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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

breastfeeding amazes me...

92 replies

Newtothis11 · 27/05/2017 02:30

I found out today our milk changes in hot weather to compensate for what baby needs - how clever is that! BF really does amaze me! What else can we celebrate about BF

OP posts:
GinIsIn · 27/05/2017 07:05

Nishky Same here. The midwives were so driven to push breastfeeding that we ended up with a distressed and dehydrated baby too because although it just wasn't working, they wouldn't discuss any other alternatives. I spent the entire first weeks of my pregnancy in a fog of guilt and anxiety and almost had a breakdown with the effort of trying to "get it right". The weight of all that "support and education" nearly broke me. People need that level of support further down the line to help them continue. They don't need bullying at the start if it just doesn't work.

GinIsIn · 27/05/2017 07:08

Paradise that is what I have just said 3 times now. My point is that it isn't new mothers not being supported or educated enough to give it a try. Most mothers do. I had support and education coming out of my ears at the beginning and it was oppressive. Where that support should be channelled is to those mothers slightly further down the line who are still struggling, not as a stick to beat people who were never going to be able to breastfeed at the start.

GinIsIn · 27/05/2017 07:09

Basically, rather than bullying everyone in the same heavyhabded manner at the beginning when everything's overwhelming anyway, the support would be better channeled into helping those who do breastfeed continue to do so.

Nishky · 27/05/2017 07:11

Oh Fenella I am so sorry you went through that too. What enrages me is now I know quite a few people who topped up with formula in the early days and still went on to exclusively breastfeed. No-one ever suggested that.

That was my first baby, with my second I decided I would try and would then express as a friend had done for 9 months. Before the birth the midwife was very supportive of this approach. I gave up after 24 hours as I received conflicting advice from midwives in the hospital. By this time my mental health was stronger and I just flipped and told them to bring me formula and ignored them all

SamanthaBrique · 27/05/2017 07:16

I think perhaps there is a need for a little more education on what newborn babies are like. I have many friends who wanted to breastfeed but switched to formula after a few days, saying they "didn't have enough milk". Their reasoning for this was that their baby would have a feed and then be hungry again an hour later, or would feed constantly. But this is because babies have tiny stomachs, so lots of short feeds are normal, as is cluster feeding. In fact, the latter is a way of getting your supply established. But they didn't know that and were pressured by those around them to give formula.

FuckyDuck · 27/05/2017 07:16

Breastfeeding is hands down the best thing I've ever done. My DD was born at 28 weeks and has got to 14lb in 7 months from my milk alone. My proudest achievement.

SansaryaAgain · 27/05/2017 07:19

Yes OP, it is amazing. I look at photos of gloriously chubby DS at 5 or 6 months and think wow, I did that just with my body! He's now 3 and alas as skinny as a rake, I miss my squeezeable baby 😭😭

CaptainWarbeck · 27/05/2017 07:24

Yes samantha totally agree. It's practical education we need more of, not medical benefits education.

I have a friend who's avidly ordering lactation cookies online and eating all manner of herbs because she doesn't think she has enough milk. She thinks this because her baby goes through stages of wanting to feed more often and for longer. She's started him on baby rice at 4 months because of this, he's sleeping for longer after he eats the rice, and she's angsting over her milk supply, saying he's still wanting to feed when 'there's nothing there'. Sad And this is a woman who actively wants to keep breast feeding.

I've talked about cluster feeding and supply and demand and going to bed with your baby to just feed and not to stress but I don't want to be pushy. He's a lovely chubby little baby, and no one has concerns over his weight.

I just wish she had a supportive mum/health visitor/someone who would tell her it's all normal!

Sairelou · 27/05/2017 07:25

I agree Samantha that maybe if antenatal education focussed on realistic expectations of breastfeeding rather than the natural, beautiful bonding experience everyone expects then when problems do arise new mothers would know the problem that they face is completely normal and fixable with the right support. Certainly that they are not a failure for having shredded nipples!

Anyway back to the OP, it amazes me that there is really positive research coming out of studying breastmilk and the antibodies it contains. One day a cure for cancer might come from a study on the stem cells in breast milk. I can't get my head around the fact that I make a substance that could possibly hold the key to that Shock

CaptainWarbeck · 27/05/2017 07:26

Link about breast milk for boys/girls if anyone's interested.

Mermaid36 · 27/05/2017 07:27

My girls were born at 26 weeks and were in hospital for 18 weeks. I expressed first then breastfed 12 weeks after.

I am constantly amazed that my body (that couldn't support the twins inside), has managed to make amazing milk to feed them on the outside. 13.5 months and going strong!

SamanthaBrique · 27/05/2017 07:30

Captain, I'm even not sure health professionals are giving out the best information. A friend was recently told by a midwife that her few days old baby had jaundice because he was a big baby and she didn't have enough milk for him. But jaundice isn't caused by hunger, is it?

CaptainWarbeck · 27/05/2017 07:35

No. Totally wrong advice Sad it is frustrating. Plus I think a lot of well meant advice from lay people is often just wrong too and puts doubts in women's minds about being able to breast feed.

DermotOLogical · 27/05/2017 07:38

Fenella very few people are totally unable to breastfeed. I'm sorry for your experience, it sounds very tough.

You are right about ongoing support, that is necessary. Anecdotally most people I know who quit did so around the 6-10 week mark. This is breaking point for so many mums and if they could get through that, then I think most of them would have continued to 6 months.

I don't think this thread is really the place to discuss this. Breastfeeding is bloody amazing, there's no denying that. It's not a stick to beat non breastfeeders with, more marvelling at the incredible science of it all.

AllMyBestFriendsAreMetalheads · 27/05/2017 07:39

I was still bf DC1 when I was pregnant with DC2 and I found it fascinating how my milk changed.

It really slowed down, and then turned more like colostrum before the end. DC1 never mentioned anything and never seemed to be bothered by this change.

Then DC2 was born, and a few days later my milk came in. The next time DC1 fed she latched on, had some milk then came off and said in amazement "the nice yummy milk is back!" and latched back on.

A toddler can be also really useful when your boobs are like rocks and the baby is asleep.

Re: jaundice, when DC1 was born she had a slight tinge and I was told to give her plenty of breastmilk and plenty of sunlight and it would clear up. Which it did.

I do also believe that society has this idea of babies feeding every 4 hours and that there is something 'wrong' if they need feeding more often. I was much less stressed when I stopped clock watching.

totaldiva · 27/05/2017 07:50

Breastfeeding is amazing and one of my greatest achievements too.

I really struggled with DD1 but I think, even though I did lots of reading and went to the classes, that I was largely unprepared for breastfeeding a newborn. For some reason (formula culture?) we are conditioned to expect our brand new babies to feed in intervals, with DD2 I was much more prepared.

The best advice is just to feed for everything, forget dummies, patting, shushing, swaying and just breastfeed. Quite quickly we fell into a natural pattern and my DD2 is a good sleeper.

It is amazing, our bodies are incredible.

GinIsIn · 27/05/2017 07:51

Dermot I didn't say the thread was a stick to beat people with. I said that the glut of support foisted on you at the very start can feel like that, and that more of that should be channeled to the point where people who get going with breastfeeding at all start to give up. (6-10 weeks)

Sairelou · 27/05/2017 07:54

Another thing that amazes me (though can be slightly annoying at times Wink) is the body's response when a hungry baby cries. Even if it wasn't my own baby I got a let down like there was just an instinctive need to feed the baby. Even now at 20months if an infant does that hungry cry I can feel the letdown tingle, though thankfully I don't leak anymore!

deathb4decaf · 27/05/2017 08:19

I agree with you samantha

MrsBellefleur · 27/05/2017 08:21

I'm currently looking at my 9 week old wriggling in her cot. She is a chunky baby but was quite small when born. I'm looking at her little chubby arms and thinking "I made you from scratch and my milk is making those little fat rolls" and it is utterly amazing to me how my body knows just what she needs.

Wreckingball25 · 27/05/2017 08:30

I find it amazing too. Just started weaning my almost six month old and it blows my mind that I got her from 6lbs 10z to 14lbs+ on my own! Does anyone have any recommended links? I'm going to start dropping feeds soon and would like to read some more about it whilst I'm still feeding. An Nct mate of mine said she already can't remember what it feels like to feed, three months on.

Original poster
Newtothis11 · 27/05/2017 08:34

Oh gosh hope I've not offend anyone. My intention wasn't to make those who aren't breastfeeding feel inferior. For me breastfeeding was so hard in the early days filled with anxiety that baby wasn't getting enough milk. I agree the support is terrible, I felt so fobbed off being told to carry on by midwife/ HV and they wouldn't even discuss formula with me.

I hope those that aren't bf can still be amazed by what breast milk does despitennot feeding themselves for what ever reason.

I wonder in what way it changes for boys and girls.. any ailment seems to be cured by milk- dry skin, dribble rash, eczema. It's a wonder they don't analyse it more think of the cures they may find!

So many people have said it to me you've done so well feeding this long (4 months) I just smile now as I don't feel I've done 'well' for us it worked out. If anything I feel like a fraud as atm is fairly easy (if I'm allowed to say that) and far more simple than preparing bottles.

OP posts:
UserShmuser · 27/05/2017 08:35

I love breastfeeding! Still feeding my two year old and I'm always amazed by the facts about breastfeeding. The thing about how their saliva tells us what to put in the milk is just insane, when I first heard it it sounded like something extra terrestrial

DS had to have a major operation and was really ill the end of last year and all he had for nine days was breast milk.

The doctor came in one day mid feed and when I expressed my concern about him not eating he just said "There's only one type of food in the whole world that can give a human everything they need and that is breast milk. I know your son very well and know that he wouldn't drink out of a bottle and I saw you trying to give him breakfast this morning so what you are doing right now is keeping him fed, full of nutrients and vitamins and you're keeping him alive."

Looking back I'm not sure if he was just being his lovely self and trying to cheer me up and make me feel better but that gave an exhausted me who had hardly slept a boost!

jimijack · 27/05/2017 08:45

I feel horrendous guilty about SO many parenting failures that I perceive I do on a daily basis, however I feel very proud that I was able to breastfeed my boys.

Both 5Lbs at birth, ds 1 was 8 months when I stopped, now a strapping 14 year old with his head permanently wedged in the fridge, ds2, I bf until his 3rd birthday is now 4, it's probably my one "good thing" I did.

littletwofeet · 27/05/2017 09:01

Some benefits increase into toddlerhood. Some of the immune factors in breastmilk increase in concentration into the second year of breastfeeding.

@Wreckingball25 there is no need to start dropping feeds. Breastmilk should be offered before solids up to a year. Just continue to breastfeed on demand and offer solids along side at that age. There's quite a lot on kellymom.
kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/solids-how/

fenella sorry to hear you had a bad experience. You say that you were given too much information but it sounds like you were given the WRONG information. Often with the right information and support, women experiencing what you did are able to breastfeed.
It is important that there is more support but it needs to be the right advice given. So so often women are provided with poor advice and incorrect information from HCPs which leads to breastfeeding stopping unnecessarily.