Newborn Breastfeeding Help Needed

[Sparklyuggs]

I'm having issues with my 8 day old. EBF so far, and no problems with latch and positioning. Baby lost 13% of birth weight but has been checked by the paediatrician and is fine, it's due to jaundice and c-section delivery.

I'm really struggling with the lack of sleep and to "sleep when the baby sleeps". Last night my baby clusterfed for six hours and I cried for most of that due to tiredness, stress and hormones; and my milk supply went down.

My DH is concerned about the toll of EBF on my mental and physical health (had a tough pregnancy due to pre-existing conditions) and wants me to combination feed or switch to formula. I really want to keep breastfeeding as much as possible and have no idea how to combination feed. I'd happily go to the local BF support group but I don't know what I'd be asking as the actual breastfeeding is fine, it's the sleep deprivation that isn't.

Any advice?

Milk production - Drink loads of water and eat regularly. Keep big bottle of water and tub of biscuits and fruit etc by the bed.

Sleep - Try to learn feeding lying down so you can doze with baby attached.

• I followed the advice that baby needs a feed every 3 hours so after feeding baby I would let DH take over and take baby downstairs while I forced myself to sleep upstairs with earplugs. I knew baby was safe and would not starve for 3h. DH under instructions not to wake me before the 3h was up.

Congratulations on your LO

BF support group - fab for talking to other mums and asking how they coped with cluster feeding etc.

Didn't want to read and run but nothing much more to add as NotTheCoolMum has given great advice x

Congratulations, 8 days is brilliant! The sleep deprivation and the loneliness is what knocked me sideways (mines 6 months old and bf but I ended up staying up to catch up on The Handmaids Tale as its time I get to myself) Keep posting on here, are you on the May 2017 baby thread? (not sure exact name) talking it through with other mums at the same stage made me feel less alone and got lots of great tips. Also there should be a La Leche league fb group for your local area you can join xx

It is exhausting at the beginning.
Fenugreek supplements and oats will help boost milk supply as will baby's cluster feeding.
Nipple sheilds will help the pain. Use nipple cream if you're not already. If you want to combo feed I'd wait til about 6 weeks. You then choose which feeds you wish to replace with a bottle. A good one is 11pm then you can feed and put to sleep then dad gives bottle giving you a long stretch of sleep. Be prepared for baby to guzzle the bottle - milk flows faster from a teat than a nipple. It does not mean baby is starving.
If you thing baby is suckling for comfort you could try to break the 'seal'by sliding you're little finger into baby's mouth then leaving finger there. You could also introduce a dummy.
Kellymom is a great website.
Ask hv for breast feeding group details.
See a la leche league consultant.
Keep going, you're doing brilliantly!

I really feel for you, my baby is 13 weeks now but at first I found ebf completely exhausting and had similar conversations.
Looking back I'm not too sure what pushed me through the early weeks apart from taking one day at a time and after a feed immediately going to sleep and having someone else look after the baby and trying to catch up in the day as much as possible:
At 7 weeks we started introducing a bottle of formula which did massively reduce the pressure.
Professionals will tell you that if you start bottle feeding now that baby won't then bf but I'm not sure that's 100% accurate but I suppose it is a risk. The main thing at the moment is that you want your supply to be maintained as it's not been in long.
Little self care things helped me like having bottles of water in the fridge that I could grab each time as I got so thirsty and I used to have snacks like a cereal bar next to the bed for when I was feeding in the night.

The sleep when baby sleeps thing is just a myt. Accept that this is how it will be for a few weeks. It really will get better. You don't need a problem to go to breastfeeding support group, just pop for a chat.

Have you got a pump? Early morning is best time to express.

It's up to you if you want to combination feed, if you want to ebf then tell your husband that and ask him to support you. But if you give bottle do it in the day as those night feeds are important for your milk production.

Good luck

I introduced a bottle of expressed milk at two weeks. Used the Tommy tippee closer to nature bottles. Think I tried the pre mix formula around 3 weeks. Felt massive guilt. At 16 weeks she now has 4 bottles of formula a week (the little bottles come in a four pack) and I am happy with that. She still feeds 2-3 hours in the day but will go 8 hours at night.

Congratulations Feeding lying down was the biggest help for me getting rest and sleep, you don't have to cosleep but it is infinitely better feeding lying down and remaining a little drowsy then you can drop off yourself as soon as you have put baby back in their cot/Moses basket. If your DH wants to help you he needs to take the baby in between feeds for a few days to let you catch up on a bit of sleep, formula top ups may damage your milk supply, so if you want to keep bf you need to find alternative ways to keep yourself sane. But at the end of the day a fed baby is a happy baby and they don't care where their milk is coming from. Cluster feeding is soul destroyingly tiring but it is a phase and it will pass, as will most of the difficult bits of the baby stages. Make sure you keep yourself hydrated and keep snacks to hand at all times, get your DH to get you drinks and food you really like which is exclusively for you.

I was at a very similar point to you, baby wasn't gaining weight still after 14 days and I was struggling with everything, lack of sleep, cracked nipples etc. I started combi feeding and it helped so much. LO started having one bottle of formula a day. The ready made cow and gate stuff as it is easier on their stomachs apparently. We offered 100ml at this point. My husband did this feed at 11pm ish so I could go to bed and get a couple of hours sleep before she started wanting night feeds. It helped soooo much! I also started feeding laying down on my side at night so I could safely feed her while dosing. If you take all your pillows away - or just keep 1 at most, then lay on your side with your knees bent up and you arm on the side you are laying out in front of you it makes a safe position to feed as it is very difficult for you to roll forwards. Also completely take your quilt cover away so it can't go over baby. I would often wake up to find a content fed baby sound asleep next to me and just slide her across into her crib. When she was feeding every two hours or more at night I was feeling like I just wasn't getting any sleep between feeds so this saved me.

We're now at 13 weeks, she still has one bottle of formula a day before bed (but this has become 7pm rather than 11pm, and she is up to 8oz!) and 99% of the time I'm only getting up once in the night to feed her. She is now regularly sleeping from 8pm - 4am (feed) 4:45am -8am ish. I no longer feed while sleeping as she is only up once.

Btw I know some people find formula helps them to sleep more. This was never the case with us, I tried switching her bottle of formula to a bottle of expressed breastmilk and she slept for exactly the same time so if you're not keen on the formula idea you could use expressed breast milk instead. The Hakka pump is great for collecting it from one side whilst you feed from the other.

Good luck and keep going. It does get so much better, I promise!!

Our dd has had formula top ups since day 4 due to initial weight loss. We have gradually reduced the top ups as she was gaining weight well, and now just has one bottle before bed so dh can still be involved. We use the tommee tippee bottles as well.
Those first few weeks were exhausting, but now dd regularly sleeps for 5/6 hour blocks at night and bf is a lot easier. She's nearly 15 weeks.
I second the bf support groups. I still go to one and really enjoy the company.

I second maybe trying a dummy. As said by a PP professionals say don't introduce dummy or bottle early on due to nipple confusion so we held out for as long as possible to give the dummy and tbh I wish I had given it to him weeks earlier. Babies have a natural instinct to suck and half the time I thought he was 'feeding' he was just sucking.
If you do end up introducing a dummy make sure you do feed at least every three hours as sometimes it can make them forget they are hungry .
I know you've heard this from everyone but it DOES get better. I think we turned the corner at 3 weeks. But mixed feeding is a good option too. You will make the right decision for you and your baby.

I feel your pain (and joy!), my baby is 1 month old and I've been dealing with a huge 3-6 hour feed every evening! However in this instance it's poor milk transfer due to tongue tie so it takes her longer to fill up.

I honestly don't think it's a myth to sleep when baby does in the early stages. You've got a partner to do all cooking and cleaning, to take baby away from you when not feeding so you can sleep. My partner is back to work so me and DD sleep in same room during the day although it's harder as I hear every snuffle!

Your job is to feed, feed, feed! He can do everything else.

The other advice like water, snacks, pumping, Kelly mom (great regarding cluster feeding) bf support group, midwives (they may not even discharge you the health visitor yet if baby still not gained enough weight.

The worry is if you add in formula feed at this stage you won't produce enough milk. The cluster feeding is the baby's way of saying to your body 'make more' and your body will respond.

That's said please don't push yourself too far, you still have to enjoy your baby and if you start to feel too down and that you can't do anymore then it's better baby is fed formula and has a happy mum than is breast fed and you are fighting possibles depression

However you CAN do it!! You're amazing just like the rest of us!!

I have a lot of sympathy. I have a newborn too, and had four hours of non-stop cluster feeding the night before last. I feel lucky this morning because he only woke every hour instead of being constantly awake. I remember from last time being so tired that I hallucinated.

I agree heartily that the thing to look at is what else can you drop. Giving the baby over to your partner at some point so you can get some uninterrupted sleep is so important. It's quite right that a few odd hours without milk won't be terrible for the baby, and you might also leave a few mls in syringes or a small bottle.

Do as little else as possible right now. Go to bed as early as you can, get up as late as you can. This is a relatively short, intense, phase - and you should focus on putting yourself first; eat well (or at least, eat frequently, including overnight snacks) and drink lots.

If you do want to use formula occasionally, it's not the end of days. I started out mix-feeding my eldest because he'd been formula fed in NICU for five days, and my supply took a few days to catch up. I fed and fed, but during second week growth spurt, I was wiped and desperate, so we gave him some ready-made formula, and nothing terrible happened, and he (briefly) stopped yelling. I also felt slightly calmer that we'd managed to fill him up. We did this only a few times, and it was fine - no effect on supply, no confusion over teats (although bottle feeding wasn't something he liked, I think I'd syringe feed if I was in that position again).

Also, breastfeeding support groups are wonderful. Everyone is in the same boat, or has a clear memory of what it's like, and there'll be tea and biscuits. I trained as a peer supporter after attending them with my eldest child, because they were just so valuable as a supportive space.

I could have written your post 8 weeks ago.. one of my twins lost 14% of weight and the other 12%. What worked for us was using a cup so they could sip formula, which didn't affect their latch. one twin was EBF for a while as he started to not want the top ups! They both regained birth weight by day 10. Good luck!

Combination feeding is the key to your sanity! Then your hesband can be properly involved, too.

Thanks so much for your advice, I feel a lot less alone. I spend most of my time on kellymom already!

It sounds like I need to be firmer about going to sleep in the day, it's been tough as we live abroad and we've had the immediate family to stay who pretended to help but that's a whole other thread! It was tough straight after the c-section when I couldn't move or cosleep but hopefully that will get easier. Currently we have a next to me/sleepyhead combo which works well for night feeding to slide him across.

How long will the cluster feeding last? I'm going to see if I can buy more time for myself with my DH and Doc- both are concerned my chronic condition will relapse if I'm continually exhausted.

Have you had your iron levels checked? I had a blood transfusion when my baby was 4 days old, after being discharged on day 1.The crying and tiredness you mentioned rings a bell for how I felt, I was desperate. Other than that, definitely have a nap with the baby every day. My DD is 15 months old now, I'm back at work and still bf and I still need a nap at the weekend! Even if I don't actually sleep, just lying down for an hour or two is surprisingly much more relaxing than sitting on the sofa. And I still need to eat and drink more than usual, even now I'm only bfing a few times a day.

The cluster feeding comes in waves; my baby did it for a few days in a row early on then didn't do it for about 3-4 weeks then did it again for a few days. It's usually just before a growth spurt as it's the baby increasing your supply.
Sleep during the day when someone else can just keep an eye on the baby is probably how I managed looking back and also knowing that it will get better. I started night feeding in the dark/low light with a routine of food, wind and straight to bed which did slowly start helping her understand night is for sleep but that will take a few weeks to take hold

Continue to take vitamins while breastfeeding - and ask DH to take baby for walks in the pram so you can rest??
Clusterfeeding doesn't last forever but every baby is different. With DS2 I ended up co-sleeping (safely) and it was the only way I could get any sleep to be honest!!
The sleep deprivation is the worst part but this will get better, accept any help you can get for things like cooking meals / housework / laundry / changing nappies / taking baby for walks etc etc.

Combination feeding is not the end of the world (we had to do it with DS1 due to severe weight loss at 6 weeks old), but there's no guarantee baby will sleep any more, and instead of just moving baby to your side of the bed and latch them on you have to get up, make bottles, wait for them to get to the right temperature etc so I don't think it's that much easier to be honest!

I think whether you continue breastfeeding is your choice and not your DH's and he should support you no matter what, if mine had told me to stop there would've been words - the decision was mine!

Good luck either way.

Has the weight issue been resolved, OP?

tiktok we have another weighing session tomorrow so I'm keeping everything crossed for a weight gain. Fully stuck into the cluster feeding tonight!

The cluster feeding was a nightmare, I remember shedding quite a few tears especially as I also had terrible problems getting him to latch, but I promise you it will get better. I think co-sleeping and just coming out of the fourth trimester were what finally turned things around for us.

I really feel for you, my ds caused so much exhaustion with feeding. Eating oats helps your supply. Also if you can I would express a bottle. I would go to bed at 8pm after a cluster feeding session and my dh would stay up and give ds a 10pm/11pm bottle and I would get 3-4 hours uninterrupted sleep. It was a lifesaver. I used an electric pump and would pump in the morning when my supply was greater. Good luck with it all