Expressing milk to share night feeds

[sunnyfields25]

Hi

My DH goes back to work on Monday and we're trying to get a plan together for tackling the night-time feeds. We've had a good system of sharing it while he's been on paternity leave but once he's back at work I want to make sure he's getting more sleep so that he's safe to drive in the morning. What we're thinking is that I could express some milk so that I can go to bed earlyish and leave DH to do the late night feed and nappy change before putting the baby to bed. DH would then sleep for the rest of the night and I would get up and do the rest of the feeds and nappy changes. I wondered if anyone has experience of a similar system? My main reservation is that my baby is only two and a half weeks old and I'm not sure if giving him a bottle once a night at this stage will cause problems for breastfeeding. We have had some issues with breastfeeding relating to tongue tie and reflux, but touch wood I've found a position that seems to work at the moment and I can get him to latch on and feed (with some persistence).

My other query is if we went ahead with this plan would I be best getting up when DH does the late night feed to express my milk at the same time? I'm scared of my body thinking I no longer need milk at that time and drying up which would be a problem if I then need to feed my baby at that time in the future.

Thanks

Have you got breastfeeding fairly well established - think recommendation is to not introduce a bottle before 4 weeks, assuming feeding is well established. Given you're having issues with tongue tie (has that been snipped?), it might be wise to leave it a little longer to really get latch sorted. Unless you are having real issues with soreness which might be relieved by a bottle

If you are going to do it, it might be better to try a less stressful time to check your little one will take a bottle at all e.g. in the morning, and be prepared to leave the room yourself so that there isn't smell confusion. Better than everyone becoming distressed late at night if it doesn't work out.

One fewer feed won't mess up supply once it is established, especially if you are doing the other night feeds, as the feeding or pumping at night is especially important for regulating supply and while it is important for your DH to get sleep to work, you need to rest too, in order to be able to do the rest of the night shift and then the day shift i.e. if you can, have a sleep while DH does that first part of the night.

Also, is there a spare room that DH can go to if little one is distressed/ loud/ fussing so he can sleep? As if not, it won't matter whether he feeds or you do!

And I think, DH and I will probably go for him doing the first morning feed rather than late night one if we go down that path as I'm not a morning person particularly and it would give me a chance to at least get dressed and get one cup of coffee down me while still warm!

How, you won't hear this often but I successfully mix fed with DC1 (DC2 was a bottle refuser but that's a whole different story). I'm found it easier to express while she was on the other boob, so I'd full a stash at the same time I was feeding. Good luck

My baby has been taking bottles of breast milk since she was born as she had to in the hospital because she wouldn't latch. So far no confusion, which is good news so my DH often gives her either last feed before midnight or her 6am feed to let me get a sleep.
In terms of supply I find if I miss a feed my boobs do get quite full so I express after to make sure we then have milk for the next bottle.

Great to hear some of you have combined breast and bottle feeding from such early ages. Can I ask what make of bottles you use?

At that age I used to feed the baby at about 8 or 9 then I would go to bed and baby would stay downstairs with DH then he'd bring him up when he needed fed again about 10/11 then we'd all go to sleep and I'd do the night feeds. It meant I had already banked a couple of hours of sleep. You loose your evening together but it's only for a short while. I couldn't skip feeds at that stage as my boobs were too painful so would have to be up expressing anyway.

I use Medela bottles with the calma teats. They're supposed to mimic breast feeding (but they all say that)!

Thanks all for your replies. We ended up abandoning the expressing idea because that very night the evening feed went really badly - struggled to get DS to latch on and then he kept slipping off through the feed (think it's a mixture of reflux and my milk being too fast). So, after that disastrous feed I concluded it maybe wasn't the best time to be confusing him with a bottle!

Instead we've been trying to do what you do Cakes, but it's not been panning out because DS won't settle after the 8/9pm feed, so I linger downstairs to help DH and then get hardly any time in bed before I'm up again to do the 10/11pm one! Then because of the reflux, DS is squirming and grunting all night as if he's in pain, which means I don't sleep at all in between feeds.

I'm sure there must be a better way of handling all of this, but I'm in too much of a sleepy fog to figure it out. Seeing the health visitor in a few days so I'm hoping she might have some magical suggestions (or can at least advise on how to deal with the constant reflux symptoms that stop both me and DS from sleeping).

Could your DH take him out in the car or buggy to settle after a feed? We had a refluxer too and he slept well in a Close Caboo sling so DH would sit and wear him for a couple of hours while I went to bed. Two of you trying to settle him won't help anyone :) One of you needs to try and rest and let the other one get on with it. I know it's tricky but it's the only way to get through it.

And get some earplugs. Babies are squirmy grunty noisy sleepers in my experience. I had one with reflux and one without and both were restless noisy sleepers. (The refluxer cried for several hours a day and vomited massively all day and night). Earplugs will cut out some of the fidgeting but you will still heat if they are genuinely awake.

Also, your baby is so very very young. It will improve drastically over the next few weeks so hang in there. It really is pure survival only at this stage.

Thanks for your words of reassurance Cakes Good suggestions about the car and buggy. Annoyingly we have got a Moby sling but we haven't yet mastered the art of tying it. I briefly managed it earlier and DS slept soundly once in it, so that could help massively if DH can learn how to tie it too.

I know, it struck me as stupid that we were both up trying to settle DS. I'm not very good at just walking away and leaving DH to it when DS is screaming away, but I really must have more faith in him.

It's funny you should mention earplugs because I haven't been able to sleep without them for about 15 years. I've just made myself stop wearing them since giving birth because I'm terrified of not hearing DS if anything bad happens in the night. But it means I'm also kept awake by DH breathing, birds chirping etc!

Perhaps see if you can go to a sling library then OP and find one that's easier for now, and I think they're usually really cheap for hire

The Close Caboo is soft and comfy like a wrap but is pre tied essentially so super easy to use. Great resale value too.

And get your ear plugs back in!