just the left which didn't seem to make any different to the side of the boobs, of mastitis etc. The support group in the morning is a good plan - good luck!!

Hmmalittlefishy · 05/09/2017 01:48

I don't have any advice to give but just wanted to say good luck and hopefully the group will help in the morning. It's tough in the middle of the night but hopefully you can get sorted soon
You are doing a great job whatever the outcome of feeding. Well done for keeping trying Flowers Cake tomorrow - proven (ish) to help breastfeeding!

Lenl · 05/09/2017 01:58

themilkmeg.com/the-latch-looks-great-really-tell-that-to-my-burning-nipple/

Don't know if the above link will be helpful at all?
Also who has checked for tongue tie? Would be worth paying for a lactation consultant to come to your home and have a proper look. Cost £50 for this service here. Whereabouts are you? A breastfeeding group is a good idea. Try not to beat yourself up. My first baby was easy to feed, my 11 week old (hence why I'm here in the middle of the night haha) not so easy.

Is your babies tongue very white? If so does it rub off easily with a clean cloth? I went to have his mild tongue tie snipped and the doc noticed thrush where no one else did. Don't know if the tongue tie division or the thrush treatment made it easier but although it's not perfect now feeding is easier and less painful.

It's really not your fault. It's hard. Support is limited. If your baby can't open his mouth well for whatever reason it's extra hard.

I find I can get the best latch laying in bed on my side propped on my arm. I think because my baby slides about less and I can move him up and down the bed to the right position.

Sorry if this is jumbled I'm very tired!

Changeschangechangeagain · 05/09/2017 02:15

My baby was premature and I struggled to get her to latch on properly. As she got older I still struggled. I eventually ended up expressing for 6 months.

We found out years later that her mouth development would have made it difficult for her to breastfeed. Apparently in the past, midwifes used to check babies mouths to make sure they'd breastfeed properly and they've stopped doing this.

I got very frustrated with breastfeeding. It would have been good to know that it was unlikely to work.

FleasSitOnPeas · 05/09/2017 02:25

Try a nipple shield. I had a perfectly latching feeding baby on my right side, and a very painful experience on the other side. No obvious trauma to nipple and It looked like the perfect latch (even to a consultant), but clearly something funky was going on. I rode it out, with nipple shields at the worst points and after 2 months the baby figured it out himself and it has been plain sailing since. Now we're 20 months in and still going strong.

Sometimes when he would refuse to feed from the painful side I'd start on the good side for a minute then quickly move him over. That sometimes helped too. It's also possible to feed exclusively from just one breast, though you may be a bit uneven in size for a while as the unused one dries up.

Congratulations on your baby and well done getting this far despite everything. It can be really shit and really hard. Support group/ lactation consultant is a good start if you want to continue.

newmum7369 · 05/09/2017 02:28

Hi OP. I had very similar latching problems with my now 5 week old DS. I only stuck it out until day 4 and that was hell so you are doing way better than me for a start!

The difference in my experience was that DS wasn't really feeding at all when he was on the breast and was probably starving hungry during his first few days at home. We got to the bottom of this after seeing a lactation consultant on day 5.

I tried all sorts from support groups and You Tube to nipple guards and special cushions. It sounds like nipple guards might help you, Boots sell them for about £5. There is also a type of cushion which is sort of circular and clips round your waist; it's called My Breast Friend, they are £55 in John Lewis and are a lot firmer than the traditional v-shaped pillow most people use meaning the baby is in a much straighter position and you are more comfortable as a result.

It was actually the nipple guards that made our problem apparent. They are clear and the lactation consultant said that the end should have been full on milk when DS was feeding. All I could see was condensation-like moisture on the inside and I had to squint to see that.

I made the decision to express and give this via a bottle, topped up with formula at night. It wasn't what I hoped for and I desperately wanted to breastfeed but it has worked out really well for us. DS is still getting 80% of his feeds from me, he sleeps for long periods during the day and only wakes once at night. I'm no longer in agony, still have my sanity and others can feed him to give me a break. Midwife is really happy with weight gain despite the tricky start and DS weighed 10lb 2oz when we were discharged at 2 weeks - although he was big at 9lb 5.5oz when he was born!

There are obviously down sides as with anything. It can be really difficult to make sure you regularly express throughout the day. You need to do it 6-8 times a day and once at night when the milk producing hormones are at their strongest. I've also shelled out over £200 on a medela double pump and dr browns bottles, although you could get cheaper alternatives if you wanted to.

Breastmilk can be out of the fridge for up to 6hrs so we tend to use this during the day when we tend to be out and about. It can be stored at the back of the fridge for several days, although you'd have to check how many days because it never lasts long enough in this house with guzzling DS forme to know! You can freeze it as well.

I am an absolute advocate for breastfeeding and it sounds as though you have every reason to continue if you want to. People say these early weeks are extremely hard until things just click and then you'll look back in a few months and be so glad you stuck to it. However I just want you to know that there is an alternative if you decide it's not for you and you shouldn't feel like you have no other options.

Good luck and well done Flowers

newbian · 05/09/2017 02:39

Definitely recommend a nipple shield. My baby destroyed my nipples with a tight latch early on and I needed them to allow time for the nipples to heal. Used for about 4-5 days and then I was able to latch her directly with less pain. I also had a lactation consultant come to help.

Have you heard of Silverettes? They can help with healing www.breastangels.co.uk/

mylaptopismylapdog · 05/09/2017 04:46

Sorry you are in so much pain. It could be mastitis which is very painful as I know from experience many years ago
if it is it can be treated so it might be worth getting it checked

ellesbellesxxx · 05/09/2017 04:49

That sounds really painful... you may be able to access an nct breastfeeding counsellor.. they are free where I am and were amazing help!

vlooby · 05/09/2017 04:58

Also please buy some breast shells. Wear them between feeds to let your nipples recover. I was the same as you, but after 24 hours I felt soooooo much better. X

Spam88 · 05/09/2017 13:00

I've been there OP, at one point I was crying during every feed. And that sense of dread when she started rooting 🙈 but we got through it and I'm so glad I stick with it - mostly because I'm lazy and it's so easy to stick a boob in her mouth the calm her.

Definitely give nipple shields a go. I'd use them for a few days at a time on my sore side just to allow the nipple to heal when it was cracked.

The suggestion of collection shells above is a good one as well - slather on some lanolin then pop a shell in your bra to stop your nipple rubbing against your bra/pad. This made a big difference for me.

It's unlikely to be the issue given that your pain is one sided, but one of the lactation consultants I saw said that it's quite common to have a bit of an allergy to lanolin if you're prone to things like dermatitis and that just a bit of Vaseline might be better (which also doesn't need to be removed before feeding).

Can your midwife or health visitor refer you to a lactation consultant? I really don't think I'd have stick with breast feeding without all the professional support.

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