2 year old refusing almost everything!

[2littlemoos]

What do I actually do?!

I've tried everything and nothing works anymore. The food has been a train, a plane.. characters from nursery songs to which I sing.. I've used her toys to try and feed her. I've bribed. I've threatened. Nothing is working and it has become ridiculous!

She doesn't even want some of the things she used to enjoy. Breakfast is the only easy meal.

When will this phase end. I am clueless as to what to do next. Thank you

I went through this with my children.

From my purely personal observations two year olds are like pythons or tigers. They eat one large meal every two to three days and any food presented in between gets thrown on the floor or played around with.

I would concentrate on making the food as nutritious as possible and don't let her get things like cake, biscuits, ice cream etc. In that way you know that when she does eat she is only getting healthy stuff not just sugar and junk.

They can only fit about two tablespoons of food in at a time so frequent healthy snacks during the day with small meals at meal times could help.

Two tablespoons, is that really the norm? mine can put more than that away while waiting for dinner.

Ive generally gone for the approach that - this is the meal eat it or leave it but there is nothing else.

OP, Is your two yr old underweight or not growing so you need to get a specific amount of food into her?

Yea I have been avoiding giving her sugary treats. She likes those fruity oat bars but I don't want to give her one when she's refused a good meal! But at the same time I am avoiding snacks for a few days to try and work up an appetite.

That's a good point about portions. After breakfast, I'll try and offer small bits of food throughout the day and see how that goes. Thank you mysterious

isthis I'm not sure whether to give her food before bed. I don't want to send the wrong message but at the same time I don't want her going hungry... she still has whole milk every evening though but not sure that's enough to see her through the night. "Eat it or leave it - nothing else" have you done this with a 2 year old and they haven't woken in the night hungry?

She has always been small, but tall. She's a string bean but I was at the same age!

It's hard to do, but try to be completely neutral about it - no bargaining, no games, no threats - just put the food in front of her with a smile and take it away when the meal's over. She will eventually eat when she's hungry, but that may not be at every meal time.

I did it from around their second birthday with both, we do occasionally have pudding but that's no related to eating or not eating dinner.

No waking no, and they just have about 50-100ml of skimmed milk before bed.

Mine was a bit like that too. Getting him involved in the making of the food - rinsing the vegetables under the tap or whatever helped. As did allowing him help plate up the food, not just be presented with it out of nowhere. At this age, I think it takes them a bit of time to get used to things, so if she has seen the bread and sandwich filling out ready to be used, and then you ask her to carry the bread over to you and she watches you make the sandwich, and helps put it on the plate, etc. All helps break down the instinctive "noooooooooooooooooo" when the plate is presented to them.

I also try to remain neutral around eating but at least encourage them to hold something in their hands even if they don't eat it; holding it is a good step.

If I really needed mine to eat, there are also the twin nuclear weapons of distracting TV time plus lots of ketchup. Worked well for me and we eventually weaned off both but I know some people frown deeply on it.

Sit her there with her food in front of her and she isn't allowed to get down from the table unless she eats it. Eventually she'll get the hint that food = freedom

Please don't do the whole clear the plate and 'you sit at the table until it's all gone' thing.

My mother did that to my sister and I. My sister once sat at the table all day. She still talks about that nearly 60 years later. I quickly worked out that I wasn't going to win in a battle of wills so I always cleared my plate. This caused me to become a tubby little girl as I had no control over what food was served or my portion size. I missed out on learning what my 'full' feeling was and when I should stop eating - also not great if you want to avoid over eating as an adult.

Meals are not only about nutrition, they are also about enjoying food and socializing. Continuous food wars where you are forcing your already full child to eat food they do not need or want is just setting you all up for a really miserable time three meals a day for the next 18 months or so.

I do not believe there has ever been a toddler who voluntarily starved themselves.

"Sycamore" she watched me prepare a spanish omelette last night, passed me the egg one by one, added the cheese, saw me cook it. Rinsed the cucumber. And didn't want any of it. But I will continue as you are right, it is good to see a meal deconstructed for them so they aren't faced with something where they have no idea what is in it!

nelly mysterious I have said no getting down until you've had some dinner. I read once it's your choice what you feed your child (not always successful though ay!) but their choice how much. I always had to finish my dinner as well and it was horrid. I remember the sense of feeling stuffed even now! And I remember chewing for ages on a tough bit of beef once. Think my dad finally caved in on that one though!

Thanks for all the tips though. It's helping me try to take the current phase with a pinch of salt.

Mine went through a similar phase and the only thing she would happily eat is a yumbox (bento box) thing filled with different individual things like breadsticks, sausages, carrot sticks, fruit, humous etc. Probably because she chooses the order to eat it in, and I ask her what should go in it. She doesn't usually eat the whole thing but at least tries everything in there.
Friends have also done something similar using a muffin tin & cupcake papers filled with different things, maybe that might work?
I feel your pain though, we're only just coming out of the plain pasta no sauce phase! I find involving her with the cooking as far as possible is the only way of getting her to try new things - or she picking out a recipe from a picture in a book- I give her an option of two and she picks which one and 'helps' me make it

Oh and if you watch Sesame Street, there's an episode called Superfoods I think where Elmo reluctantly tries new foods and it has a catchy song that had some persuasive effect on my toddler. We still sing it at the table at times "try it, TRY IT, you might really like it and if you don't, try, try again..." :)

Good point soupe I bought a load of cupcake cases, paper cups, bags etc. to serve food in and haven't used them yet!

Thanks sycamore I'll look that up before dinner. Fingers crossed!

Morning Op. I had something similar with my daughter when she was the same age and what got her through was no snacks, we stopped puddings, we put her meal down (same as ours and on a plate, no messing with ways of presenting) with a smile and took it away again twenty minutes later with no fuss. Nothing else offered, glass of milk before brushing teeth at bedtime and she didn't wake up hungry.

We ate at the same time as her so she saw us enjoying it and we got her cooking, food shopping and meal planning with us. It was luckily short lived and she eats vey nearly everything now at age four - last night she picked octopus to eat as were on hols at the moment - I'm so proud she'll try anything! So your DC will come through it even if it doesn't seem like it.