Latching getting worse

[Teabagtits]

I've watched so many videos and read everything I can find about improving baby's latch but it's getting worse. He's 2.5weeks and he just won't open his mouth wide and reverts to a shallow nipple clamp while feeding which causes a lot of pain.

We've already got thrush and I'm on antibiotics for mastitis. He's been referred to the tongue tie clinic but I'm told it's not bad enough to warrant fixing... but my nipples are agony. Thankfully they're not cracked and bleeding but they hurt for over an hour after finishing feeding.

If anyone has any advice I'd be greatful. There are no lactation consultants nearby and as I'm unable to drive (after cs) I can't get to the nearest bf support group (there are no buses where it is)

I'm so close to giving up but am terrified of the process of quitting (in case of engorgement or more mastitis) - feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't :(

Call your health visitor team. My HV sent out a lady for breastfeeding support. Also, sometimes the Nct have breastfeeding support workers that might be able to make a house call. I'm pretty sure they have a breastfeeding helpline too.

I wasn't able to bf in the end as my baby just too poorly but hopefully someone can come to your house to help you.

You could also pay for a private TT release

Have you actually been seen at the tongue tie clinic, or are you still waiting for appt and someone else has said it's not bad enough? If it's the latter, ignore them until your appt; if it's former, ask for a second opinion. My DD was tongue tied and, like you, I was in agony. My nipples were both so badly cracked that when I showed the HV to ask if they'd ever heal she said "well there's always corrective surgery…" 😳 Once my DD had the procedure, she fed brilliantly. But please don't feel bad if you do decide to give up BF - your DS needs his mum to be happy and calm and not screaming in pain every time he feeds.

Oh OP I'm so sorry for u. I could have written that myself!! Exactly the same has been happening to me over the last 4 weeks (DD 4 weeks old). It's been a heartbreaking time and I have cried so many tears and wailed in pain so much!! I breastfed DS (5yo) for 10 months, worked thru latching issues with him and thought naively that I could work thru any breastfeeding issue after that. But sadly I was wrong and it's been a hellish time. I would say if u can, try to pay a private lactation consultant trained in tongue tie to come and assess u. I did this, and was told DD did not have tongue tie which was a huge blow as it meant there was nothing preventing a good latch. But I was convinced there was something blocking our progress and was on the verge of getting a second opinion. However, the pain of the cracked nipples, thrush and mastitis became too unbearable and the miserly around it all was beginning to really impact us and our boy. So I have sadly given up breastfeeding. It has been an incredibly difficult decision and I have a very heavy heart about it so I really sympathise and understand where u are coming from. but I do feel I tried everything I could and I had to make the right decision for us as a family. I am still waiting for my milk to dry up, but only really the first 24 hrs were very painful. Now I am just uncomfy.

Anyway. Do try and see someone privately if u can, to put ur mind at rest. And don't beat urself up, breastfeeding is such incredibly hard work when u have a good latch and seemingly smoothbride, let alone when you have to work through these problems too. It really is an incredibly emotional time as well.

One thing that helped me come to terms with my decision to give up, I spent the first 4 months of my DS's life in tears and struggled thru breastfeeding him with the difficulties we had. Looking back, I didn't really enjoy his early days. And i promised not to put myself under so much pressure again.

So this time, my DD has had one month of my very best. And now I'm going to accept I've done all I can and start to enjoy her a bit more and hopefully cry a little less and not be in so much pain. I am heartbroken of course. But formula is a wonderful alternative and children thrive on it.

Be kind to urself and don't be scared if you have to give up. Thinking of u x

Go to as many breastfeeding clinics / cafes as you can manage. More advice and support you get now the better

What you need is for someone trained to observe a feed or two and then you will get tailored advice. Good luck!

Just in case it helps, my DD has a very short upper lip which was tightening and turning under instead of flaring when she was especially hungry and really gaping. I found I could vastly improve the latch by quickly flipping her lip outwards after she'd attached but before the suction really started. Unlatching and relatching just made her furious!
Best of luck to you x

Thanks all. Out of the blue I was called with a gold dust last minute appointment for the tongue tie clinic for TOMORROW!
I was all set to give up but this has given me hope. If the tongue tie isn't a problem they'll send me to their specialist bf clinic the following week.

Just need to last a wee while longer and hopefully things will improve. In my heart I don't want to give up.

Had tongue tie snipped and it immediately felt different and I naively thought all our problems had been solved but through the night he returned to his painful shallow latch and no matter how many times I remove him and start again he keeps reverting to the shallow latch. It causes muscle spasms behind my breast for hours after feeding. (I don't have reynauds or vasospasm symptoms)

I've watched countless videos on latch and technique and I'm told I'm doing everything right by hv and LC at hospital.

He throws his head around when trying to get him latched but never tips his head back to get the breast in. If I support his neck and shoulders his head just flops but everyone says dont support the head.

I'm so confused

It might be the thrush that's causing the problem. I had it for 8 weeks with my son before I finally found some info online to take to my doctor. He'd never heard of it before. Boobs and nipples hurt like mad between feeds (felt like they were full of red-hot crushed glass and being squeezed). Nipples were a state. I blamed latch, but once the thrush cleared, feeding became a breeze. Are you and your baby both being treated?

Hi Tea, I had to have my DDs done twice and when she had it done the second time, f took about 3 weeks for her latch to start getting better. They have to relearn how to feed using their whole tongue. Have you been given exercises to do with your little one eg getting baby to poke tongue out, wound agitation etc?
By all means ask an infant feeding specialist about thrush etc but I also had shooting pains that I think we're caused by the damage that had already been done by the poor latch over several weeks. Once DD began to feed more efficiently this got better. It took a a good many weeks/months for feeding to become problem free.
Keep accessing any feeding support (ideally in person) that you can until things feel better.

Sorry to hear you have such problems

My LO didn't really tip his head back either (he also didn't turn his head when I brushed his cheek ). I had to be very "firm" when getting him to latch and the HV assistance said to thrust / force them on. Seemed weird, but when they're thrashing there's nothing else to be done. In all honesty their demonstrations seemed much more violent than I could ever persuade myself to be!

Whilst they say "don't support the head" I think they mean holding the head directly. I know I held the weight of my LO's head via my thumbs / fingers on his neck. As you say, it flops otherwise as they can't support it themselves.

Are you using nipple cream by the bucket load? I recommend Lanosin (don't think that's how you spell it).

Also, have you tried lying down / reclined feeding? You only need to stop head "wobble" then.

If you do decide to stop bf, one thing to consider is expressing. My LO now gets 90% of his milk via bottle, but it's all expressed.

At the end of the day, bf or ff, the most important thing is a happy mummy. It can be hard enough to bond with a screaming irrational creature, let alone one that causes you pain (even if it is inadvertent).