Any mum's have post 12 months breastfeeding advice??

[worrierandwine]

My Dd2 is 14 months and has never taken to either bottle or dummy but loves boob. I'm happy to continue BF but I just wondered if anyone had any advice or experience with

1. How to get them sleeping through the night but maintain BF
2. Is there a way to stop them grabbing at your boobs/ trying to pull your top down whenever they fancy a feed/ comfort.
3. Is there an ideal point to stop or (as I suspect) dependant on each baby?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Hi! I didn't want to read and run but I've been bfing DD for 2 years and she's also a dummy and bottle refuser. She's just started sleeping 12-6 and at around 18 months we did only booby and night time and she rarely asks in the day now unless she's hurt or unwell.

Oh and im not stopping until she does. But that's our choice and I know other bf mums who have stopped when they wanted to. I'm sure someone will be along in a min with better info than me!

Do you have a partner? All my dc have been boob monsters and the only way to stop night feeding was to get Dh to put them to bed and get up to them in the night. Only lasted a fortnight at worst before they slept through, and ds2 was at that point still waking every 2-3 hours at almost 2 years old.

I'm just stopping breast feeding my youngest and she is 3 and 2 months. I fed her brother till 14 months.
Neither of them ever took bottles or dummies. With both of them stopping night feeds and stopping breastfeeding have been separate issues.
Stopping night feeding was a case of been strong about it once I decided I'd had enough, and they were eating enough in the day. Both times it was also prompted by wanting to go away for a night and feeling it was unfair on everyone if I hadn't stopped. I found once I was resolved it wasn't too bad. I think my mum and my husband did one night each with my son and with my daughter, I just wore a lot of layers and cuddled her instead, she was cross but it only took a few days and they both slept much better.
With my son I knew I was going to stop breastfeeding and when he was about one, I had to take the conscious decision to limit it to morning and evening and after naps only and distract when we were out and about or during the day, we had started to get into a little and often/ comfort feeding but it wasn't too bad to change it. Although with my daughter I wasn't planning to stop I also followed this pattern and so from around 1 it has mainly been morning and evening feeds not as and when.
I think with most things with children once you have a clear plan in your head it is much easier to follow through and it's hard to do things you aren't convinced by. So I'd work out exactly what your priorities/ values etc are round breast feeding and lead from that.

I breastfed dd1 till 18 months, dd2 till 3 years and dd3 till 12 months. All three i stopped when breastfeeding no longer suited our family. Stopping was a week of horrific screaming (child) and sobbing (me) but we survived.

1. i co slept and have utterly no idea when they stopped feeding at night. I have a friend who night weaned her dd at 8 months by getting her dp to do bedtime/night waking and is still breasting at 2.5 years.

2. wear turtlenecked jumpers ;-) dd3 is 2 and stopped feending a year ago and still sticks her hands down my top!

3. ideal point to stop is when you are ready. Your child may self wean or you may reach a point where it doesn't work for your family. Be prepared when you do stop for hormone swings.

I loved feeding older children as they say the cutest things. Dd1&2 were tandem fed for a bit and dd1 chose who got which boob. Dd2 use ask for her snuggle milk when she wanted a feed

Well done on the successful bfeeding OP!

Google Dr Jay Gordon for nightweaning advice. It took me a while with DS1 but it worked (didn't even try until he was 2!).

Thanks all for your advice. We stopped BF'd DD1 at around 13 months just because I was ready to stop and she took to a bottle and dummy so we had other means to comfort her. My DH did 2 weeks sleeping on the floor of DD1's room when she was about 8 months to get her in her own room but also to feed less through the night. I haven't had the energy to do this yet with DD2 yet and as much as I'm fed up of sleeping like a squashed sardine between DH and DD2 and feeding several times per night, it still seems like an easier option than doing the transfer to own room and feed reducing.
DH stepped in last time because I lost my shit and couldn't cope with the waking but this time it hasn't bothered me as much. I would like to get her sleeping through if I could though as I fear the longer I leave it the harder it may be. Sorry for the long post and thanks again for the advice

Just read the Jay Gordon advice Yoko and it has answered a lot of my questions so thank you for the tip 👍🏼

I can't advise on getting your dd through the night as I expressed milk before the first feed in the morning as this gave more than my boobs would feed in the evening. I stopped feeding dd when she was 2.5. That was my choice as she didn't want to feed at all for around 4 days in a row and the next day, she wanted to snack 7 plus times and the inconsistency of feeding combined with digging in teeth hurt too much. I could never stop dd putting her hands down my top. I lived in leggings even under a maxi dress for years as she also liked to pull my dress up and go inside.

Thanks mummyoflittledragon, I know it was probably frustrating at the time but the image of her trying to get under your dress to feed made me smile, they are little monkeys aren't they ☺️

I fed DS until he was 3.5 It's ok to start to develop a routine and set milk times. Having more of a routine helped me. Also learning to fall asleep for a nap without milk seemed to help DS sleep better at night. By age 2 he just had milk morning and at bedtime, then I dropped the morning feed and finally the bedtime feed.

I returned to work part time when DD was nearly 9months. She has always refused a bottle/dummy but would drink from a cup. At that point she preferred an open cup, although will use a Sippy cup too now. She generally had water in the day (not much but she ate well) and breastfed morning, evening and night.

At 11 months we night weaned. She was having two feeds a night and we stopped. DH went to her when she woke but I also ended up cuddling her to comfort. We offered water but that wasn't very interesting! Night 1 was lots of crying (whilst being cuddled). Night 2 and 3 were lying awake for ages with her stroking my hair, night 4 she slept through! She didn't /doesn't sleep through every night, but can be cuddled back to sleep fairly quickly. We weren't co-sleeping though, and I think were lucky!

DD (16 months) now feeds morning and evening and accepts when I tell her later and offer her a snack instead if she is hungry. She has milk in a Sippy cup if I am out/having a lie in(!), otherwise in the day mostly drinks water. She won't drink loads in the day but has 2 large feeds and eats well.

I don't know when we will stop. I would like to stop soonish, but on the other hand it seems silly to when we both (mostly!) enjoy it. Good luck figuring out what works for you.

I breastfed DS 1 for 20 months and DS 2 is still feeding at 17 months although I plan to stop soon. For both, I stopped night feeding at about 14 months and this helped them sleep better. I restricted the feeds to 4 hourly at night at this point. If they woke in between these times, they got a cuddle but no milk. I then reduced the feeding time by 1 minute every 2 nights until I was feeding for just 2 mins, then I stopped. Not feeding at night didn't miraculously cause either child to sleep through but there was a gradual process by which they learned to go back to sleep without a feed.

As for the pulling at your top and rummaging about hopefully for a feed, I have found that a mixture of firmness and distraction helps. Although I fed on demand for a long time, by the time mine were 12 months plus, I was in more of a routine, feeding morning and evening ad after every meal and again, I think they learned that this was when they would get a feed and adapted to this.

I wouldn't worry about trying to get a baby of 12 months plus to take a bottle. They can have a sippy cup and even start to drink from an open cup that you are holding. Doidy Cups are good too.

I stopped breastfeeding when the time felt right. With DS I, it was when I knew he was settled in nursery and I also wanted to try for DS 2 and as an older mum, didn't think I would get pregnant while breastfeeding. There were no massive objections from him, which suggests he was more or less ready. I did however wear quite inaccessible clothing for a while during the time when I stopped morning and evening feeds. I found it helpful to make plan which I wrote down and also to try to do it at a time when there are no major issues in the pipeline such as you returning to work, or even a holiday or period of very hot weather.

Good luck.

I'm still enjoying feeding her and not ready to stop but feel we would all be happier if we could get a regular good nights sleep. This is my priority I think so I should decide when I'm going to attempt to wean her off night feeds. I've got 2 weeks off in August so maybe then. Thanks again for all your experiences and advice.

My DD1 has a DD of her own now, but I fed her until she was 14 months, mainly because she was impossible to wean due to severe allergies. At 14 months, I had had enough and made the decision that I was going to stop and oddly enough, she didn't ask for a feed that night and never asked again. I had started her using a sippy cup at 6 months or so and she continued to use that. There was no point in putting her onto a bottle when I would have just had to wean her off the bottle as well. Plus, she couldn't have formula anyway, so was getting cow's milk.

I fed DD2 until she was 9 months. She didn't need the milk, because she ate everything going. I had to wean her because I had to have an operation. She was also fine being told no when suggesting she wanted fed. Again, I had her on a sippy cup from 6 months.

I have heard horror stories of children reaching for their mother's breasts and one vile story where the 4 year old pulled down mum's sundress and helped himself while shopping in the supermarket. My breasts are mine and I would no more have tolerated the DC pawing me than I would XH. That may well be very judgy of me, but that's how I see it.

I won't bother with either bottle or dummy now as there's no point. She takes water from a sippy cup and has done from 6 months but obviously a sippy cup isn't very comforting. I've been much more relaxed this time around which has been good in some ways but I'm in new territory now as DD1 was weaned off the breast completely by about 13 months. I think the reason I stopped back then was because I felt I had done right by her, she only fed nights and mornings and she got comfort from the bottle so instead of giving her a breast to get her to sleep I just switched it for bottle.

Definitely give the Jay Gordon night weaning a go. We did it with DD at about 16 months and it took a couple of nights of her being a bit put out that I wasn't going to whip a boob out to get her back to sleep but it did work. Maybe see if she will take to a certain teddy for comfort, it was at this age DD found a favourite bedtime cuddly.

Thanks RainbowBrite (loved Rainbow Brite as a child ☺️) yes it sounded right up my street. I was given some well meant but bad advice with DD1 (Gina Ford routine) which I blame for a good chunk of my anxiety and eventually depression, that's a whole other story though! The reason I mention it though is because now I'm very anti "routine" unless I'm happy both child and I are comfortable with it. I'm also pro co-sleeping so it's nice to find someone who doesn't make me feel bad for this!

Lol, my fave too, my mum kept the spinning top with all the characters on for me!
We did a mix of trying to get DD in her own bed and part of the night with us. She'd go in her own bed at the start of the night with boob to go to sleep then when she woke, usually around 1ish she'd come in with us but not be allowed any more boob until after 6am. So even though she wasn't allowed boob she still had comfort by being with us and gradually over time she started staying asleep in her own bed longer. It was the gentlest way I found of doing night weaning and worked for us.

I really miss that time. It seems like ages ago. Dd no longer runs round the corner and into my arms like she did until she was around 4. No reversing onto my lap either.

Sounds like a nice gradual way to do it RainbowBrite. We went whole hog with DD1 at 8 months to try and get her sleeping through before I returned back to work. DH slept in her floor for two weeks and every time she woke he settled her, it wouldn't have worked if I had done it as she would have cried for boob more. Anyway, first 3 nights were tough but after that it was just a case of her not wanting to be alone really. She still woke once- twice per night and I would go through and feed her. When she was 13-14 months we left her to cry (no longer than 15 mins) and it took 3 nights to get her sleeping straight through. It worked but it was stressful and I'm not sure DD2 would be as tolerable as DD1 was...she's VERY strong willed.

DD1 is 5 in September littledragon and that's another reason I'm breastfeeding longer and being less strict with both of us as we're not having any more and I want to make sure I squeeze every last ounce of this special time. There's a certain element for me that once I stop feeding her she's not a baby anymore.

I'm still bfing and cosleeping at 21mo. Ds bfs whenever he wants all through the day and is still fed to sleep for naps (unless we're out in the buggy) and at bedtime. 8 times out of 10 now, when he wakes in the night -he's never slept through 😣, I can settle him back to sleep without feeding. I'm going to try him in his own bed in the next few months. I want him to self wean but tbh its not looking like that's going to happen any time soon.. and he doesn't like any other milk so I've no alternative to offer him in the day.

We night weaned about 23 months and weaned fully at 30 months. Both brought about a slight improvement but he's now 35 months and sleeps through no more than once a month. So don't assume that stopping bf will magically help!