Advice please! Undereating 3mo is stressing me out

[Catnapper]

Hi there. Apologies as new to this site and first attempt so bear with me. Just been worrying because my DD is just not eating anywhere near the 'average' - sometimes it's only about 2/3 of recommended daily amount, a couple of times only just over half. She was BF for first 5 weeks and is now on the bottle & has never eaten what is says in all the books etc. She is above 50th percentile, so far gaining at each weigh in but recently has dropped back from an all time high of 6-7 oz per feed and now it's a struggle to get 5.5oz, sometimes only 4 and it takes several sittings. She sleeps & naps well, is alert, happy and chirpy apart from the occasional bouts of wind and fills her nappy every other day. My worries stem from HV saying that 5oz 'just isn't enough' & this still rings in my ears at every feed. DH & mum, sister etc keep saying she's happy, she'll eat when hungry etc. Have been reading various threads which have made me feel better, but is an average of 2oz per lb of weight normal? I think I am pissing everyone off by fussing.

What age is your lo and how heavy are they? How often is she feeding.

My ds varied from day to day and week to week in the amount he would eat. He would start eating more, I would increase his feeds and then he would start taking less again. The most I have put his bottles up to was 7 oz and that was at about 20 weeks. The 'rule of thumb' is around 2.5 x the weight in lbs e.g. a 10lb baby may take around 25oz per 24 hours. BUT some babies need more and some need less than this.

Have you tried using a faster teat? If so, and there is no difference then just feed you lo as much as she wants - she will soon let you know when she is hungry.

Have her weighed weekly but LIE ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE IS EATING

This should reassure you that her weight gain is fine and normal. 5 oz is plenty, ds2 has never drunk more than 7 oz in one sitting, and more than 5 was a rarety, and he is nearly 1 and plump and heakthy.

WTF? Why is 5 oz 'just not enough'? How the fuck does she know how full a 3 month old baby is? I presume said baby hasn't rung her to complain HV's do make me cross.

Hi, thanks for replying. She's 14 weeks, 13.5lb, has 5 feeds a day so using that same calculation she should be on just under 34oz in 24 hours; but is lucky to reach 28oz. I tried the next teat size up a couple of weeks ago but it was a bit too fast and she was spluttering like mad, poor little thing. Maybe I'll try this again in the week. She usually sleeps through from 8 - 6 already (lucky me!) but from when this started she's started waking again (once) and drinking a whole bottle, in fact it's often her least troublesome feed. I just think I'm missing something really obvious but I am over-analysing I think. Thanks though!

Good thinking Colditz - a very pleasing strategy indeed! it will give me immense pleasure to lie to a health professional who has made me doubt myself and my beautiful, healthy baby! And knowing your ds2 rarely drank over 5 makes me feel better. Of course, if I'd carried on BFing, nobody would know how much she's eating would they? (Makes mental note to 'get a grip'!)

Catnapper, that is exactly waht ds2 did. I never got to the bottom of it. Have her weighhed, and as long as it's fine, I personally, in my unprofessional opinion only (colditz hastily covers back) would tell her whatever she wants to hear.

Your daughter is drinking a perfectly acceptable amount of milk, your HV sounds like a control freak.

Did you know you don't have to go to see her at all?

I will put a photo of ds2 on my profile to prove he was fine and plumptious

2 minutes

There is a photo on my profile now.

No, I didn't know but now I realise I can go along and fabricate stories about a mammoth appetite just to amuse myself, I might do it for the entertainment value! Thanks Colditz, will sleep happily tonight! (dreamt of finding unsterilised bottles with ripped teats in my baby bag last night - I ask you!)

Gorgeous photo - lucky you - and thanks Colditz

And catnapper , why don't you join our antenatal thread?

we're very friendly, honest!

for what it's worth, my 11 pound 11 week old has never had more than 4oz at a go, and by "go" i mean an hour of me offering him the bottle and him rejecting it more often than not. most often he takes 3 ounces in an hour but many times he will only take 2. he has only come near the recommended amount on a handful of days, and often eats way below. doctors thought it might be reflux of milk intolerance but treatment for neither worked, so now they think that that's just the way he is. he is slowly gaining weight and the doctor tells me not to worry, but of course i do and of course it's a big pain because it takes me forever to feed him - to be honest that's teh most frustrating part for me.

also just found out that my husband was the exact same way as a baby, and although he's thin, he's always been perfectly healthy.

ds1 was just like this. the hv was never happy with what hed had but managed a strained smile.
he never took an 8oz bottle before he was 12months old. i assumed he had a light appetite and just kept going with what he wanted. he was fine with weaning and now he eats everything and plenty of it!
he is a happy, healthy little chap.
if your daighter is chirpy and happy, alert etc then you are doing everything right. you can't make a baby take more than they need imo.
just go with her, she will build up gradually.
above or around 50th centile is fine anyway. both my boys quite big at birth ds1 was on the 91st centile to begin with but went down to the 50th.
try not to fret over her weight gain, some weeks they gain loads other weeks they dont. i used to worry and get ds1 weighed every week but i dont take ds2 ever really and they actually phone me and ask if they can see him lol so he goes every couple of months.

you are doing fine, you are her mummy and you know whatis best for her! x

for what its worth, i have just got the boys red books out and ds2, who is a greedy little bug and has guzzled 8 oz from the start weighed 15lb at 14weeks.
so a little guzzler and a boy is less than pound heavier than your lo
your dd is right i would say...

at 14 weeks ds1 was 13lb3 and this is what the hv wrote in the notes in the back:
'good weight gain- continues to take 4oz of milk 5-6 times a day. now using cow and gate hungrier babies. advice given re. routine during the day' lol

Thanks all & LadyOtF, this is just the sort of thing I wanted to hear! I am sure some of these HVs want you to feed up your babies into little porklings so that other experts can then bollock you in a few years time for having an obese child with a huge appetite! My dd is just like her dad to look at, my DH who is like a racing snake. Feeling sooooooo much better rather than dreading every feed

Just wanted to add, reading your post catnapper and you could have been me. I am worried about my DD's eating. She is 15 weeks and weighs just 12lb 7oz. She has pretty much always been bottlefed and used to drink 5oz each feed, then from about 10 weeks will now only take 3oz most times. She also sleeps through, with her best feed being the 6oz she takes at some random point between 8pm and 7am. She will wake in the morning not hungry at all and I too spend an hour each feed trying to get her to take more than the 3oz. She feeds every 3 hours. She is also fine in every other way and I told myself that as long as she weighed the right amount then I would stop worrying - easier said than done when my Mummy friends all have the opposite problem.

Hi LMP, thanks for backing up what the others have said, but like you I have to constantly 'manage myself' to stop the fussing and worrying. As a new Mum, am constantly over-analysing I think, always wondering 'is it the formula?', 'is the teat too slow?', 'is she too horizontal/vertical when I feed her?', 'is she trying to change her natural pattern and I'm preventing it?' - God, the list goes on. My dd guzzles the main part of her bottle, burps and then needs a 15-20 minute time out to let it go down before we struggle with the last bit. By then she is usually knackered and ready for a kip. Having said all that, I know how incredibly lucky I am to have a baby that sleeps soundly with no health problems when other new Mums are knackered beyond belief; I will just keep monitoring her weight and hopefully learn to wind my neck in a bit!