BF babies and sleeping through...

[Yorkiegirl]

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What time are you putting her to bed, Yorkiegirl? And roughly how often are you feeding her during the day?

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Yorkiegirl I'm in almost exactly the same position except that dd is over 5 months old and on solids as well. My dd goes down at 7ish then wakes around 12 then 4. She doesn't always have a feed but does a lot of the time- its more for my sake as she'll go straight back to sleep. I eventually tried a dummy, which has been a real help as she'l often take that and go back to sleep. We're working on getting her back to sleep without lifting her out of the cot but no luck so far .

Do you think she needs the feed? i always try getting her back without a feed first then if she won't go I feed her. If you're sure she's getting enough food during the day you could try not feeding her but I was never sure enough not to (1st timer!)How often do you feed during the day?

Be proud of bf- you've done well! I faced the same criticism from well meaning family and friends (...you know I think she's hungry. Are you sure she's getting enough...why don't you just try a bottle of formula...-even from hv!). I f you're sure you don't want to give her a bottle stick to your guns and don't! Give it a go if you think it might work but from what I've heard it probably won't.

Sorry if this hasn't helped much. I'm sympathising more than advising! I keep thinking that it won't last forever and even though I'm exhausted at least I get extra cuddles- I did got over anxious etc about it but there was no point so I go to bed accepting and expecting to be woken a few times and if it doesn't happen it is a bonus

At 13 weeks feed her. Definately. IMO if you introduce a bottle it will affect your milk supply, and in the middle of the night what could be more simple than whopping out a boob? - simple. DD (fed until 16 months) slept through at 6 weeks but DS (only just stopped feeding now at 14 months) didn't sleep through until just before 11 months. I've decided that they do it when they're ready....go with the flow!!

She's sleeping really well, isn't she? 7.30 till 2am is pretty much 7 hours on the trot, so actually she is sleeping through, but her night doesn't quite coincide with yours!

If she's been asleep since 7 pmish she's probably ravenous by 2am -- I'd be surprised if you could get her to go back to sleep without a feed then. I don't think a bottle instead of a bfeed at bedtime would make a difference to that.

I'm a big fan of the 10.30 pm feed, myself. My routine with dd2 went pretty much like yours, with bed by 7pm after a feed. I then woke her at 10.30pm, gave her one boob, changed nappy and woke her up a bit more, gave her other boob and put her back to bed. I initially tried to keep her pretty much asleep for the 10.30 feed ("dreamfeed" some people seem to call it) but ultimately found it more effective to wake her up properly to make sure she was taking as much milk as possible.

I suspect if you could try to instigate a late evening feed, the 2pm one might disappear, and the 5am one would gradually move back towards a more civilised waking time.

Hope this doesn't sound too bossy I read the GF book on sleep, and although I think she's generally a bit barmy, the basic structure worked pretty well for us. I don't think adding in formula or solids for that matter would necessarily help for every one person who says it did help, you'll find other people saying it made everything go pear-shaped.

Hi Yorkiegirl - my dd started sleeping through at 15 wks on boobie alone and has continued to do so (apart from last weekend with cold). She is now 5.5 months and still only bf. From what I see with other babies and mine it is luck, some babies sleep some don't. I am not saying this to be all boasty & smug just to let you know that it is possible for bf babies to sleep through and to have confidence in the boobie!

Um....I don't geddit.

On the 'feed her at 2 am' side of the argument, we have:

You are happy.

Your baby is happy.

She is thriving.

She is waking up once, and giving you the chance to have a 'grown up' evening of reasonable length....and this pattern is more reasonable than many babies of this age (most babies, breast or bottle fed, are still waking up in the night and needing attention of some sort, at this stage).

She is getting the best food possible.

There is no (repeat no) guarentee that a bottle of formula will make one jot of difference.

You cannot 'make' a 13-week-old sleep through - I mean, you could ignore her screams, and she would get the message....but maybe you prefer not to do that.

She may well drop the 2 am feed spontaneously.

On the 'she should be sleeping through' side of the argument we have:

Some of the people you know or have met in passing would think it was a good idea.

I don't think the scales equalise out very well, do you???

Honestly, what business is it of theirs whether your baby wakes up once, twice or 10 times???

Tell them to take a hike.

Yorkiegirl - you're both doing really well and as for those who say to give her formula .... pah! DS2 is 7 months and not sleeping through - DS1 slept through from 6 mths, DS2 shows no sign of it. He goes down at 7/7.30pm and on a good night will go until 3/4am, then 6/7am on a bad night will wake at midnight, 4am and 6 or 6.30am. So I still don't know whether I'm coming or going!

With DS1 I did what Frogs does and woke him at 10.30pm - this doesn't work for DS2 but maybe in time it will.

Yorkiegirl, my dd is 14 weeks old and sounds like she has a similar pattern. I'm also bf and put dd down sometime between 7 and 7.30 whenever she finishes her last feed.
She then sleeps until between 2-3.30pm although we did have a 3.45 last night. She then feeds for about 5mins and is asleep then until about 6am.
We also tried the dream sleep but I don't think she fed effectively as it didn't alter the wake up in the middle of the night.
Just stick with it, they are sleeping through which as poppyseed said it is just that their 7 hours start at a different time to ours.

Just to add my ds is 14 weeks and is bottle fed (long painful story) and although a few nights he's gone 7pm to 5 or 6am mostly he still wakes for a feed anytime from 3am onwards so formula isn't a miracle cure unfortunately!!

Yorkiegirl, if she's having a good old munch at 2am then 5am, then she's obviously hungry and you should feed her. My little bf one slept thru at a very early age but he did it all on his own with no prompting from me. I'm sorry but I have no understanding or patience with husbands who bug their wives about bfing. I'd tell him to grow up and pick on someone his own size instead of his baby daughter - after all she will ultimately be the one losing out. I'd love to know what's in these bottles of formula that magically make babies sleep thru the night???? - maybe you could ask those people in passing next time you see them. Stick to your guns and start listening to your baby daughter and your own mummy instincts. Hugs and good luck.

... whoops, sorry if that sounded a bit harsh. You're doing GREAT and from the sounds of your post, you actually know what's what .

Erm - in theory - very much in theory, very youung breastfed babies need feeding every 3 hours, and bottlefed babies every 4 hours. This is due to formula being harder to digest than breastmilk. So quite why people thing your lo will sleep through on formula is a little mysterious, as formula is only going to make a slight bit of difference.

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A bottle at 2 AM????? well she will sleep until 3 AM... a bottle won't make her sleep through the night... may make her go an extra hour !

Yorkiegirl ...
Sorry you are under so much pressure!
I started to try other ways to get DD to sleep apart from feeding her when she wasn't hungry in the morning at 7.30am.
She would wake up at 4am ... feed and then not be hungry in the morning. That was my sign to avoid feeding her IYKWIM?
We also woke her at 10.30 pm until only a couple of weeks ago (she is 5 months now).
I think at 13 weeks it is unusual for any baby to sleep through ... DD did sleep very well at that age but she didn't sleep through every night at all.
To be honest she really stopped waking hungry altogether since she has been established on solids (about 4 weeks now).
If your dh has a problem with being woken up can you not take the baby and sleep somewhere else?
I never had to do that as DH sleeps through anything ... even a baby screaming in his earhole but it might help you ...

And there are plenty of bottle fed babioes who didn't sleep through for a long time.... should we ask those bottle feeders ?????

Yorkiegirl, my dd2 "slept through" from very early in the sense that she slept from11.30 till 6, but that's exactly the same no. of hours as your dd is doing.

In my case her hours of sleep happened to coincide with mine which suited me brilliantly, 'cos I don't really do nights, IYSWIM.

If you wanted to rejig her schedule to fit in with your sleep times, you probably could. But if you're ok with things as they are, you may as well just go with it. By the time you'd readjusted her sleep patterns you'd probably be at the stage where she'd drop nightfeeding altogether and sleep for the full 10-12 hours anyway. I've just dropped the 10.30pm feed with my 6 month old dd2, and was sure she'd wake in the night as she isn't really taking much in the way of solids yet -- but amazingly there wasn't a peep out of her till 6am.

You're doing brilliantly -- in answer to your Q, I have no idea why people are so undermining. Maybe they find it all a bit threatening? There's a lot of this nonsense about, though. Coming your way over the next couple of months: "Oh, isn't she on solids yet?", closely followed by: "You're not still breastfeeding, are you?" My current fave response to this last one is: "Yes, but we're planning to stop before she starts school."

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pupuce - same sort of point as mine but put far more succinctly, and without the typos . My ds was bottlefed after 2 weeks bf (lots of problems with jaundice, ds readmitted to hospital at 2 weeks, threw in the towel at that point) and then slept through very early - as in 12 till 7 type of thing. I agree with frogs - pure luck that the lengthy sleep period coincided with mine! Yorkiegirl - with the weaning thing - they're changing the guidance to six months - so try and parrot that to anyone who asks about solids.... my stepdads mum was asking me about weaning ds - but then again she chopped off the top of the teats on her daughters bottles at about 3 weeks old coz she reckoned her daughter was too greedy for wanting feeding "every few hours" !!

Not sure if this will help but my DD slept 10PM to 7 AM at 6 weeks and DS the same at 9 weeks.... both long term breastfeeders. So not just bottle feeders sleep through early !

Good for you Yorkiegirl - following your instincts on what is best for your dd2. Get dh some ear plugs so he wont wake up in the night. I slept next to my dds and woke to feed them before they started to cry. Also they fed more often in the night and seemed to sleep better as they didn't have to fully wake up. I also benefited from not having to get up. Many people are not supportive of bfing - but what's important is how you & dd2 feel. It's great your dh supports you - perhaps once his sleep probs are sorted he'll be more relaxed about dd2 needing less sleep than your other dd. All the best

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LOL, YG!

Bless your poor old dh