Really struggling with breastfeeding

[CaptainWarbeck]

DD is 2 weeks old tomorrow. Latch on the left side has been generally fine, right side has been rubbish right from the start.

She doesn't open her mouth wide when you tickle her lip with the nipple, we always have a shallow latch which is absolutely excruciating at the start (about as painful as contractions) and dulls to a constant pinching pain during the feed. I've got nipple grazing and cracks on the right side. I hate latching off and on again because I know how painful each latch is and it never seems to improve much.

I've been using the left side more to rest the right and because it's less painful and now I'm worried I've damaged the supply on the right and will have wonky boobs.

Have seen: midwives, lactation consultant, talked to breastfeeding counsellor on phone, have had laser therapy from physio on right nip, tried nipple shields (baby hates them) and I don't know what to do next. She doesn't have a tongue tie just apparently a small mouth and high palate. Putting on weight fine so she's getting lots of milk.

I spent last night crying in bed trying to feed her on the right side while DH slept next to me. I won't use formula but the pain is just so awful and demoralising. Both breasts are sore and achy to touch between feeds and I don't know why. No obvious blocked ducts/mastitis. Breastfed my son no problems for 2 years.

Sorry so long. Any suggestions at all would be amazing as this is just so hard at the moment.

I can't claim to be an expert but have you tried breast shells to help your nipples recover between feeds. Within 24hours i went from crying to absolutely fine!

I don't know what breast shells are vooby but will Google...

Okay, will send DH out for some and maybe medela nipple shields. I have avent ones, medela maybe better?

I had the same problem with DD, but reverse in that she would not take the left properly and it was excruciating - really feel for you OP. Yes try Medela shields, I can't say whether they're any better than Avent as I didn't try those, but Medela worked for me. Also plenty of Lanolin cream after feeds. And make sure you are hand expressing any lumps you feel in case of mastitis - a warm shower will help with that too. If the shields don't work, can you pump from the right side? That way you can keep your supply up in that side and you could give the bottled milk before your left breast during a feed.

You may have already tried this but can you latch her on your right side back to front as it were? Rather than her lie across your body have her tucked under your right arm. She may simply prefer the feeling of being latched that way. If not have you tried latching her on whilst you lie down on your side and she lies facing towards you (although from memory that was much easier once they were a bit bigger and more established with feeding). If you persevere it does get better. In a couple of weeks your nipples toughen up and it becomes much easier - and I'm speaking as someone who had very bad cracked and bleeding nipples and I can remember crying when I knew a feed was coming up as it was soooo painful.

It sounds like you're having a rough time of it captain - so sorry.

Most nipple shields are much of a muchness, so a different brand is unlikely to help.

There are a few things you could try though.
Some babies can be tricked into thinking they are on their preferred side by sliding them round your body so they are in the same position as they are for the good side, but facing the other breast.

Have a YouTube for 'exaggerated latch', who helps get tricky babies a deeper latch.

You won't have permanently messed up your supply, it's early days. Even if you had, it's perfectly possible to have a full milk supply from one breast - twin mum's do it all the time, as do. plenty of others, for various reasons.

Please, please don't persevere through a feed on a poor latch. It will cause damage to your nipple, which will make it even sorer next time.
The evidence is that moist wound healing is best for nipple cracks, so soap and water twice a day, and slather in Vaseline/lanolin/whatever the rest of the time.

I would try to get more face to face support too, the NCT, la Leche league run groups in many areas, you could also the LCGB (lactation consultants of Great Britain) website - they are the gold standard of breastfeeding support.

Hang in there, it's tough going

Thanks all. Okay so stick to the nipple shields we've got. DD just won't latch properly with them and gets frustrated, comes off and cries. Plus I don't think she gets the same milk letdown as the right with them, I don't see those deep sucks and shallows. Don't know what I'm doing wrong with them.

Red I've just tried a rugby hold with her on the right side. She latched and stayed on although it was still uncomfortable. It's hard to tell how much pain is the poor latch and how much the damaged nipple.

She won't latch properly at all lying down. Tried that with left and started damaging that one too so stopped pronto. Which is a pain because I wanted to cosleep and feed.

Rock I'll look up exaggerated latch, thanks. Anything to improve it at this stage would be amazing. I try and flip her lips out when she's on but it only does so much.

Thanks all, so very much appreciated.

I think the frustrating thing is that she can do a decent latch on the left as she gets lots of milk and it's not painful. She kind of chews it a bit to adjust as she latches on and then is fine. I'm fine with this.

I just don't know why she won't do it on the right. Everyone who's observed a feed says that generally I'm doing the right positioning etc and she looks okay when she's on.

I've had two non-painful feeds from that side since she was born, both achieved by someone just stuffing my nipple into her mouth somehow at the right time. I just don't know what they're doing and can't replicate it myself.

Could you pump on the more painful side for now and just feed from the other? To give the nipple a break and chance to heal. I suspect it's too early to be thinking this way but I've also heard of people successfully BF long term from just one side.

I am sorry ur having such a tough time OP. I have been through similar with my 4.5 weeks old, who just couldn't get a pain free latch. Both sides pinched but the left was worse and I developed a crack which became excrutiating. Only very late in the day did we discover I had thrush in that boob. Have u been to see ur GP, perhaps they can check and treat if necessary? Although, maybe get second opinion too as one GP didn't think any thrush but gave me cream to cover all bases. But then a week later a midwife told me definitely thrush and to get prescription for a pill rather than cream. It didn't look like thrush to the naked eye but the symptoms and pain I was describing made the midwife quite certain it was.

Ur doing a grand job, well done for persevering through this it really is tough and I feel your pain. I totally sympathise and have spent many days/nights crying while trying to feed through the pain. Unfortunately I have given up now, and have been very sad about that decision. But after struggling and persevering through difficult breastfeeding my first child I promised not to put myself under so much pressure next time. It really clouded our first few weeks/months and I don't have good memories of his early days. I really didn't want that this time around, and wanted to enjoy my baby. I'll never really be at ease with formula feeding but things are settling now and we are much more relaxed and enjoying things more. I'm trying to express to give baby one bottle of breastmilk a day at least.

Don't be hard on yourself if you feel you need to try formula. I know how hard that decision is, but please don't put too much pressure on yourself or make yourself unessecarily miserable.

Good luck x

OP I was similar to you in that baby latched fine on one side and on the other side It looked like a good latch but was painful. The only thing that seemed to work for me was really focussing on 'baby to boob' not ' boob to baby' if you see what I mean? So I would put my nipple kind of on her nose until she opened her mouth, then bring her head quickly onto my nipple. If she didn't open her mouth enough I just kept trying. It was so frustrating and painful, but she is now 4.5 months and it feels really easy, so don't give up if you don't want to, but equally don't beat yourself up!

I found that different nipple shields did work differently and she definitely had a preference. I ended up sending DH out for lots of different types until I got it right.

I had the pain you are describing for a long time (but also wouldn't use formula) and I eventually found out she had a lip tie. We had been checked for everything else over and over but no one checked for that.

Thanks for the kind words lucinda

On top of sore nipple I've got a red sore patch on that breast and been shivery, weepy, hot and headachey so am seeing the after hours gp for potential mastitis. I'll ask him about thrush too, I'd wondered about that from reading Dr Google.

Vooby I'll try that. Any moving her about gets her really frustrated and fussy, we seem to do best with baby led attaching in the koala hold (basically lying on me). But worth a shot.

I don't know about pumping - if I introduce a bottle now I'm worried that'll confuse her latch more and also mucking up supply. I don't know. This was so easy first time round. Very reluctant to use formula but totally understand why people do resort to it.

Polka did you have pain both sides? A few people have said she's got a bit of a lip tie but then they've said if right side is fine it's probably not that causing the left side issues.

And do you mind sharing which nipple shields you found best in the end? Thanks.

I had the same problems, my son is 7 weeks and I still have pain on the left and not right. I found coaxing his chin down to get a wider mouth easier and less painful. I use medela shields too when it's really painful. He had tongue tie too that was missed and since having that done I've found he does longer feeds less often which is much nicer for my boobs! Health visitor also diagnosed thrush but I only had pain on one side, still being treated for that so I can't comment if that's helping! Hope things improve for you soon. Are there any breastfeeding drop in sessions at your children's centre? That's what I've found most helpful.

Oh poor you, it does sound like mastitis or blocked ducts.

The achy pain after and agony during feed sounds like thrush. Does your baby have white on her tongue/inside mouth? Nipples shiny at all? Please do ask gp as worth looking into.

To heal the nipple, I've heard mam compression pads are good (from boots). I also second a pp: nipple shells between feeds are great.

Have you checked the la leche book, the womanly art of breastfeeding? Always worth a shot.

Sending lots and lots of sympathy, I've been there too and it's so hard

Do you have a local la Leche League? You can call them and get a visit by a leader who will help you as it's much easier to advise in person.

I wouldn't advise nipple shields as that can lead to more problems.

Have you looked at the flipple technique on YouTube?

Asked GP about thrush, he was very dismissive and said nipple thrush was very rare so unlikely. He prescribed antibiotics for mastitis though, thank goodness as red patch is getting bigger and more sore.

There are breastfeeding drop in sessions near me but it's school holidays where I am (Oz) and they don't restart until a week's time.

Unicorn I have looked up the flipple technique, can't get to grips with it though! I try and flip her lips out once she's latched on and she gets cross and fidgets and tries to come off the breast.

captain get second opinion on thrush if th pain continues! I'm quite disappointed mine was undiagnosed for over a week.... it could have really changed things for me I think. I also had mastitis, glad ur on the antis. That shd make u feel better soon. The flipple technique really helped us! Recommend. Good luck! Xx

Definitely consider thrush.

I gave it ATM fuck me it hurts

Are you using lansinoh cream?

If not - do that. You can't put too much of the stuff on in my experience. Before feeds, after feeds, in any gap between feeds...

If you have antibiotics for your mastitis then definitely ask (even just try a pharmacy) about thrush treatment as antibiotics can increase the likelihood of thrush anyway.
I found the breastfeeding network leaflets very useful and you can download and print off.
Your gp is talking bollocks- thrush is very common in breastfeeding!
You're doing so well, I really hope you have some relief soon and baby gets the hang of the other side latch soon.

Having just skimmed the bfn stuff though they do seem reluctant to treat very young babies for thrush and urge positioning to be checked etc.

www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/wp-content/dibm/thrush-oct14.pdf

It sounds exactly the same as what was happening to me. A lot of people told me there was no tongue tie but an NCT lactation consultant finally said there was. When I went to get it snipped they said it was a strong 60% tie and didn't know how I'd carried on so long.

High palates often go hand in hand with a tongue tie. Does she tilt her head back to latch? My DS didn't and they said it was a key sign of a tie.

I had nipple thrush too, though much later on whem DS was coming up to a year - excruciating and GP also very dismissive. I found taking pro-biotic tablets (Acidophilus, they were called) from Holland and Barrett helped clear it up over a few weeks, could be worth a try?