breast feeding 14m - how do you know when to stop?

[StinkyPete]

I've (almost) exclusively bf dd. on demand for first 7m, then as part of a routine until 14m. Recently, she seems happy with morning and evening, but during the day she's very easily distracted and keeps biting blooming hard. On Sunday we had company in the afternoon and although I've never felt I shouldn't feed in front of anyone, I gave her a bottle of cow's milk. She lay back, closed her eyes, and devoured it lovingly .
Between the biting and the apparent preference for cow's milk - I'm now wondering if she would like to stop bf. Am I being selfish because I want to carry on?

A lot of people take the 'don't offer but don't refuse' stance.

Any new drink will have massive novelty value.
My ds (b/fed) has rather taken to a bottle at 21/2 as he found an old one lying around!

I'm not sure how don't offer don't refuse would work for us, as I do offer her drinks as part of her daily routine, i.e. mid morning, mid afternoon...Will give it some thought though.
What do we think about the biting?

If she bites,take her off with a sharp 'No!' and a stern face before tucking your boob away and walking off.
Once or twice is usually all they need.

When DS bit me, I stopped the feed and told him why. He's inclined to gnaw a little now, because my milk is drying up through pg, and I take him off and tell him not to gnaw.

He loves a cup of milk after his nap, and will have it in preference to a bf, but doesn't seem inclined to give up the bedtime feed.

Agree with moondog. Biting stage usually passes. I would give any other drinks out of a cup at this stage though, especially if you want to keep breastfeeding. No point starting a bottle habit now IMO.

we had the odd bite when she first got some teeth. putting her down with a serious no did the trick. This is a bit different - she bites hold and won't let go. blinking hurts.
Like the idea of not starting with bottles - that makes sense doesn't it

Baby will also indicate when they want to stop by totally refusing to feed. My youngest DD did that to me at 15 months which broke my heart because I wanted to continue. Unfortunately she bit me and i got such a shock that I screamed. She got such a fright she wouldn't go back on. She was still feeding morning and night and whenever she asked during the day. I tried to tempt her again over the next fortnight but she wouldn't give in.

I BF 3 times before and just went through the biting stage by interrupting the feed. DS3 I fed till 14 months but then I felt uncomfortable because he looked so big and faffed about a lot, only having feed first thing in the morning. I just stopped and he didn't bother at all.

As soon as she lets go, stop the feed and tell her why. At 14 months she probably understands what you're saying, and this way she'll learn that you mean what you say and that her behaviour has consequences. Not all of which she will like!

I never did bottles either but it was funny when my ds found that old one (for new baby EBM feeds) and wouldn't let go.

mears - I think my problem is I'm just not emotionally ready to stop. I fed ds until 13m and we both stopped quite naturally. But dd is going to be my last baby and i know I'm not ready to end this stage just yet.
Hence my question - am I being selfish?

I feed my dd2 until 27 months. One weekend my mum was staying and she let me sleep in, all she said to dd2 was no milk, mummy is sleeping. She did this fo 2 mornings and then on the 3rd morning i got up and said no milk just breakfast (the time felt right). DD2 just accepted this. You should do it for as long as both of you want, one way or the other you know. It is a wonderful experience who wouldn't want to continue that closeness, they grow up so quick.

SP,how on earth can it be selfish to want to give your baby your milk?
It is such a lovely thing to do.Honestly,I get so emotional thinking that I fed my babies with my own body.It truly is one of the things I am most proud of in my entire life.

You're not ready to give up and there is no earthly reason why you should.
Dd enjoying cows milk in a bottle bears no relation to yuor continued desire to breastfeed.

Carry on and be proud.

XX

No I don't think you are being selfish. Biting does not mean your DD wants to stop. The biting stage will stop naturally (please make sure you don't scream at her!). You cannot force a baby to breast feed(believe me I tried). Carry on offering until she wants to stop. They all do evenyually

Hi Stinks.

I'm still feeding my 26 month old.
I fed my other three 'til they were about 2 or 3. Sometimes it merged a bit and I can't quite remember what was what because I was feeding two at once.

Don't worry, my 8, 7 and 5 year olds don't ask for milk. You do it for as long as you fancy.

I've never had to go through engorgement or discomfort. It all seems so smooth and easy.

Message withdrawn

thanks ladies,
so this evening she had a reasonable drink from me, then started messing and biting. I put her down about 4 times and was really serious but calm, but she just kept laughing. I passed her to dh with cows milk in a cup with a spout and she drank quite a bit of that. Then as she was getting tired, she crept back to me and had a sneaky sleepy bf.
I guess I just need to keep an open mind. Your comments have helped, so many thanks.