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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

If you could have had a perfect start to your breastfeeding relationship with your baby

46 replies

hunkermunker · 29/03/2007 16:53

What would it have been?

Am involved with local hospital developing new policy and want to get opinions from maternity service users.

Can be things like knowing what to expect from your healthcare professionals, to having enough pillows on your bed to support you to feed to skin-to-skin after birth - what would have made the difference to you?

Thank you.

OP posts:

Tatties · 29/03/2007 16:56

Ah pillows! I had to take my own to hospital!

I wish they had the facilities to encourage co-sleeping, and enough staff to have the time to help you get the baby latched on

Lizzylou · 29/03/2007 16:58

I did have the perfect start, for me, with DS1, mainly in the form of an extremely patient, soothing and encouraging midwife on the maternity ward (well, room). She was excellent, showed me what position to be in and wasn't even vaguely intrusive. She was an absolute godsend, checked on me throughout that very strange and wonderful first night and was so supportive, a gem. She also spoke to my Mom on the phone and told her I was "a natural mother", which I most certainly am not, but it made my confidence grow and made me feel very proud.

Mumpbump · 29/03/2007 17:01

Ours was fine. M/w put ds to my breast after I had been sorted out - maybe about 1 hour after the birth - he was fine, I was fine, they wouldn't let me out until they'd seen me feed him (which irritated me, but makes sense) and I never had any problems... In the nicest possible way, I hope someone who did have problems comes along so they can give you more informed feedback...

Miaou · 29/03/2007 17:03

Oooh fab hunker - I am doing the same with the NHS in the Highlands (assuming I can get time off work to do it in the future).

Will watch this thread with interest ...

Swizzler · 29/03/2007 17:05

Another good experience here - put DS to the breast soon after the birth (before he was weighed etc) and mw said not to worry if he didn't feed, just to have a cuddle. Anyway, he did latch on and hasn't looked back

Lots of encouragement from mws the day after the birth as well when he was too tired to feed much.

hatrick · 29/03/2007 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RanToTheHills · 29/03/2007 17:12

do it straight away, I'm sure that's crucial,women should be gently guided to do so. Failed to with ds1 (and no-one insisted or even tried to persuade me). Did immediately with ds2 and never had any problems at all.

southeastastra · 29/03/2007 17:15

yes someone there straight away. i had a csection and was left alone for 3 hours. i couldn't even reach my son. it was terrible.

i had lots of support with my first son and was helped straight away. he didn't leave my side for hours.

SydneyB · 29/03/2007 17:18

Expain clearly how often you need to feed them! No-one told me to put DD to my breast very frequently and as she was jaundiced and sleepy this was crucial advice that might have stopped us being readmitted for weight loss a few days later. No-one sat down and explained things to me. All I got were vague 'every 4 hours', 'don't let her go more than 5 hours between feeds'. I know there just aren't the resources but I would have loved some time straight away with a b/f counsellor. I had NO idea what I was doing as it was just impossible to focus on the feeding before the birth. Someone needs to grab you straight away and sort you out!

yomellamoHelly · 29/03/2007 17:21

Directly after birth was actually very good both times (dh had been primed though to help me out and made sure I had everything I needed regarding pillows, blanket, cups of tea, juice etc.) - it was the aftercare on the wards.
More pillows would definitely have helped on the wards. Also help to put up one of the sides of the bed (with ds1 the bed was new and it was really stiff) and for them to allow it to stay up (was in hosp for 3 nights with ds1 and they kept taking it down and lecturing me about how it was for their use not mine and how I musn't co-sleep?!? I was so sore I had to wait for dh to come back to put it up again. (With ds2 they were too understaffed to wind me up too much thank goodness and I left pretty quickly.) Also to leave me in peace to snuggle up with ds. The staff were very good at ignoring me until the minute we were both comfy lying down in bed it seemed. Actually found it quite hard feeding ds sitting up all the time.
Also found the stupid mealtimes quite hard going too. If they'd had sandwiches and fruit and nuts and juices etc for sale either from a wagon (good chance to raise money for charity) or a machine I'd definitely have bought lots both for dh during labour and after for us both. I wasn't really interested in chocolate and fizzy drinks either time. By the time I got home with ds1 I already felt exhausted from the bfing.
At home with both dss when I was feeding at night dh would come in after a few minutes for the first couple of weeks to ask if I needed anything (from a glass of water, fetching me a banana or laying out stuff for a nappy change or even clothes change or changing the sheets in his crib). Made those first nights much easier when dss and I were struggling to get the hang of it. (I think not being stressed/worrying about what I have to do next makes the bfing much easier.)

marymillington · 29/03/2007 17:22

pillows - yes
staff who have a sense when their help is needed, and when to get their hands off you
information and support without accompanying lecture
not having the curtains whisked open on you to the full view of other patients' visiting grandparents whilst trying get a latch going
etc

Dinosaur · 29/03/2007 17:24

I was really lucky in that I managed to breastfeed all three, including DS1 who was in SCBU for 8 days and who was tube-fed at first.

Low point for me was some old cow in the post-natal ward insisting on offfering DS2 some formula because he wouldn't settle. Thanks be to God, he wasn't having any of it.

popsycal · 29/03/2007 17:31

A list of helpline numbers given in hospital with a 'please-please-ring-about-anything' title attatched to it
Pillows!
Poor midwives having time to support breastfeeders - mine were great and said to buzz them at every feed with my first but I still felt as though I were imposing.
People who have breast fed successfully visiting the ward to provide a friendly face and moral support (our local hospital now has this but did not when i was there)

popsycal · 29/03/2007 17:32

oh yes - clear explanation that you will be feeding around the clock; need to feed between 2-3 hours; that feeds may take a long time; how to safely co-sleep
breast feeding workshops - although i think they be more helpful AFTER having the baby rather than before!

Enid · 29/03/2007 17:33

the importance of skin to skin after birth

not whipping baby away to wash her

yellowrose · 29/03/2007 18:14

I gave birth in a wonderful birth centre, The Edgware B C in North London.

I had a fab birth experince, but a very poor bf one. Ds would not latch for first 4 days of life (he was born 17 days early and it was not pointed out to me that this may cause a feeding problem). Ds had absolutley nothing in the middle of a heat wave, only may be drops of colostrum during the few seconds he latched. No formula. A friend came to help on day 4 and we were off !

MW's at B C and at home were well-meaning but had poor knowledge of a non-latching baby. No expressing and spoon/syringe feeding was ever suggested.

What I would change ? MW/HV/GP KNOWLEDGE AND TRAINING - both in hospitals and outside.

berolina · 29/03/2007 18:24

Well, no pressure on day bloody 3 to give formula or suffer the consequences (I paraphrase only slightly) would have helped. The longer ago it was, the more I realise we almost certainly could have made it without.

It had been a long and exhausting labour, but I think they were too eager to take ds 'off my hands' and into the nursery for the first night (after that I insisted on rooming in).

A MW with a clue about bf would have really helped (with latch and so on) in the early days - and I still can't believe they had me test weighing.

berolina · 29/03/2007 18:25

(There is, btw, a very happy ending to our difficult bf start - namely exclusive bf from 4 weeks to 6.5 months and a 22-month-old ds who is still bf to this day - thanks in no small part to MN )

Tatties · 29/03/2007 18:26

Oh yes, encourage to feed very soon after birth

macneil · 29/03/2007 18:40

I can tell you my imperfect start. After my c-section, I wasn't offered skin to skin and hadn't heard about it other than it was a nice thing, in a slightly hippie-ish way, so that didn't happen. As it wasn't offered, I didn't really dare ask about it, although I'd ticked a thing on the hospital form saying I wanted it.

I was left in a recovery room with my husband for 3-4 hours while they got my actual room ready for me. I was visited in that time for medical check ups, but no one mentioned breast feeding, and the baby slept, and I was post-op and a bit confused so I didn't think of doing it. The next day I couldn't make her latch on, and the nurses shoved her face into my massive breast until she was smothered and screaming, and the day after the same and the day after the same, until I fed her formula from a bottle because she was losing weight so quickly and I hadn't slept and was terrified she was going to die. I never managed to breastfeed, and have expressed milk for her first 4 months (by which I mean it wasn't because I gave up too quickly).

So, earlier intervention, please, and by someone who understood breastfeeding difficulties a bit better than my nurses seemed to.

katyjo · 29/03/2007 18:43

Help on the ward, ds would latch on I would get really uncomfy and try to take him off so I could get in a better position (he would latch on for over an hour) I ended up hurting my nipples, he had good suction! I think it is so important for new mums to have someone that the can call on at anytime, I was left to my own devices and when I did buzz it would take ages for someone to come.

BizzyDint · 29/03/2007 18:51

a big thing for me was educating myself before hand. so i went into labour knowing how i wanted it to go, with contingency plans. i also made sure dh knew what i wanted so he could speak up for me if i was too out of it or whatever.

thankfully i had decent midwives who were extremely helpful. they asked me as i was labouring what i wanted to happen when dd was born. they dimmed lights as she was born. they made sure i was comfortable as they brought her to my chest straight away for skin to skin contact. the midwife said to me i didn't need to do anything, my baby would wriggle to find my nipple (she was very alert,no drugs). she then suckled a bit straight away. a perfect start all in all.

on the post natal ward the midwives told me to ring the bell when i needed assistance. they kept checking how i was feeding, helped me feed laid down as well as sitting up. they had LOADS of pillows so i could try different positions. she was a big baby and i struggled to keep her lifted so they showed me alternatives. they also had oodles of breastfeeding posters showing positioning etc all around, very in your face about it really. then they wouldn't let me go home until they'd watched me do a feed on my own without help.

Gemmitygem · 29/03/2007 18:52

A dedicated midwife or counsellor to help you with feeding straight after the birth and come back to check on you regularly till you'd got it.

I had the luxury of giving birth in a 'baby friendly' hospital in Belgium, and was able to ring for midwife at every feed if I wanted to check the latch etc. They were amazing! You just need well trained midwives who keep on at you, helping you until you feel confident, and then you need to be able to phone someone once you're home...

BizzyDint · 29/03/2007 18:53

a little card to each and every new mum with kellymom details and all the phone line bfc support would be good. i had all that, but then i worked it out for myself. lots of mums don't, they rely on staff at the hospital.

JodieG1 · 29/03/2007 19:00

More encouragement to actually bf would have been great when I had dd. She was born prem and started on tube being fed glucose, I wish they would have offered help or advice so I could have expressed for her. They started her on sma gold and I didn't really think to question it then. I know more now and if I was in the same situation I'd have been ok but back then I was younger and knew less. I really regret not bf her every day now especially as she has asthma, allergies and abdominal migraine which we're trying to work out triggers for (possibly milk) and I can't help blaming myself for not bf her. Anyway, more encouragement would have been great.

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